Never being a daddy .

Post Reply New Topic

This is a pretty major , emotional , topic for me to bang out right now just as the computer lab is closing , but ~ The great proabllity that I will never be a father , or even a " not a full-time father , but...) " daddy "/sort of semi-dad figure - Does , despite it all , have me feeling sad now , as I capsule it up here .
I must go now , as said , the lab's closing now . 'Bye .

I never had any kids, either.

Of all the things that most NTs take for granted and most aspies miss out on, this is the one that bothers me the least. The prospect of being a parent has never particularly appealed to me, and even having two young nephews hasn't changed that, much as I like them. I think a cat would satisfy my paternal instincts well enough.

With no family of my own, sometimes I think my purpose in life is over and it's time to die. But I keep living. And keep working. Participating in some facets of society.

Guess I was just meant to help keep civilization going so others and their families can do their thing. I'm OK with that. Much less burdensome for me than having people actually live with me and know me too well. I'm better off being on a sort of an outer loop of it all.

I've never had kids or a partner, but at least I have my freedom.

Same here. No interest whatsoever, and frankly, you couldnt freaking pay me to even interact with a kid, let alone have kids of my own. Not... bloody... happening.

I have dogs. They fulfill the role that I need them to just fine. Wouldnt have it any other way.

A lot of people end up with lousy kids.

As usual, excellent point from EzraS.

But also, you guys (ASS-P and Kraftie) are kind of young to be lamenting never being a father or father figure. I am an older biological parent, so never say never, but trust me, biological parents are not everything. There are lots of ways to be a parent to a young person, and you both have many years to go to make that contribution, if you wish.

You would both make excellent dads.

I'm female.
I'll never be a daddy ...

I'm 55. Cary Grant was about 80 when he had his first kid LOL

But, Phoenix....you'd be a fine mommy for a fine daddy.

A daddy who would be delighted every time you emerge through the ashes prettily.

You'd be a great teacher for a kid. You'd prepare him/her well for Starfleet Academy.

I'm not willing to settle for never being a mommy, so I'm determined to figure it all out however I can. Luckily I have my family to support me.

Okay, now I'm gonna cry ... it's kind of amazing you would say this now.

As for you, kraftiekortie, you would make a great supportive, encouraging dad.

A lot of insensitive/ignorant people raise/create/ lousy kids.

OK. I admit bias. My two kids are great, and if anyone wanted to
know why, or how I was so lucky, I'd say, 100%, it was due to my
wife's intelligence and diligence.

I, know what you're thinking: "How could a dufus like ZenDen
attract such a talented woman?" My answer: Lucky I guess.

For most couples their input and training and attention to the
details of their children's lives is what shapes these children
into the adults they become. But although love is a primary
component of raising children, intelligence and attention to
children as they grow older is just as important.

Honest introspection needed to understand yourself and your
limits/capabilities/failings will help steer children in the right
direction (instead of following in our stumbling footsteps).

We attempted to overcome the lack of attention (etc.) and
understanding of our childhoods.

Well said ZenDen.

lous·y.
[ˈlouzē]
ADJECTIVE
1.
informal
very poor or bad; disgusting:

"the service is usually lousy" ·
[more]

synonyms: terrible · atrocious · dreadful · frightful · execrable ·
[more]

2.infested with lice.


My father used to call us lousy kids when he was angry.
But we weren't lousy. We were good kids.
We didn't have lice either.

...To all:
Thank you , Phoenix .
I was remembering Tony Randall as a far as possible biological-ness goes , KK , I never knew or forgot about CG .
Another Golden Hollywood Ager CG , Clark Gable , has his first kid rather late - and proceeded to drop dead before Clark , Jr. was born !
I was including not-a-fulltime-daddy (And if I was , either biological of adoptive ~ Gawrsh , I'm so PC !) " Big Brother "/uncle-ish-ness too - I am remembering an old Superman back-up strip , The Private Life Of Clark Kent " , (which followed Superman entirely when he was CK , never when he was in costume) showing CK as a Big Brother type on hiis weekends ~ Um , as far as any sort of " bing involved "/non-biologicalness goes , I am just the GREAT prospect agencies want - Homeless now (for decades ) , Aspie , and even a (albeit a teeny-tiny one , and from/growing from " poverty crimes " anyway) record ! Yeah , just the TV spots/Oprah-Dr. Phil profilee type...
I even feel some vague " my line will die with me " ness , for a lack of a kid ~ Though , hey , aren't all white Angol-Celt/WASP males the cancer of the human race , who should Die ! Die ! Die ! as soon as/as much as possible , so more virtuous skin tones may move onto the fore ?

Everyone I have ever met who is a father is completely miserable. They have absolutely no time for themselves to pursue hobbies, hang out with friends, watch grown-up TV shows and movies, etc. Everything revolves around their kids. They work 9-5 five days a week and spend every evening at Tommy's soccer practice or Julie's piano recital or some kid from school's birthday party, etc. They spend weekends fixing s**t around the house they pay for but never get to actually enjoy because they spend 24/7 taking care of the kids instead of having fun.

I have no kids and guess what I do instead? I go on vacation to Las Vegas. I go to Hawaii. I sleep in on weekends and then watch marathons of R-Rated Horror movies. I spend my evenings playing Dungeons and Dragons and drinking beer with my buddies. I have sex with my wife because she's not overwhelmed from dealing with kids all day long.

Be glad you don't have children. Let the immigrants have kids instead and don't worry about it.