Page 1 of 3 [ 42 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

MeowMoon
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 17 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

17 May 2016, 9:27 pm

I don't,
many people asked me this why and I think I finally figured out why.

When I look at someone I get axniety I can see their face like all their flaws their zits the color of their lips etc. and it keeps replaying in my head I remember every detail of their face which maybe is the reason why I advoid it.

I feel like I'm staring at them and don't know when to look away..


Anyway why do you make or don't make eye contact?



JoeyFlash
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 175
Location: Central California

17 May 2016, 10:32 pm

Yes, I always have.


_________________
Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Matthew.

Matthew who?

Math you couldn't do unless you had an IQ of 184.


Grammar Geek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2015
Age: 28
Posts: 889
Location: Missouri

17 May 2016, 10:39 pm

No, because it's painful and overly intimate. If I ever find a significant other, then I might be able to do it with them.



ZombieBrideXD
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2013
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,507
Location: Canada

17 May 2016, 10:54 pm

No, I have never been able to make eye contact for more than a second or two. Not even just looking at the eyes but a persons face in general. It's hard to explain but I can't understand what a persons saying if I'm looking at them. I just "turn off" my eyesight or look at objects behind them. Same thing with watching YouTube videos and stuff, I cannot make eye contact.


_________________
Obsessing over Sonic the Hedgehog since 2009
Diagnosed with Aspergers' syndrome in 2012.
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 severity without intellectual disability and without language impairment in 2015.

DA: http://mephilesdark123.deviantart.com


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,280
Location: Pacific Northwest

17 May 2016, 11:55 pm

I have always done it off and on. It would take me a while to look at someone and then I wouldn't look at another new person. It's like I have to get comfortable with you first before I can start looking at you without feeling uncomfortable. Plus I feel like I am staring at them and it's rude to stare. I have no problem doing it with family though but it took me about two years to do it with my husband.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


Marybird
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,818

18 May 2016, 12:14 am

No, it's kind of scary. I don't think anyone should be forced to make eye contact if it is uncomfortable.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,009
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

18 May 2016, 12:39 am

I can give eye-contact half of the time. The other half of the time, it's too difficult for me to do so. It's too intimate and painful.


_________________
The Family Enigma


Ban-Dodger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Age: 1026
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,820
Location: Возможно в будущее к Россию идти... можеть быть...

18 May 2016, 1:03 am

I think it's extremely rude and insensitive of NT's to automatically expect Eye-Contact from everybody since Eye-Contact is a level of Personal and Intimate-Activity. Some sources always tell you not to look directly at a dog's eyes unless you want the dog to attack you. Eye-Contact is extremely intrusive unless I am giving you permission to let you into my personal-space.


_________________
Pay me for my signature. 私の署名ですか❓お前の買うなければなりません。Mon autographe nécessite un paiement. Которые хочет мою автографу, у тебя нужно есть деньги сюда. Bezahlst du mich, wenn du meine Unterschrift wollen.


EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

18 May 2016, 1:46 am

I do not make eye contact.
For me it feels unnatural and uncomfortable.

I do look at people's mouth when they are talking, because reading their lips helps me understand what they are saying. And I also have a teeth fixation.

My cousin sometimes puts his forehead against mine to force eye contact as a game cause he's that kinda guy haha.



goatfish57
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 621
Location: In a village in La Mancha whose name I cannot recall

18 May 2016, 4:15 am

On and off, figuring out the correct amount of time to hold the eye contact is truly confusing. Sometimes, it is too long and people get pissed. Other times, it is too short and I miss out on the facial responses.

The other day, I was experimenting with different expressions and eye contact as I was taking my daily walk. All of a sudden, there were these very strange reactions. Women and men gave me these huge smiles and started to act embarrassed. One lady looked like she was going to swoon.

I tried it on a happy dog and the poor thing nearly fell over from wagging its tail. The look remains a mystery to me and I am rather afraid to try it again. Some how, the look feels like it is socially inappropriate.

Moving my eyes, sort of checking in and checking out, seems to be the least intrusive and is good for street contact. More personal contact requires longer looks and better eye placement, slightly off the eyes towards the mouth.

Working on my facial expressions, eye contact and voice does seem to make life a bit easier. Singing a silly song to myself gets me in the right mood. I use other songs to project different emotions.


_________________
Rdos: ND 133/200, NT 75/200

Not Diagnosed and Not Sure


b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

18 May 2016, 5:05 am

i do not make eye contact because i am not interested in looking at people's eyes.
i do not feel what many asperger people report, which is that they feel an uncomfortable intensity when they look at peoples eyes.

i do not care what they are looking at when i talk to them, and so i do not look to see.



Lumi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,513
Location: Positive-minded

18 May 2016, 5:28 am

Sometimes I make eye contact, it can be short or a stare.


_________________
Slytherin/Thunderbird


Gaara
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2015
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 209

18 May 2016, 6:20 am

Nope, always feel like they're judging me.



izzeme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665

18 May 2016, 7:08 am

I don't; unless the recipient is emotionally close to me, it is a physically and emotionally painful experience, as if they are sticking needles in my eyes.

I have gotten quite good at faking it though, even my psycologist had to do a double-take after i told her about this, she didn't believe me at first.



Tiankay
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 205
Location: 3rd Street on the right, just after the event horizon...

18 May 2016, 7:16 am

I dont know how to feel about this. With unknown people its super hard. I can do it for a second or two, but it throws me out of focus, i forget what i have to say, have to concentrate alot to not forget the whole conversation topic, my vision starts blurring and its just too much me. When i know and trust a person for long enough it gets better. It never gets "comfortable" but it gets "bearable" for a short amount of time. I usually look for the mouth when conversating with people, that comes natural to me as it is the point where the sound comes from i try to focus on. But that only works if im comfortable with the situation, if im not im fixating an object near to them to keep focussed.

Peace
TK



Quill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 764

18 May 2016, 8:39 am

I can relate to Tiankay's answer. Eye contact doesn't feel invasive or painful to me, but it makes it hard for me to focus on the conversation. It's like I can either listen and talk, or I can look and not absorb much at all. I usually watch people's mouths, which is good for me because it helps me understand what they're saying, and at least I'm looking at their face.