I struggle with self-motivation after changes in my life.

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Hello , I am a 32 yr old man , who has coasted through most of my life without anyone noticing my PDD-Nos I was diagnosed at a young age (5) with Adhd and the school psych had suggested medication but my parents had refused. It was not until my daughter was in early intervention for her ASD before I had connected the dots with help from my daughters therapist.I have always struggled focusing my attention during any life activity but recently it has gotten worse during a period of significant change and under a seemingly unendurable amount of stress.
I was the provider for my family up until a few months ago, I worked outside and I loved the sun, I alsoliked building Masonry walls I didn't even know I liked doing it until i had to stop so my wife could now take care of me with a full time job , Creating a very different occupation vacancy for me to fill,House Dad I know I should have nothing at all to complain about but I struggle with the chores,find myself too tired after taking care of our 18 month baby and our non verbal 5 yr old daughter ( who by the way has elopement issues ,where most of my PTSD comes from ! !!,well now its been 7 months and life doesn't seem to be getting easier. Me and my wife have been together for almost 8 yrs and the first couple were the easiest. We had no worries, I made good money doing commercial masonry building schools and she was able to attend college course. Then we had our sweet darling, Layla ,who is perfect despite having health issues and an early diagnosis of ASD at the early age of 1.5yrs .It became hard. Financially, It was harder for me to keep a job with so many appointments for both my daughter and my new diagnosis of Crohn's Disease.
We have struggled up until this year, when Lindsi (my wife) had graduated college and found full time work
for the state government. I feel isolated alone and have not much for a support system so i figured i would vent on here and see if anyone reading is going through similar situations I feel like a broken housedad

Messed up housewife here. Different problems, but similar result.

Don't feel guilty about feeling tired and confused, taking care of a non verbal kid with runaway issues is plenty of work, never mind adding Crohn's on top of that.

Being on this forum helps me, I feel less alone.

Some days are good, some are bad. Today I had a lot of spoons, so I managed to vacuum clean and wash the floors.

I try to do things when I think of them, and not plan so much. It's better to do something than nothing.

rswartzjr, are you/have you pursued disability income for the Crohns? (and any other things you can throw in)

It won't make you feel less isolated, but it would help with expenses.

You probably need to get out more. Is your 5 yr old going to school? If so, you and the baby can go on adventures. If not, it might make sense to work with someone who can babysit, to slowly integrate them into the household roles so that you can go do things on your own sometimes.

I'm sure your contribution to these two kids is much greater than you give yourself credit for.

There might be other house husband's in your local area, the feeling of isolation is pretty bad,but going out does help a lot

That's a useful suggestion. One thing, though; when you have a toddler it is easy to start feeling that you should go to all kinds of toddler activities, and you might convince yourself it counts as an outing for yourself. When I had a 1-year old, mommy groups really sucked what little energy I had left out of me. Sleep deprivation combined with illness combined with social awkwardness made these sessions very exhausting. If I could go back in time, I'd have done something fun alone with my kid, like going to the botanical gardens to look at flowers or something.