Ruminations over negative things in my life

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One thing that I am currently working on with my Asperger's is the fact that I have a tendency to ruminate and obsess over bad events that have happened in my life in the past. I have noticed that these ruminations and obsessions can go on for many years. They have usually been lessened by another negative event happening in my life or by a life change (such as changing jobs or another shiny new interest).

Most of these obsessions have been about friendship, or the loss thereof. One had to do with a childhood friend who had nothing to do with me for a number of years (and would brusquely tell me to leave him alone), another had to do with a childhood friend who I was helping with a natural disaster when he was the mayor of his small community (who set me up that I did something sexually motivated to him and then proceeds to excommunicate me from his life). I eventually got over these events, even though it took many years (the first individual is now a close friend again). The passage of time, life changes and moving on to other interests helped me with this. Lastly, I am fighting the same obsessions and ruminations over the death of my best friend from college who took his life almost two years ago. He had a schizophrenia diagnosis and the two of us knew each other through the school, religious activities, political and civic activities. He had a genius level iq. Part of the obsession over this friendship has been trying to find someone to "replace" him with similar characteristics. I am getting tired of the obsessions and ruminations over my friend's death and trying to find a replacement (and I think that it is wearing on others as well).

Do others on the spectrum ruminate about bad things that have happened in their recent past? How long has it taken you to deal with these obsessions/ruminations? What type of techniques, things or behaviors do you do to get over these obsessions?

I am sorry about your friend who took his life and the other friends who dumped you. I do know that pain of that all too well. I ruminate a lot as well and sometimes it's over things that happened decades ago. It has to do with the speed and efficiency with which our brains process emotional things. We tend to be very slow. We also tend to suffer from Autism related PTSD which does not help. But yeah, I know what you mean. It can take decades for me and it can be anything that I considered traumatic. I grieve over friends who have inexplicably dumped me as well even though we were super close and other traumatic events in my life. It's a difficult thing to deal with.