I think my cousin might be autistic, what should I do?

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As far as I know I'm the only one in my family who is diagnosed on the spectrum (aside from distant cousins) a lot of my family are autistic LIKE, such as not liking crowds, quoting movies all the time, but no one is really diagnosable.

All except my younger cousin, she's 13 and I and my sister both agree she may be autistic or its at least worth looking into for a diagnoses.

She spends most of her time alone although she has friends, she gets overloaded with sound, poor self hygiene, poor speech abilities but very talented in art. Interests in anime that go a bit beyond typical, she struggles in school with attention and self monitoring. She fails to make eye contact.

I'm not a psychologist so I can't diagnose her but it's like seeing a repeat of myself at 13. She has slightly better social skills than I did though, at least I think so. She also seems a little more developed than I was.

Really looking at it she's functioning as well as a 13 year old should so maybe a diagnoses isn't warranted but I'm tempted to bring it up with my aunt but I thought about it and decided that if she really has problems her mom will do something about it, she's doing fine so I'll stay out of it.

What do you think what I'm doing is best?

Did you go through a lot of stigma in school because of your diagnosis?

If so, I would hold off on attempting a diagnosis until her symptoms are so bad that they are causing her to fail in school.

Tread carefully.. maybe frame the conversation about needs and individuality, not diagnosis at all; leave Autism out of the conversation at least until there has been some progress in establishing a dialogue about different children/different needs/different preferences, experiences and so on, and from those conversations, you will be able to form a better idea of how your aunt views other-than-neurotypical people generally.

I had a hard time in school in general, before my diagnoses I was rude, loud, inconsiderate, obsessive over sonic, overbearing and my teachers refused my diagnoses

After my diagnoses I was ostrisized but teachers were more willing to help me.

It got better after my diagnoses though

You mention that she has "attention issues."

How is she doing in school? Does she get thrown out of class often?

I'm always ambivalent about somebody getting a label while going to school, especially if the school is not enlightened as to autism.

I would agree with B19. You have to be really careful. There are people who are really not knowledgeable about autism. They don't know enough to know that autism is not always a tragedy. They might even think it's some sort of punishment from God or from some "spirit."

I'm 65 and only got diagnosed when I was about 60. I believe that we all deserve a diagnosis if we have autism or anything else, for that matter. Knowing is helpful and there are resources that can help one fit in better. I also wish I had this knowledge when I entered university. I probably would still have majored in theoretical math, but I would have done a second major in engineering or computer science or both. Those fields are full of autistic people and seem better accepted than in the field I entered and ultimately failed at. I didn't fail because I couldn't do the work. I failed because I couldn't fit in. Had I gotten into engineering or computer science, I believe I would have excelled as well as fit in much better.

My life & my self-understanding and way of understanding others went through a ground-breaking metamorphosis that I have a really hard time describing sometimes to others BECAUSE of my new understanding of autism and being autistic.
I think it can have such a positive change on people even when it does sadly come with some negative bits. So, yeah, if you think someone is suffering by not knowing or by dealing with being autistic- you should let them know. I think it is the ethical thing to do.
But true older, mean, bigoted, or just abusive people (like my family) will/could use an autism diagnosis or the idea of it to tease or make fun of the person or just won't understand it.

I have a similar worry about someone, but I am not in much contact with said person and feel unqualified to make suggestions. I am really unsure, but I remember them as a child, and the word shy doesn't even begin to describe it.

Also, this adult person has no job, no relationship, drives their family crazy by harping on the same subjects and suffers from depression and anorexia. Something has to change, but I worry that I am completely wrong, or that people around this person will completely dismiss everything I say because said person is superficially high functioning. Heck, maybe they are right. A lot of people can't accomplish the things this person has accomplished, including a lot of social situations. Yet they wear sunglasses all the time, can't look people in the eye, and either run away or overshare.