Is it a part of YOU?

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I see people around here talking about how autism is a part of them. How it's inseparable from their identity and personality. This is particularly noticeable in the perennial "if there were a cure, would you get it?" threads. People in these threads often say how they wouldn't be themselves without autism. Ok. I think they're selling themselves short.

Then they say "how could anyone be the same person?"

Ummm...

I haven't had anyone explicitly tell me that my autism is a part of me. I'd have to answer that one pretty clearly:

It isn't.

I have autism, but I don't consider it an important part of my identity, or key to who I am as a person. It's something outside what I perceive as "me", but which exerts a large amount of influence on "me". It's no more a part of me than a tumor would be; it's biology. I don't consider my neurological quirks to be key to who I am even if they affect the medium through which those things come into being. If those quirks could be removed, I firmly believe I would not miss any of them and would in fact feel more "myself", if that makes any sense. Right now, I feel like they are preventing me from being the person I'm meant to.

I come here to find people who have some things in common with me that most don't, not for a group identity. Saying "we" about autistic people feels strange to me.

I'm curious if anyone else relates to this. It's not something I've heard from anyone else, at least not explicitly.

I am KraftieKortie. I am not Autism.

Autism is a part of me--but it doesn't define me.

It's a part of how I relate to my environment.

And how I relate to people.

Autism influences how I relate to both.

I would cut it out of myself and would kill it, burn it, drown it if I could.

It's just a part of me. Now that I know about that part, I am working on it. It's slow since I can't do it by myself, but it is just one part of me. I refuse to let it define me.

It is a part of me the same way a tumor or an arm would be. Some things are noticeable. Some are not.

But, it is a part. My brain works the way it does. Your brains (all of you) work differently. But, we are still the same. Dealing with something in one way or another. Some more severe than others.

But, I have Asperger's. It is what it is.

My depression is an affliction. It is irrational and irregular and has no positive possibilities. If it were possible, I would cure my depression.

Autism is a description of the machine that is afflicted with depression. It is persistent and predictable. It is inexorable and inescapable. Perhaps most importantly, it is not all bad. It is crucial for me to see autism as a part of myself to be managed and used, like a bad temper or addictive tendencies. I have learned to live like this. Changing that part of myself would require completely relearning how to live.

It's a part of me, but it doesn't define who I am. It colours the way that I look at the world. It also colours my preferences and my thought patterns. It doesn't define who I am. I don't feel that I'm selling myself short. I feel that I'm being bluntly honest.

Autism heavily influences my personality and it is apart of me but it isn't my whole person.

I think I would be overalls the same person if I didn't have autism, just better functioning skills, more accepting to change, better social skills, less sensitive to my environment ect,

@Rebel_Nowe: I think this is a matter of perspective. I have the same conditions, but I view it very differently and see it as no more beneficial than depression. For you, it's as you describe. For me, they are both "afflictions". I have learned to live with them, but given the option (sadly, I won't be) I'd rather not.

@zkydz: Yeah, this is interesting; we've discussed before how we're opposites here. You were only diagnosed recently, I was diagnosed younger than anyone else I've ever met. That probably informs my views here, where there was no revelation, no sudden explanation for all these things. None of it was new information at any point, so it's mostly just been "here's why you have to put up with this crap!"

@ZombieBrideXD: But if losing it wouldn't change who you are, is it really a part of you? Or is it just something you have?

I do see autism as a large part of my core identity. It impacts everything that makes me who I am: my interests stem from autistic obsession, my comfort with, and love of facts, details and learning are the result of an autistic need for precision and clear expectations in life. The activities I enjoy and dislike are directly influenced by my sensory problems, my social deficits have shaped the way I interact and engage with people, and thanks to my overall neurological makeup, I will always have a worldview that is skewed by autism. Everything I do, understand, learn, interpret, and experience in this world will be done, understood, learned, interpreted and experienced through the lens of autism.

Autism is not like epilepsy, in which you are a perfectly normal human being, save for in a few sporadic instances in which you're not. Like it or not, autism impacts us every day, in practically everything we do, and as such, I have a difficult time seeing how some people are able to see it as just a small part of them, or, as many NTs who use person-first language like to attest, separate from them entirely.