you have a disability: congratulations?

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i see this every time someone gets diagnosed and announces it online. is so strange. When most children are diagnosed parents describe it as “a slap in the face” which im really not sure how to interpret but i assume they mean that the news is sudden and stings. but when people get diagnosed here, its “congratulations”

i know how it feels to live a large portion of your life with struggles and never know why and then hearing “ you struggle because of this” is very relieving. my first initial reaction to my diagnoses was “.....that explains a lot...” and the first time i read about ASD it was like reading a book about myself. but at the same time, it was an eye opener and a lot of work was to be done; social skills, independence skills, overcoming meltdowns and knowing that i will have these problems for the rest of my life and i will always be working harder than others around me was kind of heart breaking, i know i CAN do things but it will always be like riding a bike with flat tires in a motorcycle race...

like do people with other disabilities receive a “congratulations” like downs syndrome, intellectual disabilities, hearing loss, blindness? Should a person diagnosed with ailments receive a congratulations.

Another thing i saw was a lack of praise for a diagnoses other than ASD, i saw several times when i psychologist did not suggest autism and a few people on here saying that it was bad to be diagnosed with something else or even not need a diagnoses. Although i am aware some psychologists out there do not have very sound reasons for not diagnosing autism like “well you can talk so your not autistic” and im not talking about that right now.

not hating on the praise but it was always kinda a strange thing to me.

Well in my case learning that I had ASD was empowering. Before my diagnosis I felt like I was traveling somewhere without a map, or trying to put something together without instructions. I knew that I was struggling in life but I didn't know why, and it frustrated me that other people seemed to be able to easily do things that I couldn't. But once I was diagnosed, everything suddenly made sense. I realized that I had been struggling so much because I was trying to live my life as an NT when I wasn't an NT. So I was able to start making the changes I needed to build a better life for myself.

Because of this, I can understand why people would congratulate others on their diagnosis. I don’t think they’re congratulating the fact that they have autism but rather the knowledge they gained from their diagnosis.

I got my diagnosis when I was quite young. Nobody congratulated me LOL.

In a very loose sense, getting diagnosed with autism as an adult could be like being diagnosed with something like pneumonia when you've been coughing and having trouble breathing for days, and not getting any better because you don't know what's going on.

Now, you've been diagnosed with pneumonia, and there are established treatments for it, and you WILL get better (unless you are immuno-suppressed or have other chronic conditions). It's not lung cancer!

Now things make sense. You've found a CAUSE for this coughing and shortness of breath! And there's a REMEDY!

In this case, I would feel congratulations would be in order.

I agree that it's not a 'Congratulations, yay, you've got autism!"

It's a "Congratulations on the diagnosis!"

A diagnosis is something that's potentially going to make life significantly easier for someone with autism. To me, them receiving their ticket to improved happiness is certainly something to be celebrated.

You have to view this not as a diagnosis coming from nothing, which I doubt would be celebrated, but a diagnosis that comes from an existing disability. The autism is already there, so nobody's celebrating the fact that you've got it - the diagnosis is the new bit, and that's the bit that's worth a 'congratulations'.

I think if people are upset about receiving a different diagnosis, or not receiving one at all, it's because:

- If you don't receive one at all then you're still left the fact that you believe that autism explains who you are, but now your doors to receiving support have been closed. And they may have been closed for completely valid reasons, but that doesn't make it any easier. People wouldn't be seeking diagnosis if they didn't need something from it, so doors closed for whatever reason are going to be tough.

- If you get diagnosed with something different, that may be hard because you've discounted that particular thing in the past or haven't even considered it before. That's a huge mental adjustment. Support may still be available, but getting to the point of finding it will take time and a change of viewpoint, which of course will be difficult. Or, alternatively, people might feel that the diagnosis doesn't help them fully. I believe that I have some social anxiety, which I think is caused by a multitude of factors including autism, but if I just received a 'social anxiety' diagnosis, whilst I could find help and support for that, there's a lot that it wouldn't explain or provide support for. It covers only one aspect. A diagnosis for a condition that you believe only explains part of your 'problem' leaves you, again, out on your own with the rest of it.

I suspect the positive attitude about an autism diagnosis is due to a number of things. It's not so much "congratulations for being disabled", it's more "congratulations on finally learning why you have been struggling with certain things", although this is not the only reason because like ZombieBrideXD said: not every disability is treated like this. If you announced your diagnosis to some other group or community then you would be more likely to get a response like "I'm sorry to hear that", although that also doesn't explain why it's different here.

I believe it happens because most of us here have been diagnosed and we know what it's like to finally have an explanation for why we have struggled for years on some things that come easily to others and to finally learn why you have always felt so different from everyone else. It's a confirmation that you finally fit in somewhere and it means you can start forgiving yourself for the things you have failed at all your life. That's not to say that coming to terms with the things that you can't do as well as everyone else and that you may never get better at is not a bit depressing at times, but that's better then thinking that you fail at those things because you are stupid or inadequate.

Just another way autism is treated differently then most conditions.

My policy is if the person saying they just got diagnosed and is happy about it I congratulate them because I understand the the great sense of relief and how helpful for ones self esteem finding out what you thought for your whole life were fundamental charactor flaws are not can be. I used to always congratulate people. But I have come to understand that some view getting diagnosed as extinguishing all hope of bieng normal. If I am not sure the person is happy about it I just say something along the lines of I hope the diasgnoses will be helpful.

You answered your own question in your original post ZombieBride: quote: "That explains it."

You even said you get how someone might feel relief to be told an explanation in the form of receiving this diagnosis and that your yourself felt that relief.

So if you get that, why are you asking this question? You yourself already know it's not really a congratulations like something wonderful but more an acknowledgment that the person who has been struggling finally has an official answer.

And you know very well that this form of "congratulations" is by any other name the only way for someone sympathetic to acknowledge to a newly diagnosed adult -- because it's usually an adult who has had a long life of not knowing -- that they are relieved for them that at least they can now try to figure things out with a reframing of their strengths and weaknesses.

It's nothing to do with "wanting" the diagnosis and everything to do with the torturous state of those genuinely on the spectrum but of the wrong generation, something you at your age are bigoted about.

Since you are regularly posting cynically about other people's diagnosis how is this post -- in which you already admit you know what it means -- anything but baiting and trolling?

I don't know ANYBODY who considers autism to be a "positive" diagnosis. It's not a "disease of the month," not by a longshot. There are no telethons for autism. It is not as tragic a disorder as muscular dystrophy.

Sometimes, autism manifests itself as a "difference,"; other times as a "disability."

It's not something to celebrate. The "celebration" lies in the knowledge that things make more sense when one has an idea of why they have to bungle through life.

Yep, this discussion and all like it have been had, and had again. Don't see the need to drag it out yet again.

For me it means "Congratulations, your prediction was correct".