Worrying anger issues

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Not sure whether I should post this here exactly but anyway...

I have, and always have had, a tendency to get angry with myself. In these circumstances I'll hit myself repeatedly in the head and tell myself "you're a worthless idiot and need to die". I've probably damaged my brain from so many blows to the head.

I really need to find a way to stop this altogether. It worries my family greatly, my significant other feels stressed because of it, it draws unwanted attention to me and it could impact my mental ability greatly if I don't stop. I scare myself sometimes with things I say to myself.

If anyone has or has had similar experiences they'd like to share, or thinks they know how to help, that'd be much appreciated.

I smash my head against walls and poles sometimes, especially when I'm late for something.

Yes, one has to find a more constructive way of channeling one's irritations.

It's become a near daily occurrence for me. I always feel light headed afterwards and it worries me.

I get angry with myself sometimes but I channel my anger everywhere EXCEPT myself. Pillows, bottles, etc.

I am exactly like you in this respect. In fact, I opened my account here just so I could reply.

Not half an hour ago I had such a meltdown over a stupid mishap. In extreme anger with myself, I bashed myself in the head several times, and repeatedly slapped my face. My ears are still ringing and my face still stings.

This is extremely hard for me to control, because I go from zero to ten in less than a few seconds. Like you, it's becoming much more common for me. It used to happen a few times a year, but lately it's been a few times a month, and sometimes a few times a week.

I've been trying to see a psychiatrist about this, but I've had enormous problems finding one who will treat someone with an autism diagnosis. I'm shocked by the lack of resources for adult autism in the Cincinnati area. I'm waiting for months so I can drive to Dayton to a psychiatrist who will see me.

You're absolutely right to try to stop it. I know it's scary. The worst thing for me is that it is so sudden that I can't use any techniques to calm myself, until after the violent episodes are over.

I do this much more rarely and less severely than you, but it's still a problem. (Like half an hour ago.) My therapist sometimes recommends wearing elastic bands round my wrists and snapping them when I feel like hurting myself. I haven't tried it yet, mainly because when I saw someone else do this once I freaked out a little... still, this guy I saw do it did seem to get some benefit from it. Don't know if he was autistic, but he was in the middle of a rage/self-loathing meltdown in the office, and it may have saved him from doing something worse.
I guess my therapist's point was, if you can't help from hurting yourself, find a way of hurting that does less harm. Not sure if you have to practice it first, or what!

I don't hit myself but I get angry with myself.

Ohhh! I did this a lot as a kid- my parents would always yell at me for it. I would be very stressed out and head-bang.
Actually the reason I like metal is because... you get to head bang so to speak and it's socially acceptable haha

I gave myself massive painful headaches from it though... so that was a good deterrent.... I don't like headaches AT ALL- I prefer other types of pain.
I still hit myself/self-harm occassionally, but I've toned down A LOT. And, I try to stim in other ways- it's definitely better to find different ways to cope.

I have the self-hate talk too.... I don't have an answer for that though... Idk, sometimes I write it down in a journal, and I would NEVER say that to other people, but I make myself a good target for some reason.
I find journaling helps though- if you can manage it. Can be on paper or on your personal computer too.