Autism confusion

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While I was on the Birthright Israel trip, I overheard another participant, X, from the other table by breakfast saying that he has High Functioning Autism. It just didn't make any sense to me. He behaves exactly like an NT person. Fast forward to this morning when we landed at the airport, I was acting very immature and X was angry at me for my immature behavior and I said to X "I have the right to act like this because i'm Autistic". X said "there are a lot of people on this trip that have Autism but you have the Autism that is immature". I said back to him "I have the real Autism" and X said to me "yes I see". My counselor said to me "I know a lot more Autistic people than you do and most of them are mature". My counselor also said to me "yes, X has Autism and that's how most Autistic people behave, unlike you who doesn't listen to rules". Now i'm very confused. Is this true that most Autistic people are like this?

Well Temple Grandin has very appropriate behavior and she has autism so I don't see her acting immature either. I guess every ASD person is different and if you have anxiety, you are going to act immature.

It's better to seek to be more mature,

than to think that your autism entitles you to remain immature.

However you are 19 so without knowing how immature you were acting I would say Screw them

Being autistic doesn't give you the "right" to act in a certain way, that's not the way to be thinking.

Well, anxiety doesn't make people immature. It can make them childlike, though. I have high anxiety, and although I do sometimes have my moments of selfishness or immaturity, it's because I don't fully comprehend why other people are acting the way they are due to my probable autism. Having autism is one thing. Knowing how to react to people who present you with the information that they have autism as well is another. In fact, any reaction to other people should be taken into account.

It's important to know that High Functioning Autism is a spectrum, so everyone is going to have different attributes, mentalities, strengths, and weaknesses. My atypical brain makes me very childlike, young, and usually dependent on others for understanding conversations, bill payments, insurance, and math. I'm like... 10 mentally, but without all the immature outbursts, whining and complaining, and temper.

Some people simply have different mental states with their autism. Also, there's no such thing as "the real autism." Autism is apparent in many, many people in different ways. It's most likely that your understanding or reactions are different when paired with other people. You react in a manner in which others would not.

Basically "real autism" is just someone who meets the criteria. Someone who is just diagnosed with it because the doctor didn't know what is wrong with them and nothing else fits so autism is the closest for a diagnoses they can get to that will give them the support they need, they don't have real autism. Only the diagnoses. But it doesn't make their problems any less real. And some get diagnosed with autism because of anxiety.

And aren't childlike and immature the same thing? If you are childlike, aren't you immature then?

Some people with autism are mature enough to get a good job, maintain a long term relationship, and buy a house. But, only some people with autism can do all that.

[quote=League_Girl]And aren't childlike and immature the same thing? If you are childlike, aren't you immature then?[/quote]

Not necessarily imo. Immaturity is deliberately taking a toddler's stance to acting like a brat who didn't get what they wanted or having tantrums out of selfishness. Immaturity is telling fart jokes when they're not appropriate or laughing at someone who's clearly having a rough time. Insensitivity or selfishness are usually signs of this stigmatic sense of immaturity. The other variation of immaturity is just not being old enough to understand something, which is where I think you see the relation, and I do agree with that, but there are two different descriptions. In the OP's case it sounded like the other autistic was considering him "young and bratty" rather than "too young to understand."

Being childlike is usually showing signs of child's innocence when it comes to mature discussions or situations. I always liken it to watching two grown people talking about finances, and the childlike person standing back holding a teddy bear and furrowing their brow in utter confusion of what they're talking about. I'm the type to cuddle with plush animals at night and get overly excited when I enter a candy store. I'm a child at heart, therefore making me childlike. Being childish is being juvenile or immature. Generally someone who is childlike relays more positive qualities of what a child possesses, rather than negative.

Some definitions for ya

im·ma·ture

/ˌiməˈCHo͝or,ˌiməˈto͝or/

adjective

adjective: immature

not fully developed.
many of the fish caught are immature

synonyms: unripe, not mature, premature, unmellowed; More
undeveloped, unformed, unfinished, raw, embryonic

an immature Stilton cheese

antonyms: ripe

having or showing emotional or intellectual development appropriate to someone younger.
his immature sense of humor

synonyms: childish, babyish, infantile, juvenile, adolescent, puerile, sophomoric, jejune, callow, green, tender, young, inexperienced, unsophisticated, unworldly, naive;

child·like

/ˈCHīl(d)līk/

adjective

adjective: childlike; adjective: child-like

(of an adult) having good qualities associated with a child.

she speaks with a childlike directness

synonyms: innocent, artless, guileless, unworldly, unsophisticated, naive, ingenuous, trusting, unsuspicious, unwary, credulous, gullible;

As said, it's a spectrum, and every with autism is different. And, also as said, autism doesn't give you the right to act immature. If you can't control your immaturity, then tell them, and they will hopefully understand. I personally have moments of great immaturity where I have this feeling that I'm doing something socially unacceptable, but can't quite comprehend it, and end up carrying through with the immature act anyway. I'd say I can't help it in those moments; perhaps that's what you are doing as well. It's always good to try to change your behavior for the better.

No autism doesn't give you a pass to be immature or rude. That's ignorant. Even a nonverbal autistic person knows this.

Autism is said to make people seem rude to but I always try and remember to use manners and be polite. I've been told I actually act too polite. If I say something rude it's because I didn't know what i said was rude or sometimes I don't even realize I said it at all.

Autism NEVER gives you a pass UNLESS it involves sensory issues. Behaviour and social skills must and should be taught, regardless of a autistic persons abilities.

That being said autism is still a disability and while we don't get a pass we should get more understanding and time, and we shouldn't abuse that.

During my monastic isolation of 19 months when I researched my own autism, I read somewhere (sorry, I can't cite a source) that two-thirds of autists are those who were or would have been diagnosed under the former Asperger Disorder criteria, while one-third were or would have been diagnosed under the former Kanner (or classic) autism. Even on WrongPlanet.net, I see the occasional divides between individuals from each original diagnosis. It seems that they exist within their own worlds as apart from each other as they are from neurotypical individuals.

But, we should ask ourselves if being autistic means finding a scapegoat for others to denigrate, thereby bolstering their self identity at the expense of others who aren't too far from themselves on the spectrum. The vast majority of autists share average or above-average intelligence. A disproportionate number of us have prodigious and/or savant skills. Then, why do some of us seek to emphasize the differences we share instead of the similarities?

I recognize that it is true that some autists behave in ways that others of all kinds of neurologies would describe as "immature." I get that. But, it is insulting and harmful to perpetuate even those simple realities, especially when we do so in the attempt to create and maintain a group of "others within a group of others."

Autists should especially want to avoid this behavior. I would avoid or shun those who behave in this way. Sure, answer their fair-minded questions, but ignore their attempts to trap others for their own sense of superiority.