Can you miss AS traits as a child but have them as an adult?
I don't mean ''can you be born NT but become Aspie as an adult?'', I mean those who were diagnosed as children can you not have a trait when you were a child but develop the trait as you've become an adult?
For example, when I was a child, a lot of unplanned things often popped up, and I never used to care. For example, I remember one Friday night after school, when I was about 11, my uncle phoned up and asked if I wanted to come swimming with him and his children, and I was really excited and was dancing up and down as I was telling my mum about the sudden unplanned event. But now if that happened, I would probably say no because I don't really like unplanned events, even if people have good intentions (it's nothing personal, it's just me).
Also, as a child I never minded hectic environments. Often all my family used to have a new year's eve party every year at my uncle's house, and I have quite a large family so there was a lot of people there (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), and there was a LOT of noise and activity going on, but I never seemed to mind. In fact I used to love it, and would spend the week between Christmas day and new years day feeling really excited of this social event. Now, I don't think I would go, whether it's a family one or not. Well, I probably would (being that my family are the only people I don't feel socially phobic talking to in a group), but I would start getting bored and want to go home early.
Does anyone else have Aspie traits now but what you didn't used to have as a child?
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Yes. I used to not mind my brothers having friends over and playing and when I got to high school, it started to bother me.
I loved going over to peoples houses because I play with their toys and it was lot of fun. Then I started to get bored.
I think reason why things change as we get older because our interests changes and hormones and the environment. People get louder as they get older and they take up more space so my brothers got to a point where they needed socialization with their friends so they were around all the time and it bothered me. Plus they were too loud for me and make messes. They stuck around longer and it bothered me. Then my parents get mad at me for having anxiety. They also wanted parties.
My interests changed so toys got boring and I get bored over at their homes. Now I keep myself busy with things I bring.
btbnnyr
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I feel like there were many things that didn't bother me as much as a kid, but bother me now. I feel like my sensory issues have definitely gotten worse over time, same with my overall anxiety levels. Socially I think I've improved, but I don't necessarily have friends to show for it. Unplanned events, too, seem to bother me more now than they used to. Nowadays, I'll be much more likely to resent getting taking away from what I want to do and more likely to want to stay home. I was such a passive kid, though, so it could just be that I'm finally starting to take more control over my life and figure out what I want to do.
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I think that it is possible that:
a) certain traits become more evident in certain environments and contexts and since both change over time, so do the traits become more or less apparent
b) our understanding change over time, self perception, change over time
I can add my experience:
I had extreme sensory problems as a child but now, they diminished. On the other hand, when I was little kid and interactions were relatively simple, I didn't perceive problems. More complex relationships became, more was I outsider. And still, only at around 16 I began to realise the problem might be in me as well.
I suppose another way of looking at it is what is socailly acceptable for a person depending on their age? Between 2-4 years old, hand flapping, tip toe walking and rocking might be seen as a 'sweet' trait. When that same person is 15 and doing the same it is not seen as sweet anymore but worrying. This was the case with me. My autistic traits were put down to shyness and were sometimes called sweet. Some of them diminished as I got older but with the onset of hormones mixed with lots of sudden changes in my life made a lot of the symptoms return. Suddenly in a 12 year old, it was really noticeable. I was also not violent at all in my childhood years, that came on around 12. Thankfully it seems to be lessening now that I am getting into early adulthood. Apparently that is more of a Tourettes/ADHD thing than AS though.
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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )
I think that foremost there are cognitive reasons for developing these traits. How one reacts to these might depend. I don't know the theory to speculate how symptoms are tied up with causes but my guess is that there could be a variety of coping mechanisms and it depends on childhood environment as well.
SyphonFilter
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Things like those which you've described have happened to me that didn't used to bother me. Like suddenly participating in unplanned activities, or a bunch of people doing fast-paced stuff around me. I wish I could go back to how I was as a kid when it comes to these sorts of things.
You can slip under the radar,
never get found out as being aspergers, or your parents could get told to send you for a SEN assesment, and then either brush it under the carpet, or be in complete denial. Till it comes back later on to really show you have Aspergers, then your parents have no choice but to just accept it.
I've suspected I've had it all my life,
I was never a normal child I was weird in a sense, I'd talk to myself till I was about 14, without realising.
I've been attracted to two men with Aspergers one being my abuser, which I don't put down to his Aspergers but perhaps other problems, one who is my friend and who I have always had a crush on, I've found relationships friendship or whatever tends to last longer when they are autistic. (Sorry about mis-spellings with my laptop won't let me change / auto corrects some words wrong)
I get obsessed about things easily, specially boys when i was younger,
games, fashion styles
I remember me an my mom would go down to the town every week just to get these pants that was in fashion when I was a teenager, in different styles.
I've always liked a routine too, theres many reasons I could go on and on,
Aspergers? ADHD ? Both I'm not sure but something is there, I thought as I got older things would get better, honestly I'm struggling more than ever I'm 24, unemployed due to high anxiety levels from my past experiences,
still get used very low confidence and hate looking people I don't know in the eye,
If you think you could be autistic, ADHD or something your best bet is to go to your GP and try to get them to listen, finally after 4 years I'm seeing a pysch and I'm hoping shes my ticket to finally finding out exactly what is going on in my brain.
Perhaps part of the difference is that being an adult allows you the freedom to choose whether or not to attend these events etc. I know when I was younger I was taken to places/events that made me uncomfortable but of course parents retain authority over you and the choice is effectively removed. As an adult I'm perhaps more aware of the reasons for my anxieties but now also have the choice to remove myself from that situation and/or mitigate the risks.
As I recall, I had a happy, well-socialized childhood, had friends, did well in school. But my family moved to a different state when I was about 11 and that is where my troubles began. I had a good deal more trouble socially and this led to my withdrawing pretty much from everything. In spite of that, I did well in school. But the social problems led to me having a pervasive low self-esteem.
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Tiankay
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Location: 3rd Street on the right, just after the event horizon...
Now thats what i call a necro-thread, i was fresh out of school when this thread was started lol
From all ive read up till now you cant be "completely normal" and become autistic later in life. Its still a developmental disorder at all. But you could be doing well enough and "fly under the radar" so nobody notices, and your problems get worse over time. Or they notice something is different with you but dont do anything about it.
For me - My teachers always told my mum something was off with me. They suspected ADD or ADHD. But my mom chose to completely ignore anything. From my expierence with her that could come from 2 main reasons. The first is me beeing the only survivor of 3 pregnancys she had. And i think even my pregnancy had some complications. For her i am special only for existing, she told me that before. It seems likely that she couldnt accept that her only survivor could be not normal. And the second one is she coming from a very bad upbringing and social status, she always seems to think that people are hostile towards her when they want to help or give advice to her. So when someone external told my mum her kid "had something" her mother instincts would kick in and she would enter full-defense mode.
And she actually liked many of my "quirks". My extreme obsession with computers? She was proud of it, thinking i would get very succesfull in the tech industry someday. Me not getting along with peers? She said "Its ok to be different, use it". Still dont fully understand this one. Beeing rigid? She is that way herself. Stimming? "Thats psychosomatic". Me not doing homework and many more problems? Didnt care, "Its your responsibility, not mine". And with her beeing a single mom & workoholic so either working or sleeping i was alone most of the time anyway and she missed alot of things...
Peace
TK
For me it's more like... I grew out of certain autistic traits, but others took their place.
I was a weird kid but as an only child with rather eccentric (possibly on the spectrum themselves) asocial parents a lot of my quirks were explained away or not seen as odd because they had nothing to compare it to. Sure, I was shy, had trouble fitting in, was very picky about my clothes and food, had trouble sleeping, but, plenty of kids have issues like that, right? Teachers expressing concern were full of it, because I was mostly obedient and got good grades, so who were they to criticize?
I grew into a weird teenager, but I was just seen as rebellious, awkward, and difficult. And, well, I still got good grades, I didn't do drugs (as far as they knew, anyway) so my parents were mostly cool with the strange crap I was into. And at least I had friends, even if they were all freaks and outcasts and I still sometimes got left out...
And then I became a weird adult, and all the demands that come with growing up (work, bills, adult relationships, etc.) were more than I could handle, and my old ways of coping - daydreams and alone time in my bedroom - were no longer acceptable. Also, adults aren't supposed to have 'temper tantrums.' They're not supposed to be self-absorbed, overly blunt, lacking motivation, so on and so forth. Obsessive interests, be they My Little Pony and dinosaurs or fairies and goth rock, may not be red-flag behaviors in kids and teens. But spending hours categorizing and researching things as as a 'hobby' is harder to justify as an adult.
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