Pats

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This is about touches or pats.

I think people think it is reassuring. Example is a pat on the back.
It mostly makes me cringe. I find one is OK More not so good.

Do you have any issues with it?

I don't like anyone touching me but my significant other. In any way except a hand shake and hugs for a very, very select group. Kissing in any way is unacceptable except with my so. Very uncomfortable.

Patting, while affectionate, usually bothers me. If I am not too meltdown-ish and at least understand the person a little I can take it as a friendly gesture. Otherwise it may actually feel a little demeaning.

My wife gave me a suggestion.
Return the pat and move away.
I will try it.

That's hard for me to do. I hate touching other people too.

This.

I'm okay with it if I see it coming (and if I want it).

I freak when I get touched from outside of my field of vision, and I know I've scared away some friendly people in the past when I did that.

Pretty much sums it up.

I hate affectionate physical contact from anyone other than my wife/kids.

But I also do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (think of it as wrestling where chokes are allowed), and I feel completely comfortable grappling with other people, men or women. The difference is that this physical contact is not a display of affection.

I can tolerate it but I don't like it.

A doctor did it to me yesterday and i reacted a bit strangely, as is normal with me. But as we were talking about a referral to someone who could diagnose, it's just possible she was deliberately gauging my reaction. In fairness, it is something that both male and female doctors do regularly as reassurance here. It seems local society thinks it is acceptable, and my rather unrational mind doesn't object to that at all, unlike perhaps my more instinctual reactions. In any case, I noticed that she caught my reaction - so it might actually strengthen my case for referral.

I'd hope so. When I do go see a specialist I'd like them to poke and pry me to get an accurate diagnosis.

I totally get this.

I think the thing I hate most in life is touching or being touched by others oh god... it's horrible to me

I only like it when it's my S.O. or like if say my dog/any dog really wants to lick my hands or rub up against me to be pet- then I'm like "Aww so cute!" but animals are totally fine to me, and I have a much higher tolerance for anything they do.

I hate 80% of all touch, I am better at giving it though. like "Oh, you need a hug- okay, I will give you a hug" if someone is sad for example.

People used to touch me ALLLLLL THE TIME as a kid- I feel like I was the local petting zoo or something (I was a kid, they could get away with it, and I was "a cute little girl" so they thought they could)- and I hated it, but I was scolded severely if I didn't shut up and take it. .... .... so I think I hate it about 10000xs more now. To the point that I hate it as much as I do now.

After a while I just started punching people (hard) for touching me. That worked well . They stopped touching me

Other than that I tell (explicitly in very angry overtones) people - don't touch me, don't pat me, don't do anything, just leave me alone. And this goes over well.
Honestly though, I think pats are preferable to hugs- I HATE HUGS

Also, in a work setting people give me a wide-berth (especially as a female) because they don't want to be accused of sexual harassment which is amazing for me- it means no contact. It's perfect, puts me at ease, and I'm MUCH LESS anxious/skiddish.

I can be tolerant of it sometimes though. Also, I like deep touch/pressure so massages are nice.

I really didn't like hugs as a kid. Or kisses. Or mostly any physical affection. I could "rough house" with other kids though.

I seem to remember reading that I sometimes had issues obeying the "hands to yourself" rule in kindergarten. Which is funny, because now I dislike touching other people even more than I dislike them touching me.

It's kind of a mix for me. Sometimes it's nice, but usually not. Unfortunately, people usually try to give a pat when I'm not feeling well, like having overload or something, and that is usually THE WORST time to try to touch me.

The biggest factors are 1) my physical/emotional state at the time, 2) who's doing it, and 3) whether or not I saw it coming. It's safe to say a pat on the back from someone I barely know, when I'm stressed out, without me seeing it coming, is almost certainly unappreciated. But I think even some NTs would feel the same!

It's interesting to see several of you say that "aggressive" touch (rough-housing etc.) is/was a relatively acceptable kind of touch to you, compared to other types. It's the same for me. My siblings and I pretend to poke/flick/punch each other all the time, it's practically a ritual in our house. The more fake punches, the better we're getting along. My mom had to give up scolding and just roll with it, since it's just fake fighting and everybody is clearly happy with it. Hugs? Almost never. Patting is okay but it usually has to be semi-aggressive too. I'm the only Aspie as far as we know, but we share a lot of traits in certain things.

Do any of you find that touch on certain areas is more tolerable than others? I handle touch on my shoulders way better than anywhere else.

I hate to be touched. Period. I don't know why people think it appropriate to touch another person's body at all without permission. It's mind boggling to me that someone would think it ok to just randomly touch another in the course of conversation, for example. I'd never do this to anyone else.

I didn´t like it at all as a baby and toddler. I actually screamed and kicked, when my parents caught me and hugged me once in a while.
Now I´m very ok with it. It´s actually nice.