Coping with change

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Even the slightest change i cannot cope with. When something changes i just cannot process it and i just meltdown that then escalates to a shutdown and lats 30mins+ and i just don't know what to do
My mother suggested making a schedule and making things more structured, which is great but change will happen and cannot be avoided

I am going to see a doctor with my mother next week and i am wondering if i should bring up that i think i need calming meds?
I have been thinking about getting a service dog and i think that the dog could help me but my mom isn't too "on board" with this idea.

I am just at my wits' ends and i just cannot deal with it.

I have the same problem; change massively stresses me out and can make me melt down or shut down or panic. I have a keyring of cards that I made and laminated with packing tape which remind me of things I can do when I get angry, overwhelmed, etc. I recently added a new one about dealing with change, and it has things like, "I can think of one good outcome of the change", "I can think of all the things that will stay the same" and "I can take five minutes to hyperfocus on a calming object" (honing my attention in on tiny details of a small piece of the environment helps me separate from my surroundings and relax). Maybe you would find such cards helpful.

You also mentioned drugs and a service dog. I'm on 50mg of Zoloft a day, and it helped tremendously with my anxiety; I used to get random anxious spells out of nowhere for no reason all the time, but I've been on my meds for about a year now, and those have almost completely disappeared. I would support the drug idea if you can find one that works for you. As for the service dog, I'm looking at applying for one now as well, because I'll be moving out on my own for the first time next year, and I'll need all the support I can get. I would do a lot of research into this before making the jump though; it's a lot more complicated than I had initially thought it would be. Good luck!