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Shadowcat
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09 May 2007, 8:32 pm

Why are teenagers (Young People) told to listen to their Parents when they have a Disability even though they are high functioning and can learn from their mistakes?

A lot of Young People who do not have disabilites need to be told to listen to their parents and aren't

Is this Normal or be littling behavior?



Shale
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09 May 2007, 8:59 pm

Depends on the parents. Both of mine beat it into me pretty well (and my sisters and I are all NT). Most of my friends however...can get away with murder.

I'd hazard a guess a child with a diagnosis is opened up to the school of thought that they're less capable or some silly sh!t like that. Most are, as you said, perfectly capable from learning from their mistakes and making perfectly intelligent steps in their lives. Diagnosis syndrome anyone?



newaspie
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09 May 2007, 9:03 pm

I think most kids in general are told to listen to their parents.



Aspie1
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09 May 2007, 9:35 pm

Simply put, parents have the power and they know it. So, purely by human nature, they enjoy using that power. So sometimes, they tell the kids to listen to them, even in situation where the kid is better off learning from his/her own mistakes.



SteveK
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09 May 2007, 9:52 pm

You know, I thought about something on the periphery of this this morning! When I was little, and even somewhat into junior high, I was OUTSPOKEN! If I had an idea, someone was wrong, etc... I made it known. I would simply not eat if things strayed too far from my comfort zone.

NOW I am VERY introverted. I get a lot of stress because I end up trying to implement substandard plans, and even ones I KNOW won't work. The State of New York came up with the one and only I said was "DOOMED TO FAILURE"! But I couldn't tell THEM that, OH NO! I told everyone else! And, obviously, I correct people very infrequently.

I think I just REALLY over compensated. I ENVY those that kept that old personality and still seem to hold a job and have relationships. WOW!

Steve



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09 May 2007, 10:38 pm

ugh, I worry about doing this to my son EVERY DAY. Every time he gets in trouble and I can't tell if it's just because he simply didn't hear me or if he's deliberately ignoring me, I wind up letting him off the punishment because he really might not have heard me :(

It's definitely not good for him or for me because after a while of that happening, it gets really frustrating to figure out, and by then he isn't listening to me at all either way.

He's not a bad kid or anything, he has behavior probs in school, but I think a lot of the time he's acting out, even at home, it's because he's bored out of his mind. I can't wait until the summer when I can take him to the park more often and stuff :) It does get frustrating though when the teacher has conferences with me and tells me I need to talk with him... I'm like, I talk to him all the time-how's that gonna change how he acts in school if I'm not there?

Anyway, back to the point, I see it a lot and live with it-if anyone "gets" this whole thing and can give suggestions, lol, I'm more than open to them.



newaspie
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10 May 2007, 8:37 am

SteveK::

Interesting, because I've been the exact opposite. I used to be very quiet, partly because I was confused by other kids and partly because I was just so lost in my own world.. But I was also very afraid to speak up and very afraid of making anyone upset or angry. I tried very hard to do whatever it took, NOT to to that.

Now that I'm older, I can talk to anyone and say just about anything to anyone as far as how I feel as I don't seem to have the same fears of making others angry that I did, but actually I only succeeded in going from quiet weirdo to pissing everyone off.. At first I couldn't understand it all, as I thought I was learning to stand up for myself as well as learning to be more outgoing..

I'm sure there's got to be a comfortable middle.. but for me I either say nothing at all or it comes out as absolute truth, and I'll always say exactly what I think or how I feel completely honestly, all the good, bad, and ugly... I often don't think of the implications either of what I'm saying as it comes out without being fully processed first, and it often gets me in trouble. I sometimes wish I could go back to being a bit more shy and NOT expressing everything I think.

NTs seem able to constantly revise and shift their stories and opinions around to fit each situation or person, but I am completely uncapable of this and am also frustrated at their doing so as it seems so manipulative and dishonest..

Why couldn't EVERYONE just say what they mean and mean what they say!?!?!?!?

Oh well. maybe I make people angry but at least I am honest and true to myself.



Fraya
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10 May 2007, 2:29 pm

nobodyzdream wrote:
Every time he gets in trouble and I can't tell if it's just because he simply didn't hear me or if he's deliberately ignoring me, I wind up letting him off the punishment because he really might not have heard me


Or it might be that he just doesn't know how to respond.

If someone is yelling at me I listen to them but if I don't know what to say I just sit there and stare at them which just makes them more angry its a vicious cycle :P