Noticing "Things" Instead of "People"

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This came up in another thread, but I decided I wanted to make a separate topic of it.

It is often said that in social situations, people on the spectrum tend to notice things rather than people. For instance, if I go to a social gathering, the first thing I usually tend to look at is what food is being served, what wine is available, etc. I even mentally plan what I´m going to eat or drink before I do anything else. Other things I look at right away, if I´m in the right environment, are what books people have in their bookcase, or what dvds they own.

If I think back on an event from 3 years ago, I can remember exactly what foods were being served, but the people and conversations are often a blur...

Does anyone have similar stories? What things do you notice most?

Things.

How someone has their home decorated, the food at the table, what they read or collect, what type of car that they drive, etc.

Cars are one of my obsessions I guess, I have associated certain aquaintances over the years by the cars that they drive...I can hear someone's name 15 times and forget it, but I can memorize the year, color & model of the car that they drive.

I tend to notice books, food, instruments (bluegrass music is my obsession so I am always looking for fiddles, banjos, guitars, mandolins, etc), and textures (carpet, walls, etc).

People...I can't tell you much about anyone I meet. I often don't remember their features or personalities.

I tend to notice their pets, books, instruments, electronics, computer, music, movies, games, art, furniture, clothing...

Same here.

First, I notice every little thing made of metal...

And yes, music, DVDs and books of others do interest me.

There is a speck of dust on my computer screen.
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Sorry? What was the question again?

I notice what people have and what is there. When I went to my aspie gathering, I saw people there but I was more focused on the objects Roger Meyers had on the table for us and then I saw the food and saw I wasn't up for eating so I had a few grapes and celery sticks and carrots.

What's interesting is I've seen sex studies that used this exact comparison to differentiate between male and female brains- they found that men focus more on things, while females focus more on people and relationships.

BBC did a documentary that included this study, and they had both men and women participants ride to the center in a cab with a set-up cabbie (actor) who would have the same conversation with each participant- he talked about details of the London financial district, and then about his marriage issues. All the men remembered the details about the cab itself and the buildings and economic facts, and didn't recall anything about his marriage. Whereas the women were the exact opposite.

I notice people, but I do like to look at what books a person owns if I am in their house.
My mum has commented how I remember 'things' and not everyday life - so I can remember bits of books and everything I need to do my exams, but I don't remember what I did earlier this week.

ford_prefects_kid - that's interesting. I'd probably be typically female in that test.

I certainly look at things first, I remember details of where things are, what type of TV was in the house etc. a lot more than I remember what people are wearing etc.

things are much more important to me than people. much more. they take precedence over them in my mind. i do have some very very special people in my life however.

if my family moves any of my things i flip out. even just touching my clothes and picking them up off the floor is like a violation in a weird way. it causes physical distress and even shouting

i also anthropomorphise a great deal.

i have small objects from childhood that are really my best friends. i still have the teddy i was given when born. these things have been ridiculed and disrupted by my son's dad on many occasions. the small obejcts are around but have been disrupted in my house and even thinking about this causes me to squirm physically. other around me do not understand that things are like people for me, and i have relationships with them.

moving my stacks of paper next to the computer is also excruciating. or coming into my studio and snooping around is so excruciating and awful for me. touching the objects in there is horrifying. only my son is allowed in there uninvited.

i need to see my objects and my things and leave things around and visible all the time. i think most people call this clutter. Clutter can actually operate as a visual diary for me. if i leave a painting out and put it in the lounge room, i remember all the business side of things i have to do in relation to it --- archiving, transporting, which gallery it has to go to et etc. if it is put aside or moved, my whole system is thrown out and i get really agitated and have meltdowns. if an object is put away - then the chances are that i will have no visual cue and the stuff i need to do in association with that obejct will be forgotten completely.

you may be surmising that this has caused a fair bit of tension in my home. oh well. i am what i am.




i also have a tendency to view people as strance objects.

The first thing I do when I go into someone's home or office for the first time is go over to the window to see what kind of view they have!

Then, I'll look at their bookshelves.

My mom used to comment 'teasingly' that whenever I came to visit I always noticed IMMEDIATELY what was changed around or moved (things). It's true.....I like to arrange things aesthetically.....I am an artist, and when I had my art walls at the gallery every week I'd go in and 'change them', that is arrange them aesthetically to be balanced and 'just right' to my eye. People would want to socialize with me, but I found that more of a nusance than anything, though a part of me learned a lot from that socialization, I admit. The owner of that gallery, that I was in for four years ALWAYS took advantage of me and treated me differently than she treated her other artists (a lot less fair, less respectful, more manipulating)....but she DID NOT! understand me, and I think that drove her crazy.

I am much more observant of things around than I am of changes people make to their person, such as hairstyle, clothes, weight loss,..... etc. I don't notice what people are wearing unless I HYPERFOCUS on their clothes. Alot of time I couldn't tell you what a person had on, the color of their hair, or even if they wore glasses. I might see the color though, if it struck me. Or if something is 'shiny'....then I might notice it.......I like to rearrange things a lot, because the decorative relationships between things interests me.......I am very good at designing store window fronts, for instance.

But as for social hierarchies.....I don't respect them like most people do, and they grate on my nervous system. Part of this stems from my sense of 'justice'. As an example....I don't think the 'boss' or 'mayor' or 'director' or 'leader' or 'rich person' is automatically superior to others. I don't support that ideology.

This is me as well...

Whenever I went into a professor's office, when I went to talk to them, the first thing I did was look at their bookcases, their desk, whether they were using a computer, the pictures on the wall, etc. etc. etc.


I still can't remember the color of my professor's eyes, nor the color of their hair, but I can remember the type of seat I would sit on when talking to them. I remember the chairwoman's office: it had a lot of wide open spaces. Then, I remember other offices as well, but not the people sitting in them.

It took me ages to recognize what color my ex's eyes were. :-p
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But I can remember the black-and-blue shirt she wore, with a flame on it, because to me it looked like a tree :-p

I think I notice things more.

There is one exception to that. I do tend to notice physical characteristics in people that suggest that they are related to each other. For instance, if I'm sitting at a coffee shop or something, and two women walk by, I often notice if they have the same kind of bone structure and walk, and guess that they might be mother and daughter, or sisters. Even if they don't resemble each other in the obvious ways, like one is blonde and fat and the other is brunette and thin, I still can tell when they are related. It's not something I think of a lot, or seek out, but it is something that kind of jumps out at me. But, in a way, this is noticing people as objects, rather than in a social way.