DancingCorpse wrote:
I exist beneath a thick layer of ice most of the time, but that is not what is present beneath, it's 'accessing' it and 'owning' it that can get me frustrated these days. Underneath I am always in bloom and unfurling my various tendrils of emotional foliage dark and light buds attached to the same stalks, I have to unthaw to explore my internal tide and see how I am feeling about a particular tangent in a certain period, I go through weeks and weeks of churning thought until I understand how I feel about something to an insane depth and degree, I have to dive down every inch of my feelings and experiences to feel peaceful in the clarity.
That's quite ironic but a radical change cause I used to numb absolutely everything up and exist as a hollowed out robot until I was in my late teens and it took some very intense life experiences and emotional demands to crack that hardened barrier open and I feel I am quite self aware and extremely disciplined today. Doing a lot of psychological work over the last five years at different points of my 'awakening' certainly taught me how to identify feelings, be very straight and transparent, accept strong winds as long as you learn from it and don't get blown into a whirlwind losing the core.
You Aspie men are complicated.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.