Birthday disaster

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I have had a roller coaster of emotions regarding my birthday which is in two weeks, at first I was dreading turning twenty, really did not want to get older because the older I get the more I feel distanced from my friends and peers, the more I feel like my brain is out to destroy my life by being so damaged. It's not as though I am physically disabled (not wheelchair bound anyway) but I feel my lack of social skills and such makes me unable to have the freedom and be the adult I want to be.
I became more positive about my birthday once I eventually plucked up the courage to ask for a snake, something I have wanted for a long time and know how to care for through my animal care qualifications. I was told no. And was devastated. After two days of tears and being very down I finally
Managed to get a reason.
My dad finds snakes horrible slimy (even though they aren't!) things and he's a bit scared of them. My mum suggested the tortoise I had talked about the week before. The tortoise belonged in my friend's family run animal rescue centre. I got in contact with my friend tonight after almost having my parents on board, but unfortunately her mum has decided to keep the tortoise.
My mum and Dad, understandably, aren't going to pay £200 for a ship bought young tortoise and it's equipment. So I am currently left with no birthday present.
This is worrying me on one level and upsetting me on another. I am desperate for a pet that I can keep in my room, that would be solely mine and that I would make the decisions for. I think this has sprung from my sister being pregnant. Yes I am thrilled to be an aunty and will adore the baby but I feel a bit worried about how I might react to not being able to make any decisions, for it being my sisters baby and her word being the last. This is why I was hoping for a pet of my own. I already have a cat but he doesn't come into my room very much and he is his own person. I want something to take care of.
Then there is my worry. I am very bad at hiding disappointment, my brain doesn't 'get' it and I find it hard to deal with. Therefore I'm concerned that the surprise birthday present my parents will now give me will be a disappointment. Currently I'm pretty certain that anything not alive would be a disappointment.
I am scared of upsetting my
Parents by seeming ungrateful but I can't keep suggesting animals that
I'd like and I can't think of any other animal they would allow me to have. I'm really worried about this, and tried to express it by saying I didn't want anything else for my birthday but I think that just sounded like I was sulking. I don't know what to do about the whole situation. I am currently also suffering from depression and the idea of having an animal to keep as my own was making me excited for the first time in a long time, now that I am unlikely to get one I feel totally energy less and down.

hmm, have you thought that them saying no might be a ruse? my parents did that to me once, i really wanted this toy for christmas when i was little, my parents kept saying no, then on christmas, there it was. ( i was thrilled all the more).

don't want to get you excited for that over nothing though, so just bear in mind that that might not be true, and might just be a thing my parents like to do.

im not good at hiding disappointment either, as people say, i have "no filter" over what i say which i did do one time after christmas, i admitted to being disappointed (im not really disappointed that often, im a practical person so i usually ask for really realistic and budgeted things) and i still feel bad about it to this day. to be honest i think the trick is to go into it not expecting anything, then theres no disappointment (as weirdly depressing as that sounds). it sort of just blanks my mind of being hyped for something that i don't get.

am i being helpful here or just rambling weirdness? i cant tell but i hope it helps at least a little

Does your friend's family's rescue center have any other animals that might be suitable, now that they decided they're keeping the tortoise? Perhaps there is another animal there that you could re-home.

Have you thought about maybe a pair of birds, like budgies/parakeets? They live happiest in pairs though not two males, usually two females if you don't want a male and female having young.

There is also: hamster, guinea pig, gerbil, rats and mice. All of those could be housed in your room in the proper set-up.

PixieXW, the WP rules do not allow for cross posting. You can only start one thread with the same content.