Please Don't Compare Your Autistic Child To Other Autists

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A while ago I was told by my mom that several people in her autism parent Facebook group see me as an inspiration and hope their child will achieve the functioning level I have.
That made me deeply uncomfortable, because I was not happy even though I appeared "normal." It was like acting in a play every day where I wasn't given my lines and everyone in the audience was just waiting, tomatoes ready, for me to slip up. The "success" my parents "achieved" was caused by abuse, because they compared me to neurotypical kids and wished I was more like them. Those autism parents never saw me graduate high school and go to college, where I openly stim, avoid eye contact, have bad posture and odd facial expressions, and still manage to have friends, a job, and decent grades. But I still feel wrong and broken because of what has been drilled into my head by therapists, teachers, peers, and family. And I felt guilty for a long time, because I started reading at 18 months and the children of these parents might still be learning how to speak. I felt like I had an unfair advantage and I had no right to complain about any of my issues. I bottled things up until I went past the point of meltdown and into a mental breakdown.
Please don't compare your kids to other people. It hurts you, your child, and the person you are using as a "model."

I feel the same way. I've been a 'model' myself.
Except I'm not pretending to be normal nor deprived/abused in some way. Even so, I'm not satisfied.
Granted, thanks to a certain cultural loophole. Unless they're from a darker and ignorant side of said culture...

Parents had to realize each autistics have their own kind of growth and paths.
I'm the kind who didn't have much needs to begin with. All I can say to them it's possible to attain my 'level' of functioning with a lot of help, patience, and MORE time, but not guaranteed.
Half of my hints and references came from this forum.
Still, it's a huge gamble.
Even if it's my only means of helping others from the spectrum from where I live. And I don't do this online.

I have to warn parents who might end up like the OP and the like. Sorry about that.
They're aware of bullying and social stigmas. But NOT about the possibilities of being caged by anxiety at late childhood/teenage/adult years, certain coping mechanisms, and several issues they might missed that could cause long term issues no matter the 'functioning level'.

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Reminds me of this post:

https://unstrangemind.wordpress.com/2013/01/27/no-you-dont/

People look at how we're 'functioning', and don't see the pain and struggles underneath. High functioning means your needs get ignored, low functioning means your strengths get ignored.

I can relate, OP. Parents trying to treat their autistic children the way mine treated me is NOT a good idea. First of all, I grew up in a military house hold, and didn't even know what Autism was until my navy career evaporated (general under honorable condition discharge). Until then, I was diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder (because I thought, and still think, most NTs are idiots who shouldn't be listened to), and maybe some depression. So, my Father pushed discipline on me, sent me to a military school called the Mountaineer Challenge Academy, and didn't let up. Miraculously, this turned the coal of my mind into diamond and made me a bit more high-functioning. My experiences honed my intellect. Anyone else? I think they'd snap, try to kill themselves, or withdraw entirely. Bad stuff happens to Aspies when they can't handle the stress anymore.

I agree. Nobody should be comparing children in that way. I'd feel like crap if my parents were to compare me to an aspie who's never had a special interest. That would be enough to make me burn bridges.