Losing faith (not the religious kind)

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I mean faith in general. Anyone who knows me will know that I never put any stock into religions for varying reasons. Buddhism may be the exception, because none of them rape children or mow down innocent people with a truck.

I have:

- no faith in the future of the human species
- no faith in the justice system of my country (Australia) which has failed so many people more times than there are stars in the universe
- no faith in ever getting a long-term (or preferably life-long) partner, because I'm not into women and men seem to only want one thing and then discard you like a used nappy
- no faith in science ever conquering religion on a global scale and rightfully crushing the latter beneath the former's heel
- no faith in us ever getting off this cesspool of a planet anytime soon

I've also lost faith that things will get better, not just for me but for everyone who is deserving of such. The world is just going down the toilet; ISIL, Trump likely being president, religion in general, the cops-vs-blacks trouble in the US...and so much more. The negatives are drowning out the positives.

This sounds incredibly depressing I know, but that's the point. I feel as if I've been born into the wrong timeline, or even the wrong universe. Almost everything just seems incompatible. So much is wrong and there's no way to make it right. I lack the funds, I lack the means, and as fictional as this will sound, I lack the "power". All of this makes me sad. Makes me sometimes wish that I was never born, or at least not on this world.

I've thought about ending it before, several times. But I never did. Something seems to keep me going in this hell. I'm trapped until I eventually die.

Sorry. This is sad I know. But it's the truth. My truth. I feel like I don't belong. I feel alone. Without at least someone special to be mine for life, what is the point of life itself!

I don't really see some of this as negatives for example I live in the states and see it all as a positive, simply because I'm watch the worlds largest empire become unstable and start to collapse. I think it will just brake apart and good best for everyone, we're watching inefficient and currupt political systems collapsing. That doesn't mean humanity is were watching it evolve new and better systems are made possible by the collapse of the old ones. Also maybe you're just dating the wrong men. People that have had difficult lives tend to be insecure at some point in their lives. Sometime people that feel insecure will seek the approval of as*holes because their approval and love is more difficult to get and there for falsely perceived as being more valueable, it's quite common. I'm not sure it that applies to you but if it does it might help to be aware of it. On a related note it's also rare for strong people to have had an easy past.

Last edited by Brandon30 on 19 Jul 2016, 6:26 am, edited 2 times in total.

The Buddhists have the right idea - don't invest in future expectations because the future doesn't exist, and it never will.
No, you can't save the world, but you can say a kind word to someone and maybe save their life.

Can you or do you feel faith (or at least find inspiration) in the beauty of the world, in nature, in animals? The power and creativity of the natural world gives me a major source of hope, just contemplating a spider making an intricate beautifully designed web can inspire me.

What do you find hope or inspiration in experiencing?

I do like animals. They can be beautiful. I have a cat whom I adore, even though he can be an annoying fur-bag sometimes. It also hurts me how people can hurt animals like they do. Sometimes I'd like to go Mortal Kombat on such people!

Hope? I'm not sure right now. Something seems to be keeping me going, but that could just be in-built survival instinct.

All the kamikaze during WWII were indoctrinated in Buddhist philosophy before their missions, in order to evoke a kind of disassociation from their actions.

Lose all your faith! It's for the best.

I'm feeling somewhat better today. Some days I just feel like complete s**t and that I wish I was somewhere else. This is also why I game a fair bit: to get away from the hellish reality I live in.

I hope the fur-bag is giving you some lovely cuddles

The dogs and cats with whom I have shared life journeys have revived my heart and soul in moments of despair thousands and thousands of times. (I'm getting pretty old now). One orange cat keeps up the tradition now

I gave up caring for most people long ago. After almost 59 years on this rock, I no longer care.

I wish I had a dog (I never liked cats).My psychologist and psychiatrist agree, except 1) I can't afford a cat or a dog, and 2) that's the fastest way to be evicted around here (the landlord is the only one that will even bring his dog around here, since it's his property).

I wish that for you too. Perhaps it will come to pass.