Do you ever feel guilty about having a partner?

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Like their life would have been so much better if they'd never met you and found someone who didn't weigh them down with their issues?
I do.
My partner is wonderful and supportive and could have had anyone.
I feel guilty for always being a burden.

In your partner's eyes, you're probably way cool!

On WP you treat people with respect, compassion, and tactful humor. Your partner, I would bet, does not feel burdened by you, but on the contrary, feels supported and uplifted by you in ways you might not imagine. I have never felt that my wife would trade me or our son for NTs. Not for anything in the world.

I'm going to add this: The only guilt I've ever felt over having met and stayed together with my wife has been at those moments when I haven't been sure I could keep my promise to her that I wouldn't take my own life. But the fact that she was adamant that I make that promise reminds me that even if I am a burden to her, I'm a burden that she would do anything to keep on bearing.

i second that


great words. i haven't been on your side of the situation, but i have been on the other side. i wasn't as lucky as your wife when it came to my girlfriend's attitude, and i really respect and admire yours

sometimes my then-girlfriend would be aggressive with me trying to push me away "because i didn't deserve the suffering she would put me through". that was the hurtful part... if she wanted to break up for her own personal reasons, that would be fair. but i'm responsible for my own choices, and i knew from the start what issues she had. if i was with her, it was because it was a choice of mine that i had made and that i hadn't changed my mind about. so it felt very invalidating

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raleigh: seriously, i haven't been here very long at all, but i can already see it, you're like a positivity machine! it's readily apparent that you do have the talent to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome. i know you sure have your dark side, dark moments and so on like everyone else. but as long it's possible for a relationship to work out, your qualities will most definitely outshine your flaws. and in the end it's not even about what you can offer, but what your partner gains from you instead. your presence and existence itself may already be immensely more valuable than you can imagine

if someone is making you feel bad for it, don't let them. it's not right or acceptable. but if it's only coming from within, then rest assured: you are loved and valued, and you are making someone else feel loved and valued

Let's just say I may have been having a 'moment' when I posted the OP and I would be grateful if we could let this critical lapse in judgement slip off the edge of the map as expediently as possible.

*You guys are amazing, btw.

Not guilty.

My wife and I have always known I was hard to live with even if we didn't know why. I am incredibly grateful she was and is willing to stick with me though.

I feel guilty for wanting one.

Don't be. Everyone deserves someone. It took me until my early 30's to finally have a long term relationship. I went on to marry her.

Before that the longest romantic relationships I had were 2 to 3 weeks. They were pretty much just physical with no real emotional connections and there were very few, even of those.

Yes. My wife undeniably acts in a caring role for me. She was even advised to get a carers assessment but doesn't want one.

She does get frustrated sometimes - she says that at times its a bit like being a parent, you wouldn't trade in your kid but sometimes you'd like a break. Mostly she says she's happy with how things are though and that she likes my quirks. We've been together 4 years.