The best ways to disclose

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I've read a lot in aspie books about the dilemma of whether or not to to tell people, but I don't think there's enough sharing of the how to do this from aspies for aspies. I found a book 'disclosing the diagnosis' by Anna Tullemans. It's actually quite good, but of course, it's written for parents.
I'm not talking only about telling your boss, but anyone; friends, roommates etc.

When I told my current flatmates, I think I said "I have a thing called aspergers, that kid of makes me have certain quirks about my personality" and then I burst into tears.
I don't think that's a very good way to do it.

I just had my official diagnosis about a month ago. Today, I had lunch with two close friends and simply told them I have Aspergers. I, of course, broke down in tears---it's relief really--finally having a clear explanation for how my brain works. My friends were very kind and supportive. Moreover, they were interested in understanding how Aspergers is manifested in women.

I'm very careful who I tell.

I don't tell co-workers.

If I feel confident that a person has a decent understanding of Asperger's, knows people with Asperger's, etc., then I'm more inclined to disclose.

I'm not upset about being on the Spectrum, because I've known that I'm not a "normal" person since at least the age of 6-7. I made my peace with that fact a long time ago.

In fact, when I was 9, I used to go around telling people that I "used to be ret*d." I used to stare at the kids with various genetic disorders as they were getting off the school bus and going into their school. An adult told me to leave. I answered: "But I used to be ret*d."

I knew I talked very late; I thought I was able to talk because I had brain surgery.

I read one adult saying that when he decided to tell select people about it, he first gave a brief rundown of his history of difficulties and his testing. He said he did that because he had learned to manage his autism well enough by then, so that just coming right out saying he had autism might have been less believable. Plus also people got a little background on what his autism was like opposed to a Rain Man stereotype.

i haven't a clue, im not even sure when its appropriate, i guess its when it feels that it will add to the conversation or help things along, like telling my dad made us get along much better (we, when left with each other will literally argue about ANYTHING, but him knowing that im autistic allows him to be more sensitive and understand why his point may not be getting through)

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, as I've got my assessment in just under two weeks.

If I am diagnosed I'm thinking of sending messages to the people that I want to tell, along the lines of:

"I haven't mentioned this before, because it was important to me to have the formal diagnosis and to have come to terms with it myself, but I've been going through the diagnostic process and have been diagnosed as being autistic."

I think I will leave it there for family members that knew me when I was younger and much more 'odd', and for friends I'll continue by saying that I hope it won't change anything, but I just want them to be aware that if I ever do odd things then they aren't intentional, I am aware to some extent, and I hope that they'll understand.

My hope is that it won't change anything, and will simply allow me to feel that I'm being honest with people, but I worry that I'm being optimistic about that.

There's also a hope that, if I did get diagnosed, I would find it easier to bring it in early with people that I meet in future, rather than having to announce it to people that are already close friends...but I guess there is no good time to come out with 'by the way, I'm autistic'. I think, post-diagnosis (?), I will start wearing a bracelet that people might notice.

I think if they already have a (realistic) idea what autism is -if there's sombody else in the family who's autistic, then that could work. I think if you've recently been formally diagnosed, you don't need to explain why you never mentioned it before.

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My hope is that it won't change anything, and will simply allow me to feel that I'm being honest with people, but I worry that I'm being optimistic about that.
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I feel exactly the same way.