Coworker unaware his child is ASD. Should I tell him?

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My coworker and I work closely together and have been friends for about a year. We talk about pretty much everything but don't really have a close emotional relationship I wouldn't say... Regardless, he has talked about his kid a lot in the 1.5 years I've known him. His son is only 3.5 years old I believe, and it's clear to both him and his wife that the kid is not developing quite normally, but they don't seem to have any clue what really is going on. With all the things he has told me about his son, bells and whistles are going off everywhere in my head suggesting the kid is a high-functioning autistic. It's not just one or two things; it's the entire profile my coworker has given me in his stories and descriptions over the past year.

My dilemma is that I feel a bit uncomfortable suggesting that to him since no parent wants to hear their kid is autistic. I tried to plant the seed in his mind once by talking about autism, HFA, and how a lot of times kids aren't diagnosed until much later if their case is mild, etc, but it didn't appear that he was connecting any dots. His son will also be starting a daycare soon that specializes in working with kids who need special treatment (for ADHD, deafness, etc), so I would hope that someone there would pick up on the cues over the next 6 months and give my coworker the diagnosis, but I am skeptical about their level of expertise given they're all pretty young people (20s and early 30s), and I think most people here would agree someone with ASD can generally pick up on someone else's ASD.

Anyway, what do you think I should do? Mind my own business and let the professionals assess the kid over the next six months, or tell my coworker to help him get a quicker understanding of their kid and what to do? I'm leaning towards the latter, but it's a delicate situation...

Thoughts appreciated.

Don't tell, suggest.

You're not really in a position to diagnose this kid. Just say I wonder if it could be mild autism?

This father obviously cares about his son and wants the best for him. I agree that you should suggest. If you 'tell' ("Oh, by the way, your son is autistic") NTs will feel too directly confronted with bad news, and become defensive, So, just suggest "You know, I've been listening to everything you've told me about your son over the years, and I think it sounds like he could be autistic like me." Also explain that Autism isn't the end of the world. It isn't completely bad. He will probably be glad to know you care about his son, and relieved to have an idea of what was wrong while he was previously having difficulty working it out. He can then take the child to a psychologist and ask for their opinion, and start getting help for him and understanding him better. He won't blame you if your suggestion was wrong.

Does he know you are in the spectrum?
If so - mention that his son sounds like you when you were his age so it is possible he is also in the spectrum. It will be easier to swallow, knowing you are autistic and able to hold a job and conversation.

If he doesn't know about your case - either come out to him or wait the 6 months.

Actually getting the boy to that kind of daycare means the parents are concerned about him. And people there are probably qualified enough. HFA/AS is a new diagnosis co actually the younger the specialists are the easier they might pick it up because some older people never heard about autism with high IQ - noone ever taught them.

BTW. Someone with ASD can recognize ASD in others but can also see ASD traits where something else is going on. It's called confirmation bias.

I'd mention it to him and tell him I should know.

I don't see why someone would become defensive if you tell them that you think their son is autistic. Autism isn't a tragedy, and your coworker would probably want an explanation for why his son acts the way he does.