Anyone have learned behaviors they use in public?

Post Reply New Topic

I was just thinking about this. Like a lot of you, I've learned to kind of fake eye contact, try to do it, look away, look back, etc. But I realized I also probably do some other things that have become almost second nature to do.

Like at work I have this sort of quick, fake laugh I do...I just realized it's become sort of automatic. Whenever I hear something that I think is supposed to be amusing, I kind of give this "hmm hmm" laugh...I hope it doesn't sound fake, but recently I've caught myself doing it, and wondering if it's slightly weird sometimes.

I had another one, but I forgot it...
Oh, I kind of use "sorry" or "I'm sorry" a lot, sort of in response to anything that could be perceived as needing it...I probably use it too much, but I guess that's better than not enough.

There's probably lots more. What do you guys do?

I do that fake laugh thing too. I also have phrases I use a lot for when I don't really know what people mean or just don't know what to see. My eye contact sounds a bit like yours as well. I tend to look, look away, and look back. Maybe too fast though, I think my eyes move around too much.

I learned to do a fair number of these things. I don't think I can 'pass' as NT as well as I used to, but I'm pretty sure that I also don't care as much to do so. If I weren't disabled & still had to work (a lot of my disabilities are physical), I'm sure I'd make more of an effort!

Na…behaviour I exhibit would never be dubbed “normal”.

I look past people; when someone tries to sell me something when I walk past them I just point my index finger up in the air beside my head, I don’t know where I learnt to do this but it shuts them up. I nod and shake my head for “yes” and “no”, and use my fingers for numbers if asked.

I point to pictures at take-away food shops or wherever....

I learned how to fake laugh, and fake eye contact also. I found so many tricks to try to fit it in, its unbelievable, how fake I am sometimes haha.

i am still amazed how similar to me you all are (or the other way around)
instead of eye contact, i usually watch lips. though it doesn't replace the eye contact, of course. some people think i am shy or something. but since i know about the AS i control myself more.

The nose isn't such a bad place to look at, since it's close to the eyes people don't know you aren't looking there. I tend to do more "glances" to the eyes instead of gazing--- people at least know i did look at them. Alot of people seem to do that anyway, except for the hardcore Gazers--- these people can be creepy.

Gosh, almsot everything I do in public is emulation.

When I'm out, nearly everything I do is from watching other people, learning their behaviors and trying to emulate how other people do things. ow they say things. Look for all the minute clues when and how to socially execute a response. You know, looking for all the protocols about what to say and when. The timing.

So now I have all these preprogrammed repsonses I have learned. Preprogrammed little nuances that come second nature to everyone else.

I always do this fake smile or laugh, sometimes to the point where I can't stop. No one can pick on you if you don't take anything seriously. I've had people tell me I'm always happy, that they wish they could be,too. Then I think '' You have no idea I have asperger's''. It's fun to have people think I'm all put together.

I'll tend to look at eyeglass lenses-the glare off of them or the shape instead of the eyes. That way it looks like I'm looking at their eyes when I'm not really focusing on them. I probably look semi-dazed. If they don't wear glasses, I'll just stare at the ground or something, lol-a lot of people think I just have uber low self-esteem and that's why, but if they try to push my head up, I'll just drop it back down, I hate looking at people. I doubt I'd ever pass as an NT-I tend to raise my hand if there is something I want to say no matter where I'm at.

I do a lot of the "yep" "uh huh" smile and nod stuff, but am often screwed if someone asks if I'm listening, lol.

I rephrase things that people say to me in order to make it look like I'm not a cold bastard who doesn't care what they're talking about (thanks psych 101). Because everyone knows that unless you're in a wheelchair, there's nothing wrong with you.

I am pretty natural and comfortable at work, because I am working in an area of strength. The people are also very nice people. The only thing I needed to work on was to respond appropriately to the question "How are you?" and to make small talk. I find it pretty easy to talk about my pets, because everyone there has a pet of some kind.