Question About Burnouts To Adults With ASD

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Hoping older members could answer a few questions about burnouts.

1.How many have you had?
2.When was your first?
3.Did you know what was wrong with you while burning out?
3.Did you have regression like symptoms?
4.How long did it take to regain what you lost if you did lose something?
5.Can you pinpoint the reason for burnout?
6.Did you have any treatment for it?
7.Did suicide ever enter your mind?
8.Has having a burnout permantly changed you in any way?

I am interested in hearing about older members who were diagnosed late in life but anyone can answer.

Unless it's depression or some form of extreme stress, I think I have been 'burnt out' for the past couple of months.

I am cognitively lethargic, my brain is always foggy, and the majority of the time I withdraw from my surroundings. These symptoms never seem to subside and it's p***ing me off.

I hope I have the definition of "Autistic Burnout" correct, I did some research.

1.How many have you had?
At least four or five serious ones.

2.When was your first?
Probably in second grade. My father got really sick and was in the hospital and I was struggling with being bullied in school.

3.Did you know what was wrong with you while burning out?
Not at all, partially because I was so young, but looking back, I'm pretty sure it was a burnout.

3.Did you have regression like symptoms?
Yes, I was afraid to leave my mother and I couldn't stop throwing up and I was so scared of being alone that I wouldn't even use the restroom by myself and insisted on sleeping in my mom's bed. I wouldn't talk to anybody about my problems.

4.How long did it take to regain what you lost if you did lose something?
I'm not sure about the one in second grade, but I did have a burnout in 2015. I was getting harassed online and it led to me quitting the internet for a while and I quit my job at a grocery store because I would have panic attacks any time I was asked to run the cash register or do anything besides cutting fruit and vegetables (which was what I was hired to do and what I was good at). I left my first college too, nine credits away from earning my associate's degree. It took me about 5 months to find a new job (working at a frozen yogurt place) and I then burned out again because I found that job stressful and was actually robbed while working there and harassed daily by customers. They would call me fat and the R-word all the time. One actually attempt to slap me because they thought the yogurt was "overpriced". It lead to me cutting again and attempting suicide, so my mom insisted I quit. Three months later, I got a job at Kmart that is going pretty well. I get to fold clothes and make signs, which are both things I am good at. I'm back in school too, finishing up that degree.

5.Can you pinpoint the reason for burnout?
Yes, I can. It usually is pretty clear to me and my family why what is happening is happening.

6.Did you have any treatment for it?
Yes. In second grade, I began therapy and medication. I'm still in therapy every week and I still take my medication. I think it helps, I'm guessing I would be much worse off without it.

7.Did suicide ever enter your mind?
Yes, even in second grade. I'm not sure where I learned about suicide, but I was well aware of it and kept trying to walk out in front of moving vehicles. In 2015, I attempted several times, but fortunately was unsuccessful.

8.Has having a burnout permantly changed you in any way?
I personally think each burnout makes me stronger

Sorry to hear that. Hope things get better for you soon. P.S Twin Peaks rocks.

Thanks for your honesty TSO , your story makes me feel sad for you especially as you sound really articulate at least you do in writing ( I know RL can be a different story )

You're very welcome and thank you

Disclosure: I'm 27 so I don't know if I'm old enough, I also have not had an official diagnosis but I am fairly confident I have aspergers as it checks a lot of boxes in my life/personality/behavior.

1.How many have you had?
One (as far as I can tell)

2.When was your first?
It started last year and kind of rolled on into this year and it was what made me do some research which led to my questioning if I have aspergers.

3.Did you know what was wrong with you while burning out?
I really assumed I was just super depressed, but this depression was unlike others. So I wasn't aware of the burnout until after it peaked and learned more aspergers.

3.Did you have regression like symptoms?
I couldn't maintain the mask I had held up for so long. Personal hygiene went out the window, I lost all desire and patience for social interaction, and I stopped talking to my friends (not too many of those to begin with). I can't control my stimming anymore and do it all the time even at work (I'd rather not go into my stims as it is rather gross).

4.How long did it take to regain what you lost if you did lose something?
I still haven't regained my patience for social interaction and I feel disconnected from reality sometimes. Not sure if I can ever feel the same way again to be honest.

5.Can you pinpoint the reason for burnout?
The catalyst was a combo of my grandma passing away, taking on a huge freelance project in addition to my regular job, and a general mild depression. But the burnout really reached its worst point when I moved into a terrible apartment (dirty, tiny, and dark) with my boyfriend and his little brother. I realized I couldn't live with someone else who wasn't my boyfriend with all the noises the little brother makes, my extreme dislike of touching things someone else has touched, and dealing with the mess of two ADD men. On top of that one of my cats got really sick, hospitalized for a week. She came very close to dying. This cat means more to me than anything and to realize her mortality was just too much for me. It's hard to describe how much the cat situation messed with my head. I've held in a lot of feelings my whole life (mostly my anxiety) and it's culminated into this burnout.

6.Did you have any treatment for it?
Besides self-medicating with marijuana, no. I have stopped that self-destructive behavior as I was smoking so much I was loosing touch with reality and becoming irresponsible. I'm not comfortable talking to a professional but I'm trying to work through my aversion to talking about my mental problems with this forum.

7.Did suicide ever enter your mind?
Of course, but I know it would ruin my parents and boyfriend. Plus my cats need my special care in their old age. Suicide always enters my mind when I get depressed as well.

It's good to hear you are doing better, your new job sounds much less stressful than the previous one! Best of luck with school, with nine credits to go you're on the home stretch

You described my symptoms better than I could myself. It's like a burnout-hangover that doesn't go away

Thanks for sharing katnipp I hope you cat is well ( I love my cats ). Are you old enough ? I don't know really , what I want to know is if my numerous nervous breakdowns were actually autistic burnout. I am not convinced yet and thought similar aged people were more likely to have had similar episodes but i'm sure all burnouts are different.

Thank you, my cat is doing better

From what I've read on these forums what could be described as a nervous break down is actually a burnout. But it's hard to settle on one definition of a burnout since everyone experiences them differently.

What type of symptoms and after affects have you experienced (if you don't mind me asking)?

Awww thank you! And yes, it definitely is

Good to hear your cat is doing better.

I would find describing my symptoms almost impossible face to face but the anonymity of this forum is a blessing.

My symptoms started with social anxiety getting worse ( I was in work at the time ) , then what I could only call paranoid delusions or ideas of reference - I thought everyone wanted me dead and to commit suicide or at least that was what my mind was telling me , as days went by it began harder and harder to convince myself that it was just in my head , my GP gave me a short course of valium and told me to stay off work but I didn't want to let anyone down , the valium took the edge off my symptoms but in the end there were just too many coincidences for my mind to cope with so I attempted suicide.

I had short spell in the mental hospital but they said it was not the right place for me and would only make me worse. I became more introverted than I normally was and couldn't face seeing anyone , I couldn't leave the house , my eye contact became even worse than normal , I couldn't look anyone in the eye for months ( even my girlfriend ). I couldn't describe how I was feeling except from suicidal and that I thought I'd always felt this way.

I was very monosyllabic and and times couldn't speak ( I wanted too but couldn't ). I think my emotions have always been a little repressed but the breakdown caused an almost overload of emotions I couldn't even watch TV as sad things made me cry ( I can't even remember the last time I cried). Obviously I am in a different place now , my social anxiety is still bad but better than it was , eye contact is almost back to what it use to be ( just enough to fake that I don't have a problem with eye contact i think ) , emotions seem to have buried themselves again.

Wow sounds like you've been through a lot. I'm glad you're still here and working on recovering

I definitely understand how you felt during the burnout, its like being in a dark pit of nothingness. I'm the same way with repressing emotions. I wonder if this is a common thing that leads to burnouts? It seems with burnouts that a lot of anxiety and mental overload occurs then bam burnout. Are you getting help for the issues that led up to the burnout (beyond the valium from your GP)? I can't imagine how awful it is when your mind is having paranoid thoughts like you experienced.

It sounds like to me you had a burnout, but I'm not an expert and I'd be curious to see what other members think.

It does seem like a lot but not compared to most on this forum.
I am recieving help , this is my 3rd possibly 4th breakdown , all very similar although the first one when I was 19 was caused by LSD. I am currently being treated for Anxiety & Depression ( Valium is only usually given out for a few days in the UK due to addiction ) and have been given antipsychotics in the past for exactly what I'm suffering now. Every medication seems to do something for a short period of time then stops working , I'm not convinced it's helping me and it is doing more harm than good ( it may even be the reason why I stim ). My GF pointed out the similarities I share with AS sufferers so I am currently waiting for a diagnosis.

1.How many have you had?
I've had four burnouts in my lifetime. My first one happened when I was in Grade 11 in 1992. My second one happened in 1998 at the age of 23. My mum was trying to change me into a younger version of her. The third one happened in the Fall of 2009. I was hanging out with a frenemy whom I was very incompatible with. My fourth one happened this past January and it lasted until April the 28th when I finally told my mum something I kept hidden inside for the past 30 years.

2.When was your first?
My first burnout was in the opening months of 1992 when I was 17. I was thinking that I had no future for so long that I was actually starting to believe it.

3.Did you know what was wrong with you while burning out?
I knew what was happening to me during my most recent burnout. I felt very worn and torn because I was trying to hard to wear my family name for three decades. I was also taking Alive brand CLA vitamins. http://www.alivehealthcentre.ca/cla.html They started interacting with my Paxil and Risperidone. It was like I went off my psych pills even though I stayed on them.

4.Did you have regression like symptoms?
I became paranoid of every person that I didn't see eye to eye with, especially my mum and my manager at my job.

5.How long did it take to regain what you lost if you did lose something?
I've lost two special interests. London and England. I haven't gotten those back, but that doesn't really bother me. I've figured it was time for that to happen, anyways.

6.Can you pinpoint the reason for burnout?
It was the metabolism boosters I was taking at the time. http://www.alivehealthcentre.ca/cla.html My mum was also trying her best to discourage me from buying a German helmet and wearing it. My mum didn't want to accept me as I am during the opening months of this year and expressed her hatred for Germans in hope that I would be a lady and not wear a helmet. I bought 3 realistic looking helmets. A real one that I painted Schultz Helmet Blue a self-made one that's the same colour and a black one that I wear as a nightcap. I was also covering up my preference for Germany over Britain by sporting and flying the Union Jack as a way of wearing the family name which is a British one.

7.Did you have any treatment for it?
Nobody felt that I needed any counseling, so I was turned down by two local offices that offer counseling. I had to do it alone like I have been doing since the Year 2000. I chose Germany over my verbally abusive mum for two and a half months over the Summer months for my own mental health. My mum and I are getting along much better now.

8.Did suicide ever enter your mind?
Since I'm talking about my most recent breakdown, I'd have to say that it didn't because it goes against my beliefs.

9.Has having a burnout permantly changed you in any way?
It's changed me in a good way. I'm proud to be a Canadian and I have a love for Germany and German things because some early influences do to a couple we were neighbours with who'd come over most Saturday nights, and a friend of my dad's who's German. The last time I had that feeling were the months leading up to the 1984 Summer Olympics. This is a good thing. I think my special interests in London and England have taken a permanent vacation to England.