Why do NTs think people can hear them all the time?

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So I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend, it was dark outside and the curtains were closed but the window was open slightly. He started tickling me, and instead of laughing I intentionally made snorting noises like a pig. That made him laugh.

Then he said "shh, people outside will hear you." I felt annoyed (but didn't say), because A, at night there's no-one about walking, B, there's a busy road with noisy traffic roaring by so if there was anyone out there the noise of the traffic masks any other noise, C, we have a garden so nobody is anywhere near the open window anyway, and D, the funny noise I made was nowhere near loud enough, and wasn't exactly odd either.

Why do NTs think people can hear everything they do? Unless someone is going around listening near people's windows (kind of like stalking), or you are shouting loudly, or your window is right on a busy street, people can't really hear. People don't care. I thought an NT would know thar, and he's not the sort to be paranoid.

I'd understand if we were arguing loudly or something. But just making cute noises what isn't loud enough for anyone even in the next room to hear, I don't understand.

Sounds like self-consciousness to me. I've been there, and I'll keep your rational explanation in mind.

To be fair, that's not necessarily an NT thing. I feel the same.

I'll often tell my NT husband that people will hear him. He's a lot louder than he thinks he is.

Reminds me of an odd advice (from several NTs no less) to say 'Excuse me' whenever I sneeze, whether any people are present/nearby or not. I get it why if someone's nearby or present, but not when there isn't anyone around. I sneeze a LOT! Like at least minutes or hours per day and I HATE it.
May or may not include superstitions of saying 'Excuse me' on mounds or dark hallways. And any people presence aren't even involved. Or anything rational. Just for the sake of 'respect' towards the nonexistent.

I don't get the former, unless it has something to do with people with high hearing range or unnoticed presence or paranoia. But I might rather do the latter for some odd reason.

It's a mixed thing about what people calls 'polite' or 'considerate'.

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Normally I am very aware of other people, and I get paranoid a lot, thinking that people are watching me from their windows as I walk out. But I'm not so irrationally paranoid when I'm indoors and not doing anything noisy that might draw attention. I mean, I made a quiet snorting noise, so what? My boyfriend farts, burps and snores louder than that, and that I wouldn't want people outside to hear me do...even then I know nobody will hear. I mean it's your own home, you can't creep around whispering in your own home. Then you will have a serious problem.

I think I've been both the person someone admonishes about a thing like that, and also the one doing the admonishing to someone else.

I feel like it's just a general human thing, for someone to get all over self conscious about strangers overhearing something the person perceives to be a negative -- be it just something peculiar (in their eyes), or "too loud", or personal, or embarrassing, even if strangers can't actually hear it, or even if it's not really anything that negative, it's just the admonisher who feels that way.

So if your boyfriend perhaps felt embarrassed by the zaniness of the snorting because he didn't perceive it as just funny but also something he thinks a stranger would find odd, he would react with an oversensitive response about strangers hearing it, even if they can't.

I keep the volume on my TV really low so others won't hear it.
I don't know why, I just don't want them to.
Especially my video game sound effects.

I just hate being shushed when I'm not being loud. And I hate it when people think everybody can hear them. Why is a snorting noise embarrassing? I have social anxiety, and I know what embarrassing is, but making one snorting noise while being tickled is not one. Maybe it might be to some if you do it out in public, but in your own home, where nobody sees or hears...wtf?

Sorry, I just hate being shushed too, and because I have social anxiety, it's one of those situations I analyze over and over because I have done something socially stupid.

I totally agree with you that your snorting noise wasn't embarrassing -- it sounds to me like that moment was just cute and funny. But is also sounds like your boyfriend maybe thought it would be embarrassing for a stranger to hear. I don't think that, but from what you describe happening, maybe he did.

I'm the kind of person that would not even find it embarrassing out in public, lol! I'm a bit whimsical myself, and I do things like this when I'm with a person I'm comfortable around. It wouldn't be unheard of to get a snort or some other humorous sound out of me too, and I hate it when someone shushes me too.

Once when shopping with someone I was in a relationship with, and I went to get an item then noticed the shelf label and I said "89p???? It's gone up! It was 69p last week!" and that was enough for him to shush me and tell me I'm speaking too loudly. So what??? I hate that.

Or when we walked home from eating out one evening, same guy. We were chatting about something lighthearted and fun, and I was in a fun, lighthearted mood. It was about 9pm, and there weren't many people walking around. We had quite a bit of noisy traffic around too.

I made some whimsical remark about the topic we were chatting about, and did a silly voice, and he goes "Shhhhh, god, you're so loud now." He meant not only loud in volume but as in freely expressing myself. I've actually had to work very hard to freely express myself.

He knew me in school when I was suffering -- and I do literally mean suffering -- from selective mutism. I was a very, very sad girl back then. Repressed and depressed doesn't begin to describe me at that time.

As an adult I finally completed a journey from too quiet to how to "be loud" if I felt like it, and be funny and express myself ----- and I'm getting SHUSHED!

So I do feel you on this. It's horrible to be shut up by someone especially when it's you just being cute and funny and not even actually loud or embarrassing.

Most NT people are very self conscious of what others think about them and therefore try to do what others do, fit in and not act differently to draw attention to them. The sayings " Be careful someone may see you, someone may hear you" are almost said without thinking, often in places or situations, that no one is likely to see or hear.

My guess is that they think the noises you made are socially awkward.
It's up to you to decide whether it is or not.

When I saw the thread title I thought of how people assume I can understand what they are saying, when I can't...when they are talking in a low voice or mumbling, or not enunciating clearly, or there is a lot of background noise or a loud tv drowning them out, or they are standing beside a fan or machine that is running loudly or whatever. I keep telling them I can't hear them and they usually won't even do anything to change it, they just keep talking the same way.

It comes across to me as some kind of childish self-centeredness that makes them think because they can hear themselves, everyone else can too. I think it's basically the same principle when it comes to them being self-conscious.

The bigger question to me is not, why do they think people can hear them, but do they care so much when it doesn't really matter if anyone hears or not, and care so little when it would be more important to be understood clearly?

As an adult I finally completed a journey from too quiet to how to "be loud" if I felt like it, and be funny and express myself ----- and I'm getting SHUSHED!

So I do feel you on this. It's horrible to be shut up by someone especially when it's you just being cute and funny and not even actually loud or embarrassing.

I just thought that NTs were able to know what others can and can't hear, as part of the theory of mind thing. Me and my boyfriend have intimate interactions that are louder than one little snorting noise, with the window open, so if people can hear me do a little noise then they will most definitely hear us doing things you wouldn't want the public to hear!

Wait...

Because they have something to hide.
Because they can hear themselves really well.

Funny, I have Asperger's and I have that problem. I subconsciously worry about talking too loudly, so I go in the opposite direction and people have to tell me to speak up.