Need Help Stopping Intrusive Thoughts
I have had the same intrusive thoughts for well over a year now. They repeat in my brain nonstop and there is nothing I can do to stop them. I have talked to my therapist and psychiatrist about them, but ultimately to no avail.
All of these intrusive thoughts are direct or paraphrased quotes from people who emotionally hurt me in the past, so it is painful to have them repeat nonstop and it is so infuriating that it makes me want to scream after a while. i am currently 25 and cannot imagine having them repeat
Here is an exhaustive list of the thoughts:
"I guess you’re a victim of the patriarchy and misogyny in our society but that doesn’t mean that I should have to deal with it."
"It was easier to cut you off and focus on my own problems."
"I understood your anger in 2011 when we first started talking about these things but I don’t understand how it has intensified and become threatening."
"Even if you have a reason to be bitter, it’s still a completely unproductive and even harmful state of being."
"Why do you think you have such a difficult time letting go of this one event?"
"I guess, but I don’t think it matters who you are, if you continue to compare yourself to others, you will remain unhappy."
"Doesn’t matter, you’re still pathetic."
Have you looked into trying mindfulness. It's not an easy skill to learn but can sometimes help with intrusive thoughts.
Have a read of this Mindfulness
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Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard
Ah yes, I know what you're talking about. For me, it's more like unpleasant memories just come out of nowhere and I'm forced to relive them. It's actually quite vivid and distracting, even if it is momentary. I have a few solutions that might help you out.
First of all, and I do NOT intend to make light of your struggles, but try and fool yourself into thinking that those moments, and the people who said them, do not exist. That you only dreamed them, or imagined them in a daydream. This is something that's helped me.
The other option is having one-sided conversations with an imagined version of whoever said those things to you, and this time, you WIN the argument in a really cathartic way. For example...
Them: "It was easier to cut you off and focus on my own problems."
You: Then may you get everything you deserve, cold and alone, in the old folks home, you selfish jerk.
Them: "Why do you think you have such a difficult time letting go of this one event?"
You: Because I'm not letting your abuse get swept under the rug, as you seem so keen on doing.
Them: "Doesn’t matter, you’re still pathetic."
You: That's right, Kettle, you tell it to that pot.
No doubt anyone you have talked to about these recurring thoughts has said something like, "The past is gone. Forget about it!" Yeah, like we can. Here's what helped me altho mind you it was not an overnight solution.
The son of our next door neighbor, when he was in junior high school, began having recurring fearful thoughts that his father was doing to die a horrible death, such as in a fire or something. The situation became bad enough they took him to a psychologist who instructed him to wear a rubber band on one wrist and when those thoughts sprang up, to stretch that rubber band and let it pop back so as to sting. He wore that rubber band for several days but it didn't take very long for those thoughts to stop coming up and that took care of him. I felt that I needed something more effective but at the same time, I didn't feel I could cope with stinging my wrist constantly with my sensitivity issues. DEFINITELY not into pain.
That's when I stumbled onto some affirmations, one of which was the one I needed to take charge of my thoughts. That affirmation was--I Now Release the Past. So anytime I felt unpleasant thoughts welling up into my consiousness, I would say to myself in a commanding tone of voice, "I Now Release the Past!" If necessary I would say it again.....and again. And at first, I felt like I was having 20 - 30 incidents a day when I was resorting to the command. But each day it was a few less and a few less still until it was only once or twice a day. Not only were those thoughts not tormenting me anymore but I had a sense of accomplishment having over come them.
Another concept that I ran into which helped was to re-define the word "forgiveness." It is often wrongly associated with concepts such as pardoning and condoning. Its much better to define it as replacing negative feelings about an offender with more positive or at least neutral ones. Doing so becomes something we do not just to be good, but rather to gain a crucial skill in the pursuit of a healthy and fulfilling life.
I hope you find these helpful and they let you get your life back on a more positive course.
Say it with me class: I NOW RELEASE THE PAST!! !
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 120 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 74 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ = 38 MBTI = ISTJ Gender = Non-binary
I strive not to perseverate. You can PM me for more info.
There is quite a lot of information on the Internet about nutritional influence on brain chemistry such as zinc deficiencies, under or over methylation, and genetic variations that make for differing nutritional requirements.
You may want to research these and start experimenting. My father-in-law was diagnosed as psychotic until he stopped taking the medication they were giving him that made him that way.
My son has greatly benefited from SAMe supplementation. Not everything works the same way for everybody. Also not every medical expert is infallible. In the last analysis, you are the one that has to live your life. I would encourage research and experimentation to help you discover what works for you to manage your symptoms.
The only thing that ever helps me is to get lost in a special interest that makes it impossible to think about bad things. For me it is music. I get lost in it and everything else vanishes.
I hope it gets better. <3
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Writing is therapy, and unfortunately I am not ready to come out of the “Autistic Closet” just yet. Hopefully something that I have to share might be helpful to you in your life.
With love,
Anonymously Autistic
“Anna”
https://anonymouslyautistic.net/
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