My state .

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I post on and on here as an autistic/AS person , but , as I have said , I am on familiar tems with essentially nobody as " an autistic person " .
Of course , I have , practically/almost , mo real in-person " freinds " ` a couple of homeless world ones , actually , they're friends - We more or less bump into each other by accident , though .
As I have said , I have , all my life , essentially 100% never owned a computer/laptop of my own or lived in a place where there is ready access to a household one (Some very brief exceptions to that , though .) .
Never ! I have to walk around ~ Now crippled ~ to get my computer time , and have ideas many hours in advance for what I wish to say that , hours later , perhaps I forget or don't have time for .
I am not an Aspie , of course ~ We ALL know , don't we , that " adult Aspies " are cute-looking lil' thin gs named Jeremy or Jason who if they don't have a Lovin' Spoonful/Beatles haircut , pretty recently did , and pop like bubbles the last night of their 29th year at the very least .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I actually do walk faster now with the crutch than I did , certainly , when I was in that really hobbled " 30/40 minutes to walk 4-5 blocks " state in ~ Whenever it was , when I was staying on the other side of Van Ness , I mentioned that here then .
I have sometimes left the crutch behind , just to-day on the way to this lab (Which is a different one , more cheerful but less ti0me available than the other one , but this one right now is free) , I forgot and left my crutch behind ~! and went back for it and luckily i0t was there .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

C'mon, buddy...you have to keep track of that crutch!

That's why you can get around so much better.

Are you homeless?

...Now , literally , no (as I have stated in my posts , if you ~ GASP ! ~ don't follow every one) , I am now in a temporary room in this " ex-/recently/getting them off the street " homeless place .
There are distinct enviromental flaws wih it - What I have referred to as this apparent " lead/mercury " sort of additive seemingly present , and , more easily point-out-able , this excessive light from morning light and the all-white walls' refraction of said light , I do think that it could lead to damage to my eyes .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I still think that that light (over-) exposure in the room is not likely to be very good for my eyesight , in the long run ! !
Look , when I go outside into full sun I get overexposed by the light out in the full sun...I am 56 yrs old , 3 of my 4 grandparents had glaucoma of some sort (No one went blind , I guess , but the word has been used IIRC)...I don't need to help my eyes (which haven't had the prescription glasses they should have ~ since G. Bush's first term?? Even earlier ? ) get any worse !

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I am super-rushed to-day , and will not be able to post again til' Tuesday .
Super-briefly , my digestion problems showed up again recently , and I threw away more underwear - To be brief/not gross you out unduly , I do keep some underwear to wash , it's just that some has too much - residue - in it , I decide .
I am able to do laundry free at the place now , but with much signing up/" use the right machine " , etc. , required .
I'm (telling myself that I am) going to church tomorrow , I do want to seem as reasonably nice as I can then .
Remember , I have no computer of my/my household's own , must walk at length to get one - I does tend to lead to me not doing other stuff .
No clock in my room , no radio or TV .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I could not post 4 3 days , as Sunday was followed by/Labor Day/then Tues. this lab , when I got there late in the day (W/me now banned from the library it is the only choice I know of that part of the day) it turned out it was closed , no staff turned up that day .
One thing about my relationship to my money is that I find it hard to make " big " purchase ~ But I tend , then to II guess overly piss my do$h away on lots of small purchases ~ I might point out that (as I have said again recently in another post) , as my SSDI comes in broken into " by-the-week " chunks , it's hard to spend things on " bigger " purchases even more so than it is already .
And again remember , I have not just no bank account , but even that , imperfect to say the least but it's something! , Green Dot ATM card was stolen from me and I would need to make a " from-square-one " cash outlay to buy a new one and load it even the minimum amount...And , that is another cash outlay (I have spoken of my hurt , about all those stolen/taken/whatever things I've lost just in my yearorso back in SF and the money it takes to (When they're really nessecary/I can-want to get replacements) replace them , which takes away duckie$ that could be spent on something else .)...So , now , no GC ATM let alone a bank account (Briefly , last one I had got itself et up by fees when I left it alone for a while )...As with this as well as many other things (Some of which I refer to it my sig , below .) I could use...Well , if I could get something , even , like the " microloan " we hear people speaking of referring to things in Third World countries .....................

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...What many people possibly don't realize is that , for all my years on WP --- I have almost all but absolutely always , done my computer time at libraries , computer labs (Like that last one right now) , etc.
I have almost NEVER , ever! had a computer of my own/the household that I am in's ownership - I spend so much time trying to get computer time , and it is never quite enough for what I want to immediately write , let alone deeper/" needing some preperation " projects , or finishing up old stuff or looking for new things to do - Or to watch videos , etc.
It is all these years , and there are , for example , so many articles I " put aside to read later " on my Facebook feed and I , STILL! , never , at least in full , read many of them .
People talk about " being tied to a device for so many years , needing to get away from it for a while " ~ Well , I have never really DONE! that ~ I am still trying to accomplish some things .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I hope things start looking up for you very soon.

...On a certain level , maybe I am doing better now ~ But , on another level , I am sort of approaching things as if I might be HL again soon , maybe after getting some stuff out of the way ~ I have gotten some .
There IS , STILL , the excessive light , that I think could damage my eyes long-term , in my room - and the " lead/mercury " , too - I do get caugt up in this " murkiness " when there for a long time .
I have spelled out at length in my " Crying when I die because..." post why I may or not be able to pursue" taking early courses at CCSF so I can go to full-fleged uni later " and what I may have to do if I want to go to uni if it's not do-able that way...I don't even have a PO box or storage space - Or , with my ATM card , as i said , stolen , that or a bank account , that these would take some special first-month $ to open - And I pay $25 a month for membership in this Sal. Army's lab , etc. (payable in the middle of the month) ~ which has some ridiculous blocks upon it , I could not go to Grand Comics Database , as the blocking says " Nudity , Anime/Magna/Webcomic " ! (So even a " Webcomic " is a sign of sin ????????????????????? Web Of Eee-vil , I guess !) ~ It blocked me following an article put up from Elle (women's) magazine , I guess for " ladies' magazines " tending to have - well , duh - ladies' undergarmets/scanties pictures on them !

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...To-day , I haven't eaten a real meal since getting up, and it's nearly 3:15 now !
I admit , I could have - I could have eaten at least one of the two Meals On Wheels meals I can have daily at my place (albeit mebbe tending to come out of the common room microwave a touch undercooked) , but I wanted to get here to the computer lab that is one of the places I have to go blocks , including uphill walking w/a hurt knee in a brace , to get to ~ but did mean to go to one of the free feed , near it - but was just a little too late .
I had bought two 99c sodas when I first left , which likely led to me being too late for the feed . After missing the feed , I went to a Tenderloin grocery and bought a - 75c - little bag of " party mix " chips (seeing anther customer in the store stick a bottle of soda down his - worn " low britches " , prison-yard style - trousers) .
I mean , I can - and I imagine I will - avail myself of the two MOW meals , remember , when I get back (And I won't get much computer time to-day anyhow , for a couple reasons I'll maybe detail later .) , and , if nothing else , my $ comes in early-early-early this A.M. - and , there could even be another free feed at U.N. Plaza this later afternoon , so...........

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I got my check yesterday (only about 1/5 of a " normal " one as , again , I get it week by week) and , I have spent the majority of it ~ On my monthly renwal to the place where this omputer lab is , on more new underwear , and on a tarp ! (Besides food , whatever .)
I am sort of behaving as if I will be at least " semi "-homeelss/sleeping outside at times soon , in preperation for maybe doing it fullyime .
As I analysed at my Education " Crying When..." I post I think I may , effectively , have to go to another area outside of California to eventually be able to complete college/go to uni , and I would likely , I guess , have to go there homeless - At least at first .
I talked to another tenant at my temporary place last night , who agreed with me about the excessive light and especially the " lead/mercury " I have referred to it the place that I feel have affected me - She felt likewise !

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I wish this wasn't so, ASS-P.

I wish you could stay in that apartment, so you don't have to sleep in the streets again.