Eye Contact When Driving + Walking In The Street???

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So when I'm driving I find I have a hard time looking at the driver if I've done something wrong and they've beeped/flashed me (if they drive past me I have to look straight ahead and if they're opposite me I have to look to the side and pretend I've not seen them) or more often it's that the other person is annoyed that I beeped them (or I just feel awkward afterweards) and again I struggle (due to it being really awkward and uncomfortable for me) to look directly at them (even though I'm in the right). It's kinda the conflict and the argueing that seems uncomfrotable to me (even though I've purposely retaliated in a controlled manor to scare other drivers in the past and am not afraid of anything as drastic as a physical confrontation, though I typically diplomatically avoid this). The same issue holds true to traffic lights with cars either side of me waiting with me (though not quite as bad as the aforementioned one).

The other time I have issues with eye contact is walking towards total strangers in areas where it's just me and the other person (i.e a narrow walkway or alleyway). I just feel like I'm gonna be accussed of starring at them if I look at them, so I try to look past them instead. No problems in crowded or busy places (ui.e shops), but just the more quiet ones.

Does anyone else have non standard eye contact issues (as this kind doesn't seem to get mentioned very often).

I have this exact problem when in the street. Normally eye contact is natural to me, but when it comes to passing a stranger on the pavement, I become all conscious of where I am looking, and I don't know where to look. I'm afraid of looking at them because they might think I'm staring and I don't like making others feel self-conscious (although most don't give a s**t about making ME feel self-conscious), but I find that if I look away they will actually stare more (as I see in my periphery) because it makes you look nervous I suppose. So it's a vicious cycle.

It's so HARD to actually bring myself to make eye contact with a passing stranger. Really, it's that hard. I just feel that every stranger who passes me is judging me. I think there are 2 things that have got me thinking this.
1, is I have social phobia around strangers because most the times I have been harrassed or picked on in my life was from kids/adults I didn't even know.
And 2, is I spend too much time on WP, and while it has helped me in some ways, it hasn't in other ways because of some people here telling me in the past that I am probably stimming or doing something else out of the ordinary that is attracting attention without me knowing that I'm doing it. One time I wrote a thread trying to persuade myself, and others with social anxiety, how people aren't really laughing at you and that if you have social anxiety it's natural to feel that people are laughing, and then a poster put "they probably WERE laughing at you". That was like a dagger in my stomach.

So, yeah, I feel the same way as you. Making eye contact with strangers is so hard!

I only find it a problem when driving if I"m alongside someone when stationary. I get the urge to look but always fight it. I can occasionally glance over but if eye contact is met it sends my mind into overdrive.

Walking in the street has been my biggest problem for years, the best way I can describe it is I"m hyper vigilant and need to take in as much detail as possible so need to check everyone out and assess things. I only realised recently that this eye contact was the root of my problem , I now make a conscious effort to avoid eye contact and I feel a whole lot better.

Ooh where in Essex are you from, I'm from Essex too

Yeah it's really awkward when some one is waking towards you in the street. If I see them from a distance I try and cross the road so I don't have to walk directly past them. Don't like it in cars when pulled up at traffic lights and there's other cars beside you or parked somewhere and there people sitting /standing in close proximity, feels like they are always staring at me.

I just never make eye contact in either scenario. When driving, I don't know, I feel like I notice that nobody makes much actual eye contact with other drivers anyway. If there is an ambiguous situation such as a small awkward junction where drivers need to make their intentions clear or even wave the other driver on, then you have to do some direct seeking of the other person's eye contact, but the rest of the time I don't think people do it much. I think it's fine to just stare straight ahead, especially at traffic lights. It would be a bit odd and nosy when standing still at traffic lights, to just turn and look at the driver in the car next to you, for example.

When walking along a street as a pedestrian, I do feel awkward when passing a stranger who is the only other person on the street, only because I don't know where to look, similar to Joe90. I don't feel eye contact is expected of me so I don't do it and I feel fine about that, but I'm not sure what to look at instead, particularly since I'm sometimes taking in the scenery and that person is in the way, lol. I just stare straight ahead and pretend they aren't there.

But I live in a major city where more often than not the experience of being a pedestrian is a crowded one, and there are just too many people to bother making eye contact with. So everyone just doesn't. In crowded situations it's normal for everyone to just seem to pretend that all the other people don't exist -- I think even NTs in big cities do this, unless or until an individual event happens like someone falling down or something. Then people break out into acknowledging the other person.

I don't think there's anything wrong with just not making eye contact with strangers unless you live in a smaller town or village where everyone knows each other, then it would be rude. I don't think it's rude in a city situation, it's just practical not to because there are too many people and you're never going to see any of them again, nor they you. Nobody does it.

As for driving, I have learned to never stop at a traffic light EXACTLY even with the car(s) next to you. Stopping just a few feet/1 meter back or that much ahead avoids the awkwardness of eye contact, even tho to us it looks sloppy.

As for approaching someone as you walk along a street, and its just the two of you, that is a difficult situation indeed. Don't genders play a major role here? If I'm meeting a woman, I try to make very little eye contact (so I don't appear creepy) but I do make some in case she appears interested in at least exchanging a pleasantry or two. If its another guy, I try to size him up, guess his friendliness and go from there. But yes, I have crossed the street many a time to avoid the whole scene. On the other hand, I have noticed that women, at least where I am, can get away with NEVER making eye contact with anyone. I wish I could do that!

I didn't know you're supposed to look directly at other drivers on the road necessarily. If someone else does something and you beep your horn just glare in their general direction if you want or don't even look at them at all..it is really up to you what you want to do.

If someone beeps their horn at you though try and realize what you may have done wrong to avoid it in the future...as you don't want to be that person driving like a jerk on the road.

Also pretty sure people don't expect for you to make eye contact with them just because you're walking past them. I usually don't.

I realised today that it's only if someone has transgressed against me or vice-versa that'd make that scenario awkward for me anyway and I don't think this has yet happened.



You're not required to make eye contact with drivers (never said you did), I just meant that in certain circumstances I find it hard because it's like you're getting involved with a pointless arguement that could be better settled just with a car horn as a warning. Let the horn be your voice of anger or warning I say.
And no eye contact isn't expected walking past strangers in quiet places, but I sometimes just don't know where to look otherwise.

This is me so much. Walking down the street, it's hard to know where to look. I don't know whether to smile at the person, or even look at them. If I look at them, I then get concerned I'm looking at them too much then they'll think I'm staring...I hate this...It even makes me walk funny. I get very conscious about the way I walk and all of a sudden I'm consciously watching the way I walk and that makes me look weird as doing so makes me walk weird.

I was in a meeting this morning at work. There were a number of people in there and my manager was looking at everyone..when she looked at me, I shifted uncomfortably...sort of stared at her...looked away...looked back and she was still looking at me...started stimming under the table and felt very uncomfortable.

I don't live in a city but the times I've walked the streets of large cities such as NYC, I've noticed that people tend to be sort of stone-faced and don't acknowledge each other. Suits me fine.

Well not sure why two drivers on the road even would necessarily look at each other in those situations, unless it was to give an angry look. Also don't think it really matters where you look when you're walking past someone for the most part...if you're worried that you seem to stare just don't look at them look past/behind them or something.