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Kitty4670
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28 Jun 2017, 7:23 pm

Do people here get anxiety when they clean their house? I sometimes get anxiety walking around my apartment.



will@rd
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28 Jun 2017, 7:38 pm

I have anxiety from the moment I open my eyes until I pass out unconscious again. Living in a world of humans, I'm constantly waiting for the "other shoe to drop" and someone to fall on me like a predator from a tree and rip me to shreds, verbally and psychologically. It always happens, sooner or later. :shaking: :bounce:


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29 Jun 2017, 4:47 am

Kitty, do you have anxiety during cleaning itself? Like, if you start doing the dishes, after some time you feel anxious?
Personally I get anxious sometimes, in the sense that I feel like I'm being rushed to do that work, and during the activity I feel many thoughts, almost like I'm just trying to get it done with, almost like trying to run away from the moment.
On the other hand, often cleaning things and sorting them gives me a lot of relief psychologically,.. But when there's routine stuff to do, I sometimes feel some anxiety. But I think having a routine defined and established can make it less difficult, amongst other things.



stevet
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29 Jun 2017, 3:25 pm

Yes cleaning my flat does give me anxiety/stress ,it's like I just want in over with and get really agitated if it takes too long or my executive function is bad due to anxiety /stress at that time, also I have this routine of cleaning the flat which takes me around 1 and a half hours and if it goes on past that it's like i've failed in some major way ,maybe that's ocd thinking I don't know but it annoys me more after I finish the fact I got wound up about it all and it happens again and again :x



JakeASD
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29 Jun 2017, 4:01 pm

I cannot say cleaning has ever caused me anxiety; it's other human beings that are the problem.


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Higurashi
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30 Jun 2017, 2:47 pm

I do get anxious fairly often, but not because of cleaning my home. It's places with loud music or trying to enter group convos which make me anxious.



Kitty4670
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30 Jun 2017, 4:16 pm

I went to a mental health test yesterday for my SSI, my grandmother took me, that was a mistake, first she got a little mad, cuz she thought I was late, she was being mean. I went outside & didn't see her car, she was the one that drove around the block. When I told her, I was on time, she didn't apologize. I was having anxiety getting into her car, she didn't ask what wrong, she acted like she didn't care. I can't handle my grandmother anymore, she thinks she knows me still, but she don't Asperger, she knows I have it, but she don't care to learn. How can you want to see your grandmother if she really hurting you & don't care to learn about Aspergers? I know she is 88 & have alot of problems, I have alot of problems too. I know she never going to learn.



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01 Jul 2017, 4:41 am

@Kitty4670,

I think many people here experienced very similar thing as you have...
Society just isn't educated about these things. They don't even know much about themselves or their emotions, and they behave towards you the same way they would behave towards another 'NT'.
Instead of talking calmly, they approach with anger, which causes unnecessary emotional distress for both.
Often, these situations repeat...

It's hard.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
But remember, you're not alone in this.
Most of your experiences are something that others here also struggle with, and maybe others can tell you what worked for them~

Actually, people are really not educated about many things, which gives them an excuse to behave inappropriately towards you, without feeling bad about themselves (self-righteousness).
My experience has been that even after telling someone about my difficulties, it would have only a short-term effect, and later they would still suppress their awareness of what I told them and behave inappropriately.

I found that the best that I can do is these things:
-Strive toward independece (which can be alot harder for us, especially because of psychological difficulties)
-Educate yourself about your condition, and about your self
-When you are dependent on someone, approach them directly, but safely (i.e. self-disclusure)
>> This can be difficult because it requires that you have alot of strength of the mind, because they can otherwise use your trust against you. You basically have to become stronger than they are. Your intelligence can be your strength.

For me personally, approaching others directly, and talking about what has been wrong, has been best approach.
Do it repeatedly! Every 1 week, if it's necessary, go and ask if they have 5 minutes to talk, and discuss what you like about the relationship with them, and about what you would wish to change.
This is the practice of Self-Assertiveness. It's a way of having Self-Acceptance.

But it is also risky.. It's most hard when you depend on someone financially, materially, or even emotionally...
That's why I said it's risky, because some people are very stubborn, and they won't admit they're wrong.
If you are good at expressing yourself and educated about your issues, then you can win the argument, and they might approach you more responsibly.

It's not easy though, ... You have to persist, and stand your ground...

It's really not easy... I think actually just going and talking directly to someone can help alot.
If someone hurts you emotionally, then talking is really important.
I wrote alot in this post just because I want to tell you that it really is difficult, and it's okay...
Other people's ignorance is a predictable consequence of their lack of education...


If their mind doesn't listen, then talk to their heart. Ok?



TheWarrior
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01 Jul 2017, 11:55 am

JakeASD wrote:
I cannot say cleaning has ever caused me anxiety; it's other human beings that are the problem.

Same here.
I'm very open minded and like doing all kinds of different things, if there's no other human involved. Things change completely if they're around.



Ashariel
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01 Jul 2017, 12:06 pm

I wonder if maybe cleaning triggers anxiety in you, due to a feeling of pressure, and never being able to please others? That's how grocery shopping used to feel to me. I'd get to the grocery store, but just stand there, overwhelmed, and go into a shutdown, because it hit me that no matter how hard I tried, I would not be able to please my husband, as the perfect domestic Stepford wife who makes the perfect dinner for him every night.

Does cleaning stress you because others have pressured you about it, and made you feel inadequate?



shortfatbalduglyman
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01 Jul 2017, 9:30 pm

Do people here get anxiety when they clean their house? I sometimes get anxiety walking around my apartment.

no i don't get anxiety when i clean my house. although i hardly ever clean the house.

usually precious lil "people" gimmie anxiety



Kitty4670
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02 Jul 2017, 6:11 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Do people here get anxiety when they clean their house? I sometimes get anxiety walking around my apartment.

no i don't get anxiety when i clean my house. although i hardly ever clean the house.

usually precious lil "people" gimmie anxiety



Your house never gets messy?



Kitty4670
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02 Jul 2017, 6:43 pm

Ashariel wrote:
I wonder if maybe cleaning triggers anxiety in you, due to a feeling of pressure, and never being able to please others?



Cleaning is pressure, I keep postponing it, but I leave it toooo long & that when I have a panic attack, there toooo much do to. I know how to clean good, but there too much cleaning. I used to have a support system with my mom, she gone.

Quote:
That's how grocery shopping used to feel to me. I'd get to the grocery store, but just stand there, overwhelmed, and go into a shutdown, because it hit me that no matter how hard I tried, I would not be able to please my husband, as the perfect domestic Stepford wife who makes the perfect dinner for him every night.


I got a bad panic attack at the grocery store once, I have to sit down. I could never do what you doing for your husband.



Quote:
Does cleaning stress you because others have pressured you about it, and made you feel inadequate




No



AnonymousAnonymous
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03 Jul 2017, 6:36 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
Do people here get anxiety when they clean their house? I sometimes get anxiety walking around my apartment.


Cleaning the sinks I have no problem with doing, but I only have problems whenever I put away the dishes because of the presence of knives.


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AceofPens
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03 Jul 2017, 9:27 pm

Cleaning relaxes me, but rearranging furniture makes me feel awful. Change, in general, makes me feel bad. That could be your problem. Another possibility: Sinus Tachycardia. If you're cleaning rigorously, depending on your exercise habits, it might cause your heart rate to go up significantly. That can sometimes cause anxiety. You won't necessarily feel it rise, though. I have SVT, and I can't really feel my heart pounding until it's around 150. Try checking your heart rate next time you feel anxious.


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04 Jul 2017, 10:19 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
Ashariel wrote:
I wonder if maybe cleaning triggers anxiety in you, due to a feeling of pressure, and never being able to please others?



Cleaning is pressure, I keep postponing it, but I leave it toooo long & that when I have a panic attack, there toooo much do to. I know how to clean good, but there too much cleaning. I used to have a support system with my mom, she gone.

Quote:
That's how grocery shopping used to feel to me. I'd get to the grocery store, but just stand there, overwhelmed, and go into a shutdown, because it hit me that no matter how hard I tried, I would not be able to please my husband, as the perfect domestic Stepford wife who makes the perfect dinner for him every night.


I got a bad panic attack at the grocery store once, I have to sit down. I could never do what you doing for your husband.



Quote:
Does cleaning stress you because others have pressured you about it, and made you feel inadequate




No


Can I ask you, what triggered your panic attack in the grocery store as you said?
May I ask, do you also have fatigue?