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EllaRose123
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10 Oct 2016, 1:57 pm

Would you have kids, knowing that they could be born w autism, or would you adopt? If you knew w certainty that they'd have autism, would you still do it, or would you have kids on the off chance that they wouldn't have it?
Personally planning on adopting. I know some people view their autism as a source of pride and wouldn't change themselves if they could.



GodzillaWoman
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10 Oct 2016, 3:34 pm

Looking back on my life, now knowing that I have autism spectrum disorder, I would say yes, even though I and 3 cousins are diagnosed ASD, and my dad and grandfather were probably on the spectrum. It's not a bar to having a good life, especially with support. When I was in my twenties, I thought I was too messed up to have kids, partly because I had a pretty messed up childhood and didn't think I knew how to be a good mother. Then I had a pregnancy scare after a one-night stand. I spent a scary month trying to decide what to do -- abortion? adoption? keep it? call the (one night stand) father? At the end of the month, I decided to keep the baby, and I started to think of this as a blessing in disguise. Unfortunately, I became very ill soon after, and lost the baby.

I thought about trying to get pregnant intentionally, but was afraid I was too crazy. If I had known what my problem was, and had been able to get some guidance and support, I think I would have tried to have a child.

I've heard of some people with ASD having children on the spectrum, and still having a happy, well-adjusted family. I'm sure it's a big challenge, though, so I can certainly understand you wanting to go with adoption.


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NeilM
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10 Oct 2016, 4:16 pm

I concluded some 20-25 years ago that being a father was NOT for me. Even tho that was before AS even existed and long before I knew what was up with me. I looked at my father, who I can say with hindsight was definitely on the spectrum, and how miserable he was with us three kids around, and realized I was very similar to him. Enough that I did not want to put myself nor any kids I would have thru that kind of life, whether they were on the spectrum or not.

So its not the end of the world if you don't spawn.


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nca14
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11 Oct 2016, 12:34 pm

I want to have my own children, but I do not want damnation of any of them. I also do not want them to be cause of problems for others. But I does not appear to be a good candidate for a parent.



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11 Oct 2016, 12:48 pm

I won't consider willingly refraining from having them. This said, I don't expect ever to be able to afford to raise children, and much less to find a (mentally sound) woman willing to be my children's mother, so what I decide probably matters zilch.


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Jute
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11 Oct 2016, 2:28 pm

Q) Would you consider having children?

A) No, regardless of whether they were autistic or not, whether they were natural or adopted, regardless of whether they were pink, black or green, I don't want any. I like being alone and I'd object to anyone intruding into my life.


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Last edited by Jute on 11 Oct 2016, 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TheSilentOne
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11 Oct 2016, 3:09 pm

I'm medically unable to have kids, but I don't think I ever will adopt either. I just don't think I would make a very good mother.


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andromeda292
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11 Oct 2016, 10:57 pm

I realized at a very early age that I'd never be having children, mainly because I would be clueless as to how to keep them alive. Parents are like superheroes to me, I don't see how they do it.



feral botanist
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11 Oct 2016, 11:04 pm

At 17, I decided that I didn't want kids. I have not regretted that decision. I often struggle to just take care of myself.



Evolare
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11 Oct 2016, 11:18 pm

Yes... No...
...Wait..... ok... yes..

And i mean it really depend's on whom with.
I know, if i meet that dream girl. Ofcourse, being in love will change everything....

I'm only 29 tho.
I got like 11 years left until it falls off..



ArielsSong
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12 Oct 2016, 12:24 am

I have one daughter. She shares many of my personality traits and I had thought that she would turn out to be autistic, but more recently I believe that she's NT and those traits were temporary but more extreme than her peers. I hope to have another child in future. I don't believe that 'autistic' means 'unhappy', so I believe that with the right support and understanding there would be no reason for a child having autism to be an 'issue'. And from my perspective, I would have no problem providing that support and understanding for my child.



auntblabby
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12 Oct 2016, 12:49 am

it has long been the case that nobody wanted my genes. even if they did, I have long known that i'd make a rotten parent. too scatterbrained and lazy, and that is not the kind of genes to pass along. mebbe in the next life things will be better....



mikeman7918
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12 Oct 2016, 1:39 am

I'm asexual, so I don't plan on passing down my own genes in that way. I doubt I will adopt either, because I don't think I would be able to handle it.


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orangegoldgreen
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12 Oct 2016, 4:52 pm

I don't want any children at all, regardless.



auntblabby
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12 Oct 2016, 6:33 pm

me and a compatible mate and compatible children are what I dream of now and then.



AnaHitori
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12 Oct 2016, 7:53 pm

I want to adopt, but not because of a fear of passing on autism.


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