Do you care about people staring?

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And are you aware of it if it happens?

I've been told that when I rock, pace, make my "odd" hand movements and have a stim toy with me, people stare at me.

But I'm pretty much oblivious to it when it happens, until I make very, very fleeting eye contact with some people around me (I don't do eye contact beyond 0.5 seconds in duration) and then I see a proportion of them staring.

My support workers tell me that I can stim if I want and it's only the judgemental who stare.

I don't really care much about the staring. I care more about my need to stim to avoid a meltdown.

What are you like on this matter?

I was pacing up and down a corridor at uni, holding my stim toy and my support worker was standing near me looking at his phone (we were waiting for a lecture and I didn't need his input at the time). I didn't realise I was being stared at by two students until I looked at them fleetingly. I didn't care and continued to stim. (I stim a lot)

Other people are of absolutely no consequence to me so I pay them the minimum of attention, in consequence I've got no idea if they stare at me or not and to be perfectly honest it makes no difference to me whether they do or don't.

I dont believe it's only the judgemental who stare , people also stare to gain information , coz there nosey , coz they dont understand ( cant think of any more reasons at the moment )

Only care about the judgemental Dr Who stare

I struggle to make eye contact with strangers, yet I am hypersensitive to staring and I do anything not to draw attention to myself. Most of it is natural; I naturally walk along looking normal and I instinctively don't want to do anything out of the ordinary. But some small things I have to keep up, like walking with arms moving. I find it more comfortable and natural to walk without my arms swinging by my sides, but apparently it's ''weird'' not to swing your arms when walking.

I know other Aspies may argue that I ''shouldn't care what others think''...but I do. It's no point in telling me that, because you might as well tell that to an NT. Social approval is important to me and I don't want to be stared at and judged negatively. I'm not the sort to think ''oh it's only the mean, judgemental people who stare'', because that isn't always true. Most people will stare, because it's instinct. Mean people may laugh, but odd behaviour will still attract most people of all sorts. I hate judging, and I try not to stare if someone is acting odd, but something about it makes me look without thinking. But I don't judge.

One time I was in the supermarket and a young man was in there with his mum or carer, and I think he was autistic. He had a padded helmet thing on his head, earphone things on, and was making noises and flapping his hands, and his carer was leading him around. He made some loud noises, and a lot of people turned round and stared. I turned round to look at first, because I thought the noises he was making were just stupid teenagers making stupid noises, but when I realised how obvious it was that the young man was not a threat, I just carried on doing what I was doing, whilst other people still stood staring. I judge when teenagers make stupid noises, because I always think that they are making them at me to get my attention of something (sometimes teenagers make noises near someone as a way of making fun), and it makes me self-conscious, so when I hear a suspicious noise from a person I turn around to look, and if it is stupid teenagers I just give them a ''you f*****g ret*ds'' stare so that they can realise how stupid they look. But with a person with any sort of neurological disorder, I just feel sympathy and don't take any more notice. I might stare if somebody is a danger, like waving a knife around or shouting and swearing, because that's just for my own safety.

I would say I'm little hypersensitive to staring but I'm the opposite to you. In my late teens I got tattoo's and piercings and crazy coloured hair styles , a lot of it was about trying to find myself but it also made me stick out and attracted staring, I found it easier to deal with staring when I knew why people were staring so the more freaky I looked the easier it was to deal with stares. Unfortunately for me, what was freaky 25 years ago is pretty tame today.

People stare at me all the time. The fact that they're staring doesn't bother me so much as not knowing why they are. It makes me feel very self-conscious. In public my stimming is very subtle, I have a 'language' of tapping the fingers on my right hand to my thumb very quickly and systematically, like typing. Most of the time I'm not even doing that much, and I still get all sorts of people craning their necks and full-on staring at me. They don't even mind that I see them, even if I make eye contact - they keep doing it.

It's something I can mostly deal with (although sometimes I do feel a little Truman Show type paranoia about it). It's not very nice though, my main worry every time it happens is that there's something on my face or I'm talking to myself or something. If people are staring at you because you're obviously stimming though, screw them. They're being nosey/insensitive/judgey/wilfully ignorant, and at that point they don't deserve your attention.

I don't care about strangers staring so much, once I've decided that they are not a threat. It's a bit uncomfortable, and worrisome if I'm not sure they are non-threatening, but tolerable. It's when people that I know stare at me that I get really, really uncomfortable or even freaked out, because it's probably because I've broken one of those unspoken NT rules or said something they thought was inappropriate/weird. I also feel very stressed if I have to give a speech or teach my team about something, because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing or boring everyone.

I'm aware of it, their position, face direction and face mimics to an extent, but it does not bother me. It did bother me before I accepted and understood my difference and needs. Realizing this helped for my social anxiety and now I can go outside with no problem, as long as I don't have to talk to anyone.

It depends on the circumstances.

If I'm dressed in an outlandish costume on purpose, then it's only to be expected, and in fact at Star Trek conventions, I find it flattering.

If I'm in public, dressed only in a mildly eccentric way, and not stimming but only sitting and minding my own business, then I mind ... to the point where I might do things like stare back at them, smile a little too big (on purpose) or even make a silly face at them, and wave.

As for me staring ...
sometimes I might be quietly sitting and staring off into space ...
and somebody will mistakenly think I'm staring at them ...
then they'll get annoyed at me,
when it's actually just a misunderstanding.

Or if I'm doing cosplay or portraying a character who stares at people,
I'll do it then ... in which case, other people know there's a reason for it,
and that the reason doesn't have to do with them.

Now, if someone's stimming is invading my space, then I might stare or get angry ...
and that goes for both Aspies and NTs ... like recently, there was this girl who kept
fiddling with her hair and flicking it back in my direction.
Who knows if she was NT or Aspie?
I didn't mind the hair flicking itself ... I just minded
that she was doing it so close to me.
In such a case, staring might be one of my more milder reactions ...

I hate being stared at. I don't even like people looking my way, because it makes me feel like they're staring at me and judging me. In elementary school, I used to freak out a little when someone stared at me, which of course didn't help.

I'm aware of it, really sensitive to it and struggle with social anxiety. I have to constantly using my various coping tools from CBT/DBT/ACT when I am out in public to manage my anxiety. I get better the older I get but it still requires a lot of concious effort.

If I an stimming I don't tend to notice if other people are looking at me or not. I tend to be very self focused especially if I am stimming in public. But I guess I don't care because it's just something I need to do. But I really don't notice what others are doing so I don't know if they are staring or not.

I really don't like staring, but I also don't stim very often in public, so staring usually isn't a problem for me.

Pretty much the same for me. I guess I put on a bit of a show with my stimming, so I don't blame them. But I am usually oblivious to it.

I've seen and heard people making fun of me for flapping fingers and such before I knew what stimming was. I was not aware of how weird I looked so I thought it was no big deal that they were making fun of it.