Could childhood autistic traits be masked by fear?

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Could childhood autistic traits be masked by fear?

I never remember having a meltdown. I have a bad temper, but nothing that seems to be an autistic meltdown or outside of the normal hormonal fits of puberty. (I remember once in eighth grade I threw a huge tantrum because I wasn't allowed to wear my favorite shirt to a school event, but I attribute that to being hormonal, ha.) But I also had a parent who had a worse temper than me and would scream and yell and become so overly angry at me if I lost control of myself. I'd get punished, and I was a non-rule-breaker who hated punishments. So suppressing outbursts became a challenging, but important, thing.

Could fear overrule a meltdown? Could it overrule really reacting to the things that bother you?

It probably can mask some traits, as well as expose others. For example, I've always been afraid of the consequences of my social behavior, because I can tell there's a lot I'm missing about social interaction. Little did I suspect as a kid that you're actually supposed to be born instinctually knowing a big part of it. Lacking those inborn skills, the way you behave in response to your fear to screw up is often very unwise in its own right, but you have no way to tell before someone angrily and forcefully corrects you, which, needless to say, won't usually be done in a particularly instructive or healthy way for you.

Some traits could be masked by fear. I would have had an easier time in school with just autism and not additional social anxiety but I or someone else might also have realized earlier on that not all my problems with socializing were due to my anxiety and if I had interacted with people more I might also have been more aware of the traits that don't mainly affect social interaction.

As for meltdowns, I wouldn't know. I never had them frequently and often when something upsets me a lot no one realizes because when I cry I usually do it silently and in my room or elsewhere where there are no other people.
Fear can be a motivation to not let others see how you feel but you might also have been more capable of dealing with the kinds of stressing situations you were exposed to back then than with the ones you have to deal with now (that is, if you have melt downs now; not every autistic person has frequent meltdowns).

I was also raised by a person with huge tantrum problem but I reacted differently than you. The more punishment I expected the worse my meltdowns were and the worse the meltdown was the more dad was yelling abd hitting me but noone of us could stop. It was a total disaster. Eventually I learned to escape to my room or bathroom and close the door when I were upset so I don't trigger dad but even then it wasn't easy because the triggering each other mechanism was still on. Dad complained, I cried, dad heard me, dad yelled, I cried more, dad yelled more, I cried more, dad yelled even more, I yelled "UAAAAAAAA!"( ), Dad sweared...
Sometimes I was even escaping the house blindly without a jacket or through a window on 1st floor because the situation just was so bad - I couldn't calm down till dad calmed down and dad couldn't calm down until I calmed down so escape was the only way to stop the wheel.

I am actually more prone to stop an incoming meltdown before it starts when I know I won't be punished by losing control. The stress of punishment adds fuel to fire.

In my case, fear just might have CAUSED my autistic traits.

I wish your father would get a life, Kiriae. Get over it, dad!

I became increasingly withdrawn as a child due to my fear of my older brother, so whether that disguised or amplified some of my autistic triats I don't know.

I had similar experiences to Kiriae's, but as an adult, when I was back at my parents' home after my failed attempt at university, still completely dependent on them and with no idea what to do or much practical knowledge about the outside world at all.

Thanks for sharing. I honestly expected people to give a resounding 'no' because if it's something uncontrollable, how could you manage to control it because you were in a certain situation? So it's interesting hearing some alternate thoughts.