Concerns with diagonsis

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I've been considering receiving a diagnosis to clear up my concern on whether or not I have Asperger's syndrome, but I feel embarrassed and discouraged to ask my parents for a diagnosis because they have been dismissive of other issues before. I was formally diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, but the more I compare the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome to attention deficit disorder to what I display superficially and internally, the more I believe myself to have Asperger's syndrome. I have been reading the two disorders religiously for the past year, but I can't find the courage to talk to someone with a more legitimate form of education to screen this self. I know what to do but I'm unsure on how I should go about doing it. I've considered two options: waiting until I am eighteen and save money to schedule a visit with a psychologist or telling half-truths so that I may see someone for my depression. I'm leaning on the latter because it has become to the point where I think about it obsessively, but I'm going off on a tangent here. Could anyone help my mind come to a solid consensus on how to go about this?

Here is a list of observations I've made of myself for those interested:

Specific pattern of clothing, I wear specific outfits in varying orders throughout the weekdays.

I enjoy food plain or very lightly spiced, I used to have a sensory issue that would make my mouth tingle and "lock" up if a flavor was strong. I have it every now and then but it's rather rare to happen.

When a plate enters the sink, I consider it "disgusting" to even think about it being reused until it has been properly washed.

Sensitivity to cold, I very rarely have the A/C on in my car because it makes my body feel rigid and uncomfortable.
There are certain sounds that I find particularly maddening, (buzz of a fly, heavy bass in music, and few other things that I consider obnoxious.)

I have a very broad range of interests, but I have an encyclopedic knowledge of each thing I have become interested in: psychology and sociology, structure of language, biology, pharmacology, meteorology, philosophy and ethical theory, civilization and history, astronomy, theoretical physics, relativity, American law, and the list goes on. There were times in my earlier youth that I dabbled in Latin by stealing my brother's Latin text books. I never fully learned how to speak it, but it has definitely helped me understand the romantic languages and English words with Latin origin without really knowing the definition or language.

I am abysmal with mathematics partially because I am heavily uninterested in the courses provided, although I have regained interest in it as of late with my calculus class.

People have told me that I lack expression and my voice is monotone even though I feel otherwise. I've come to terms with it and accepted that my perception of self is not always correct.

In addition to lack of expression, my humor is generally misinterpreted as being serious, and has gotten me into awkward positions where I had to explain myself.

I absolutely detest social situations, I actively avoid when the social situation entails large crowds of people.
A lot of phrases require myself to analyze the context in which the word is used and why it is used. I used never really understood phrases, "like shooting fish in a barrel," because I'd ask myself, "why would fish be in a barrel in the first place?" I'd be over-analytical of things people say, and I still am, but I've become faster at understanding things people say.

There are certain textures and sounds associated with the textures that used to make my body cringe even at the thought of it: cotton and the sound of rubbing cotton together, the feeling of felt, feeling of chalk, chalkboards, and the sound of chalk running against chalkboards. I hated it and I am so glad I'll never have to deal with chalk again.

As previously stated, I was professionally diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, severe (and later clinical) depression, and recently with anxiety partially because I don't display the emotional response to anxiety, I just feel anxiety physically, if that makes sense.

Handwriting has been awful up until last year when I made an active attempt to improve it. I remember my mother making me repeatedly write out numbers because it was almost impossible to know what I was writing if you weren't me.

In regards to the diagnosis, I was twelve at the time, and I recall having a near-genius I.Q. in language, below average in maths, and an overall score of 115. I really don't find I.Q. to be a great measurement of intelligence, but I guess psychologists would promptly disagree with me.

I lack empathy and understanding on how to help someone going through a rough time. I typically offer advice from an objective stance, but people rarely listen to my advice which is something that I have trouble understanding. Why do people only want to hear good things? There is a reason why someone feels the way that they do, and telling someone that it's, "going to be alright," is not really going to help anything but offer temporary consolation. I want to offer possible solutions to problems, not tell them nice things.

I very rarely engage in social activity as previously stated. I could be seen as schizotypal, but it's not that I make a conscious choice in avoiding people, I just feel much happier with having to deal with less people than an average person would typically enjoy.

My longest "romantic" relationship was six months, and the reason for failure has been a rather common theme throughout most of them: "too weird," which is a blow to my self-esteem and I'm currently at a point where I haven't tried to look for another partner because I deem it a waste of time and energy.

Sometimes I make references to (minor) details that others don't really remember.

I structure my day in groups of hours. 5:50-7:20, I ready myself for school; 7:20-40, I drive to school; 7:40-2:50, I attend school. 2:50-1:10, I research topics, play video games, drink my daily cup of coffee, or maybe if I am lonely, I talk to someone for a few hours. My daily structure become much more complex when my parents are out of town, and it does make me anxious and upset when others don't seem to care much about punctuality.

There are times when I cannot articulate my thoughts into words, ( I think in images and words,) and it becomes really discouraging when I want to talk to someone about something to the point where I have begun writing my thoughts and planning out my conversation before I talk to someone about it, or I simply draw it on a piece of paper what I am thinking to help others visualize what I too am thinking.

In regards to the tactile sensory issues associated with the spectrum, most of my early issues with this have dissipated, but I do still have issues with hearing, observing constantly, and interpreting pain.

Anyways, I could go on forever and I doubt that any of you care about my autobiography. I would appreciate any insight that you can offer my self, but I feel that I am detracting from the point with the list provided: how do I overcome the embarrassment asking my parents to bring me to a specialist so I may be diagnosed? Like I said: I know what I have to do and I know why I want to do it, but I lack the courage to do it, and the why of that is something I can't really understand.

I lack empathy and understanding on how to help someone going through a rough time. I typically offer advice from an objective stance, but people rarely listen to my advice which is something that I have trouble understanding. Why do people only want to hear good things? There is a reason why someone feels the way that they do, and telling someone that it's, "going to be alright," is not really going to help anything but offer temporary consolation. I want to offer possible solutions to problems, not tell them nice things. (OP Quote)

People who are going through rough times do often say they want advice, though in my experience, they really want to be listened to, with care and attention, rather than receive opinions and advice. Feeling listened to may be more important to them than you realise.

You could try reflecting what they are saying to you, instead of instant advice giving as a response choice, and see if it works better in that situation. Reflecting shows we are listening with our full attention. Here is a simple example to illustrate what happens when you use reflection rather than advice mode in a conversation with a distressed person:

Other person:
I don't know what to do about this ongoing problem I am having with so and so, it is making me really sad.
You (in reflecting mode):
I can see how sad you are feeling. It's gone on for a long time without any change.
Other person:
Yes it has. I wonder if it will ever end.
You:
I know that feeling, when things drag on and on, it's not good.
Other person:
Thank you for listening
You:
Thanks for sharing with me.

When I was diagnosed, the doctor said that my detailed understanding of what diagnosis implies fulfills one the criteria of dx. You remind me a lot of myself. When I was 17, there was no internet, so I spent long, happy hours in the library, researching what ever caught my attention. The internet is a game-changer because you can get up to date information on anything, and there's a lot of crap to sift through that we never had to deal with when book publishers got to control information by deciding what to publish and what to ignore.

If I was in your situation... I think that I would have benefited best from going to a therapist and sharing my concerns. So, to me, your option of requesting time with a therapist to address depression is probably your best bet. Actually, I might use the word anxiety instead. Because that's not a lie. You are feeling somewhat anxious about this potential diagnosis. I can see it in how you write, and in the intensity in which you have applied your learning about it. Once you are in a therapists office, and within the bounds of confidentiality, be open and honest about your conclusions. Let the therapist help you figure out te best way to approach your parents. They might even be willing to do the asking.

I have also heard of some people having success with loved ones by giving them that aspie quiz from online and asking them to fill it out as they think you might answer. Of course, this assumes that they have been noticing your quirks. But that's a nice way to have them realize on their own that you fit the profile. If you've been researching autism that much on line, I'm sure you've come across the aspie quiz. It's by far the most accurate online and it results in a nifty little chart that shows where you typical skills and neurodiverse skills fall in comparison to one another. When they take the quiz and recognize that you are typical of autism 1, you can then have a conversation.

Other people have done the same with a book on autism in highly intelligent people. Give you parents the book, tell them you were surprised to see how much of it applied to you, and ask for their opinion. Do they think that this might be you?

Both of these methods work around the normal human tendency to deny and push away new information by asking your parents to come to their own conclusion. This activates the rational problem solving part of their brain and makes it more likely that they will see what you see.

If your self-descriptions are accurate and observable by diagnosticians, it would seem that you have the requisite autism Triad of Impairments (social interaction, verbal and non-verbal communication, and restricted and repetitive behaviors). You most certainly have done your homework.

If I were you, I would remind your parents that you have already been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, depression and anxiety. I would describe to them how these diagnoses are among the most common comorbids connected with autism. At that point, I would describe the survey of research that you have done about autism, the results of some self-reported autism screening tests, and, finally, your desire to pursue an autism diagnosis to better help you adapt to your autistic behaviors and characteristics. Give them time to consider your discussion.

The affordability of an autism diagnosis ranges from about $250 to $2,500 with most able diagnosticians charging about $1,000 to $1,500. The price reflects the cost of the tests involved. The ADOS-2 series of diagnostic tests are among the very best. But, some independent clinicians can also provide good autism diagnoses for a much more affordable price. Unfortunately, these clinicians are too often lacking the kind of nuanced training that comes with the ability to diagnose autism accurately (especially in adults who, as you know, present their autistic behaviors and characteristics differently than children do).

So, I would advise speaking bluntly with your parents. They know enough about your comorbids already that tying up the comorbids in an accurate, overall diagnosis of autism would make sense. This is especially true if you hope to attend college and might need one or more autism-related educational supports and benefits. Alternatively, you could complete some self-reported screening tests where you score beyond threshold, and call it all good as a way for you to become self-identified as autistic. Many people do just that if they don't have access to good diagnosticians, can't afford a diagnosis, or live too far from a diagnostician.

What others have written here doesn't need repeating. You have already been given some great advice. Good luck with what ever you choose to do.

I appreciate the help. I took one of the resources listed here, or that I think was listed here. Three or four of the questions were too broad and lacked context to situations because I would say yes and no depending on the situation. Here's a printscreen of the results, which I cannot post as a new user. imgurcom/QFZtwlN I generally don't recognize online tests as a reliable diagnosis but I feel that a 163/200 is rather compelling, hahah ---- I've scheduled an appointment and was (mostly) forthcoming with my parents for the 28th of October, and I really do I learn something new about the self.

Hello. That's good that you have scheduled an appointment, assuming it's about talking about ASD. For me, I waited about a year before the thought of this was just too powerful and I needed to know. You are the same age as me, and I told myself that it'd be easier for me to be diagnosed as "a kid" than to wait until I'm an adult, due to it being harder to find people trained in adult ASD. This was one of the big reasons for me getting it. My parents paid a lot of money for my assessment, but was very thorough and am relieved that I got it done now than later.

When I looked at your imgur image, I was just personally surprised how high your neurotypical score was for such a high neurodiverse score. It was just my observation.

Which could be a reason why I have gone so long without being diagnosed, I don't know to exactly interpret the number as there isn't a metric for comparison. I've had a lot of therapy in for anger-related issues, ADHD, (clinical and severe,) depression, and anxiety so I know how to act accordingly and cope with a lot that used to happen quite frequently. I'm a very observational person, I don't engage myself in a lot of social activity, but when I do, people tend to make comments that I'm: 1) too serious, 2) condescending, 3) arrogant, 4) rude and never allow the other person to speak, (especially in debates,) or mention my "macabre" sense of humor. Most of my social interaction is involved with people who are much older than me because I feel much more comfortable talking to these people, although authority figures make me nervous even though I haven't done anything wrong, but I assume it's because my mind subconsciously associates them with yelling which used to really set off a lot of anxiety when I was twelve up until about fourteen or fifteen.