Lazy v/s self care... where to draw the line...

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How do you know if you are being lazy or not?

I am a person who needs a decent amount of time set aside each day to decompress. If I do not do that, it takes a toll on me. I know this and try to make sure I get some down time in.

I know that things like leaving my house make me need more down time. Also, changes in my spouses schedule throw a wrench into my internal tick tock workings. The last few months have put me in a place where not only have I gone out more than usual, but my spouse started back up with work and school full time. I rarely even know what day it is anymore, much less what I want to get done in a day. This stuff has kinda messed me up a bit. Not having a schedule of my own has me all messed up, but I can't seem to find the motivation to stop it and stick to stopping it.

Normally I would just be patient with myself and ride it out, but my need for extra down time is not letting up, rather it seems to be getting worse. It no longer seems helpful to me, rather hurtful as I am getting annoyed with myself for all that I am not doing in a day.

I'd like to be a more productive person, but I'm not sure how to do that right now. It's a bit overwhelming to me to think of where to start, but I want to start. I'm thinking a short list of tasks would be beneficial to me right about now, with designated down time between each task, and see how I handle that.

Backstory aside...

Anyone else do this kinda thing? How do you know if you are being lazy or practicing self care... where do you draw that line? Also, any ideas on how to stop this kind of thing would be appreciated as well.

These could be my words exactly. Kiddo began school, the summer break is over, DH goes on with his very full work-and-friends schedule and I feel just... lost.

But then, for me, I thank the ADHD meds. They provide me just enough focus in order for me to make and stick to my bullet journal. Do you know that?
http://bulletjournal.com/

Really handy.

It allows me to make a schedule and prioritize. Most of all it provides me with insight in how balanced my giving to others vs giving to myself (self-care) is. Like time for movement (yoga, gym, walking, dance), fun time w friends (including this forum), work/art etc. Vs time for my family, housekeeping, errands, caring for friends etc.

Sure there still are ba/ed days where I sleep badly at night so I need to catch up during the day which means that I do just the bare minimum. But I try to at least get some movement and write in my journal, listen to music and read something.

By just writing down what I did provides myself with hard evidence that I am not lazy.

(of course my case is a bit different cos having kiddo, DH & cat to take care of is actually giving me enough to do so I don't feel lazy)

I got to know you as a really lovely caring person that likes words, so maybe use those strengths to your advantage?

Hugs

I never know. Black and white thinking makes this very difficult for me. I am either productive or I am not.... Normally I start swapping to self care when my Sensory Processing troubles amplify and get too intense, since that means I need to rest. I run myself into the ground but when I am "LAZY" I crash... might even call it a depression.

For me, not being productive to give myself a break lasts at most 2 days if it falls on a weekend, usually 1 day or less if on a weekday, like I might blow off the rest of the day after lunch.
The next day, I get back to being productive.
Something that lasts longer, gets worse over time, and does not seem to be in your control is not self care.
Maybe depression, or some cycle that you got stuck in.
See what happens if you give yourself several things to do on a Monday, then go do them.
Maybe several errands that take you out of the house.

Lazy doesn't feel good to me. Lazy makes me feel greasy and mentally foggy. Self-care lets me feel the "buzz" of being over stimulated. I feel more relaxed afterwards and more able to handle social and work challenges.

When you feel like you need a lazy day, try doing some small piece of a job - stacking the dishes if you don't actually wash the dishes, starting a load of laundry.

It can sometimes set the ball rolling in the right direction.

The word "lazy" is a pejorative, and I think it never is useful to beat yourself up. Try not to call yourself bad words, even though you might think you deserve them. You have to be your own best advocate.

Sounds more like needing time for yourself. No way I'd even make it through a day with all those things going on.

Edit: I mentally merged OP with the one right below it (:oops:) , which made it sound even more chaotic. Even so, I stick to my original reply.

when i can include in my routine an average of an hour a day or so exercising by myself while i listen to music, that's what i try to prioritize. other things tend to fall into place when i do that. the problem for me is usually getting to the point where i can do it regularly (and then maintain it, of course. it usually doesn't last more than a couple weeks). but then asking myself "what is keeping me from exercising regularly at this point" usually helps (sometimes it's up to me, sometimes it's not. and the question works as a concrete way for me to picture and realize it)

Some people say "Lazy"

I just hear "You haven't done enough for ME lately"

Thank you all for your thoughts on this.

Sometimes it is easy for me to draw that line. Heart rate being too high, a series of events that happen back to back in one day... I know then that down time is what is needed to be okay. Sometimes it is easy as well to know when I have had enough down time because I feel better, can think straight, and so on. Then I have flat out lazy days where I feel fine but maybe I really just want to sit around and maybe do nothing but a puzzle or 20. Heh. I happen to be a fan of taking a day or two here and there to do nothing in general. So long as nothing important is being neglected, I figure why not. I like to think I usually do an ok job of balancing down time and productive time. Sometimes though it falls apart on me and I have no idea why.

Yesterday, it would seem that I did need more down time. I managed to get myself up and moving and accomplished quite a bit. Instead of feeling better, I made things worse. By evening I was still struggling to put a sentence together and that was after hiding in my room for a few hours. Sometimes I figure out if it is self care or me being a down time embracing person, by messing myself up by trying to do stuff. I'm still a bit off today, but tons better so that's nice.

I wanted to reply to some things mentioned here, but I've been staring at the screen for awhile now and it doesn't seem to be happening for me. I will try again later for that. Thanks again.

I don't believe that there is any such thing as "laziness," at least not in the negative sense. Any reason a person has for not doing something is a legitimate reason.