NT phrases or questions that drive you nuts!

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Just a few off the top of my head:

"Hi! how are you doing?"............This one drives me absolutely bonkers. Firstly, the NT doesn't give a rat's ass how I am doing, and useless talk is annoying! as well as being.... USELESS!! If I were to actually sit down with that grocery clerk or whoever and explain to them exactly how I am doing, it would take half an hour and he'd wind up in a psychiatric wing of a hospital for a 3 day observation.

"Good Morning!".....................Maybe for you. I can't remember the last time I had a "good" anything other than a good sized heap of troubles. At least I'm not alone in life... Yet.

"Who do you think will win the championship?".....................HUH? What? Unless there is some competition to describe dark energy and dark matter in glorious nerd-gasm detail, I have no interest in testosterone-fueled sweating men chasing balls and jumping on top of each other. Gross.

I'm sure there are tons more, please post one or two of the ones that really get under your skin. Thanks.

I got one!

How about - So, how are you doing?

Crap. You already did that one.

Ok, here's one. Can you smile and give me some eye contact please?

"What's up?"

I never know how to respond to it. Like, am I supposed to just say, "Hi," or am I supposed to tell them about what's been going on since the last time we saw each other (which is usually nothing significant)? Or I could just say, "The ceiling," but I can't do that every time, can I? O.o

"It'll be good for you." - said by NTs who want you to do something that's way outside your comfort zone, and very seldom turns out to be good for you.

^ Mr Alaska?

All I could picture when I read that was your NT friend in a male beauty pageant wearing a "Mr Alaska" sash.

You must believe/trust/do X because [...] is doing it. And why would that be a good reason?

You can't just [...] And why not?

What little world are you dreaming about? As if you really want to know.

I have invited all my friends to a barbecue tomorrow afternoon, do you want to come along? The answer is always no, just like last time.

What did you do on the weekend? Things you'd find terribly boring.

Yes I agree, but [...] Please get to the point. I'm quite happy to disagree and leave your opinion intact.

Did you see the [...] game on TV last night? No, I never watch any games.

Where are you from? I often doubt whether I got off the bus on the right planet. But that's not the answer you're looking for.

What's up?

I hated this question for a long time, and now I normally say "nothing much" if there's nothing interesting going on in my life, like there usually isn't. Or does my daily life really interest you that much? Perhaps if I answer "the sky" enough times, they'll get annoyed and stop with this meaningless question.

Have a nice day

You have to go along to get along

i dislike "newspeak"
i hate it that everyone now says "oh my god" in the same way at the drop of a hat.

i do not like the phrase "it's just awesome" because it conveys nothing to me except for the fact that the issuer of the comment has a limited vocabulary with which to paint their idea.

a new phrase that has come into parlance is "the wow factor". well i do not know what makes you say "wow" so i i just will hop off your train of thought there thanks.

i also hear the phrase "friend zone" used too much and i just think "f****n' whatever" when i hear it.

then there is the phrase "go to" used as a complete description. eg: yeah yoga is my "go to" when i feel stressed.
such corruption of language is alarming since it is taking over most of the world.

"gobsmacked" is another one. when i hear people talking on the tv trying to say what they felt and they say, "i was just........................." i always know in advance that they are going to say "gobsmacked"

Several of the ones already mentioned in this thread.

I know it's already taken, but "How are you?" when they really mean "Hello" is a big one. When you just mean to greet me, greet me. Say hi. That suffices.

I also find statements like "quiet, but bright" rather than "quiet and bright" really annoying as they make it sound like the terms exclude each other and aren't just meant to be two words that describe a person.

"Smile, it might never happen" or any variation of that. Leave my "resting b***h" face alone.

The term "and all that jazz" is irritating. I've only seen it used in ways that make it sound dismissive.

This is grammar, and not a phrase, but I find it annoying when people use then and than wrong.
Statements that are incorrect such as "invertebrates like snakes" and "a bacteria called amoeba" also grate on my patience. How do people expect to be taken seriously when they get such basic facts wrong?

It also really annoys me when NTs complain about me taking a word "too literally" when they use the wrong word. Considering how touchy they are when things aren't said the way they think it should be said, you'd think they'd also see how an incorrect word or a synonym that is too far from a better word changes their statement.

'cheer up, it might never happen'

It has happened, it is happening, it will happen again

i hate it when people say they are "like" something.
i always think. "well if you are only like it, then you must not be it"
eg: i was like totally excited.
so you were only similar to it and not the same as it?
what difference do you experience from what you say you are only "like" to what you say you are "like"?
you are so silly i can not be bothered to wait for your answer.
no need to think you, coz i don't care anyway.
totally like something is the same as being it.

Any variation on "How are you/How're you doing?" drives me nuts too. It's only been distressingly late in life that I finally cottoned-on that I'm not supposed to actually TELL them exactly how I am. Someone was honest with me and had to tell me that when I was in my early 30s. Even now, I can still tend to forget and answer literally with real information, especially if there's something to actually tell other than "fine." I have to watch myself constantly.

Another annoying convention: "So what do you do?" (for a living). Some people think this is nothing more than a friendly way to keep the chit chat going. But just as many times as not, it's also used as a way to size you up and get an instant Polaroid snapshot of who they think you are, all in one instant package.

The problem I have with that is, the majority of people who work are not doing work they love, work that suits them, or work that actually says anything about "who" they really are as people. It's just a fact -- there are more grunt jobs in this world that have to be filled by someone, than "this is my dearest passion" jobs. For every actor or singer or symphony violinist or wildlife specialist or even doctor or charity worker, there are thousands of street cleaners, office pen pushers living for the weekend, store clerks, etc.

I wish the convention was more to ask someone "So what are your hobbies and passions, what do you love to do?" Because what you love and what really makes you tick is not usually your job.

So autistic people never say those same things? What do they say instead that's better?

I hate cutesy baby speak.
I was reading an article on how to care for ferrets to prepare for getting one as a pet, and instead of just referring to them as "ferrets" you get all this putrid baby speak - "fuzzy wuzzle bums," "fur bubbies," "fuzzies."
Similarly grinding are the rhyming variety - I have a relative who does this for everything and it drives me bats. Instead of just saying she enjoyed her food, she'll say sh!t like "yummy yummy in my tummy wummy."
Just don't. We're not infants, it's not cute.