When family is the trigger

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Here I was feeling good that my meltdown streak ended yesterday, and next thing I know I'm in tatters again. Mother and brother are extremely close with each other, almost like an old married couple, which leaves me odd man out, as if that's something new. When they don't have somewhere to be, which is almost all the time anymore, my mother turns on the radio to a station that actually calls itself "The Playlist" - and it must be a 128K one. It's all music that has been played to death and it's the same thing every day. I can hear the bass booming through the wall when I'm trying to work in the garage and distance myself. My days are SO much better when I have a house call to meet, it keeps me from the negative energy for a few hours. My younger brother will occasionally stop playing with his phone to stroll the premises in his 'Lord of the manor' role to act as self-appointed liaison and point out my faults. He will do things like open the doors when I am freezing and enable the younger, bigger cat to steal the older, smaller cat's food. As a result I have to put out 3 or 4 cans a day to make sure the older cat eats. He fancies himself an Animal Care Specialist, yet has his clients' dogs acquiring our dogs' bad habits like high pitched screechy barking which is like knitting needles in my temples and eye sockets. Any time I try to mention Things That Would Make More Sense I might as well have antennae growing out of my head.

My depression and anxiety went from like a 2 to a 9 today, managed to stop JUST short of the self injury, but I was really close.

I don't see any options for a more conducive living arrangement at this time, I suppose I'll have to go to the library with my phone on silent, but it's been too nice outside to spend time indoors, and I feel like why should I have to sit on my projects and they get to do whatever F-all they want?

the best fix for noise pollution I've yet found is headphones, preferably noise canceling, and soothing music of my own choice.

You're 40. Move out.

Easier said than done these days (especially if you live in the UK, not quite sure what goes on with the government in the US of A).

papa's voice is a meltdown trigger for me. we have to talk to eachother through instant messaging. it sucks couse he is also my caregiver.

Yeah. Good lord, dude, it really IS hard. Many Aspies can't live on their own. Not that living on your own isn't a good goal to work toward--I highly recommend it--but being 40 years old is not an automatic indicator that one is capable of immediately moving out. If you had said "You're 40; you could live on your own; what sort of plan could you make that would let you do that?" then that would have made more sense.

I hate the bass thing too. And it can be so frustrating because even when they play at a reasonable volume you can still feel the bass.

Check that radio--maybe you can turn the bass down, so they don't get so much bass and those low-frequency sound waves don't come through the walls as much. The music quality should still be reasonably good, hopefully enough to satisfy the music-lovers in the house and allow you to get by with just earplugs.

It's a good thing that your cats have you around. Ensuring that the smaller cat is getting food is a good thing. Have you considered setting up a feeding station in a place that the larger cat can't get to? I have two cats, one of which is larger, younger, and boisterously playful; and while they share a food bowl without problems, the larger cat often wants to play when the older, smaller cat wants to be left alone; so I have provided lots of small hideaways that the smaller cat fits into, but the larger cat can't. She simply slips into one of them when he gets too annoying. I give him some extra play time to work off his energy, and they get along fine. If you want advice on cats, you should go to thecatsite.com, if you haven't already; there are a lot of "crazy cat people" there who can give different perspectives on how to get your two cats to play nice together.

What's the nature of your projects? Possible to do them elsewhere? Perhaps go to the library, retrieve books, read them at the park? Suggest you get a lot of exercise--that is great for keeping depression away--not a cure, but good for prevention. Walking works just as well as more intense exercise.

I appreciate all the input. And the post who said to move out; BTDT. At the time the rent was cheap enough split 3 ways. I did not have some of the same interests then as I do now, so the only real option there is find 3 or 4 other aspies with at least a couple of my interests or even different ones that mesh. I shared an apartment with 2 other guys, 1 was a raging alcoholic and the other was a Baby Huey who kept stealing my groceries, having blown his SSI on pot every check.

Callista I wish they had a feeding station for canned cat food! He only eats the kind with gravy, I think he may be an aspie cat

Brother is pretty Nariccisist in general, he'll try to find a way to make the situation about him if someone gets the slightest bit of recognition. When I posted I was frustrated that since the store where he worked closed he sees no need to get back into the rhythm. I gauged whether he might be aspie; much too social, has no routine and no special interests, just a pothead. Still a bully much of the time just the same. He does the Salesman's Smile, 'look at ME, going to church", yes ma'am no ma'am - all the while engaging in activities he was supposed to have given up. I guess if someone in the house were to ask me what I was angry about, I want to say; look at all this stuff they're doing and they don't ever get caught.

Still at this point: better the devil you know, than the devil you don't know. I'm proposing that maybe a way to get them to back off is tell them I got up feeling like crap

Stop shaming people, bigot. It's his choice if he wants to live with his family.

The last post that person made was Dec. 14 2014 so your response was moot. Plus this is a zombie thread so even more moot.

Lol do you even know what the word 'moot' means?

Pointless.

Is "more moot" the correct usage? Or should it be "mooter"?

I have no idea. I remember that was the word I kept on seeing online so I looked it up to see what it meant and what I got out of it was that it meant pointless, it's over, redundant, irrelevant. So when someone doesn't even come here anymore, there is no point in responding to their post.