Am I Autistic?

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A few months ago, I was 17 at the time, I went to a psychiatrist who specializes in ASD after collecting my symptoms and realizing there were enough there to necessitate some concern. After being analyzed on two separate days, she concluded that my functioning was consistent with that of someone with ASD, but did not formally diagnose me with Autism. She diagnosed me with "Depressive mood disorder with mood-incongruent psychotic features." A frustratingly vague diagnosis. In short, she told me I had the functioning of an Autistic person and dealt with the same struggles, but because I also had symptoms of "x" psychosis, she did not formally diagnose me with autism because the two things usually do not co-exist. Her explanations were very rapid and confusing, leaving me feeling even less satisfied than when I went in. She also harped on me showing many symptoms of schizophrenia, only to (sort of?) rule it out because I showed symptoms of another thing that is not often seen in people with schizophrenia. It was all very confusing, I couldn't catch it all clearly. I'll lay out some of the things that lead my mother and I to believe I may be autistic in the first place. I have trichotillomania, I often have involuntary movements (such as hand flapping and moving) that increase when I'm stressed, I struggle to feel empathy and read emotions, I don't really understand or part take in non-verbal communication such as facial expressions and vocal inflections. I'm emotionally distant, sometimes detached, and can't keep up with a social relationship. I was taken out of school at 13 to be homeschooled due to social difficulties. I am very ritualistic and shut down if my routine is interrupted. I have tunnel vision as far as my interests go, if I enjoy something, for months I will exclusively enjoy that one thing. I take things literally and am blunt, both to the point where it frustrates people. The forementioned psychiatrist told me I show signs of "atypicality." I feel completely unable to form bonds with people who are not my mother, so much so that I have been compared to "Norman Bates" (thankfully only by other teenagers, not professionals) and I am not that interested in doing so after several failed attempts. It is difficult for me to respond to people when they speak to me. I am eager to share my interests with my mother and can go on for hours on a single subject, or at least until someone stops me. I bring a rock with me some places when I'm nervous to help me. I stim in other ways. I often have episodes that include involuntary screaming, hitting myself in the head, and being outwardly destructive. They can be triggered by anything, can last for hours, and I feel like a different person when it is happening. I am overwhelmed with guilt and embarrassment when I come out of it. Lastly, and most strangely, when I was in 2nd grade during recess (I gravited towards adults as a child) I was talking to my teacher and another teacher and somehow aspergers came up. They started discussing whether or not I seemed like I had it. My teacher was convinced I did, while the other was not so sure, presumabley due to my appearance. It is not my opinion that there is an "autistic look", but it is the opinion of most others. I have a very average appearance. I believe my appearance will ultimately lead to my demise, people approach me wanting to be my friend because I appear neurotypical, only to completely abandon me and act like I don't exist after they realize what I am like. It is how %99 of my social overtures end. The doctor who was giving me medication a few months ago (I've since decided against medication) even said in response to my being tested, that you could tell when someone has Autism and implied I was "too pretty." I understand she was trying to flatter me because we were meeting for the first time but I have reason to believe this might have led to me being misdiagnosed. My mother was also asked by a few different people if I rocked back and forth as a child, which I didn't, and they acted like that was the deciding factor. As if one symptom was enough to sweep all my others under the rug. Anyways, do you think I was misdiagnosed? If not, if you struggle with any of the things I do or know someone that does, any opinions are appreciated. This has been a great burden on my mother and I. Thanks for reading.

You sound pretty typically autistic, especially for women, who tend to mimic others and blend in better. The best case scenario is that you get yourself to a doctor who specializes in autistic women.

It's possible that you have autism and schitzophrenia. You have to have had some visual or oral hallucinations in order to qualify for that. What made the doctor think that you fit that diagnosis?

I think it's difficult to say, astralplaneentrance, though you do seem to be on the spectrum. Have you considered getting a second opinion?

You could have a schizotypal or schizoid personality, your psychosis can be linked to major depression and not schizophrenia...best see an expert or two for a definitive diagnosis.

I just googled. Looks like they expanded the definition in the DSM V. Its still seems aweful iffy to me to be diagnosing someone with that serious of a disorder without the hallmarks of that disorder - namely the hallucinations and delusions typically associated with the disorder.

Under your definition, I and the vast majority of people here should be schitzophrenic because we disconnect while we are in a meltdown. And everyone who's ever dissociated, or has PTSD, or... the list of things this includes just goes on and on. My opinion, based on just a little exploration, is that the field is VASTLY over stepping it's bounds.