Irrational interaction worries

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The reality is I have no platonic friends, let alone ones wanting sex, and am highly unlikely to get any. There has been no sex for nearly 3 decades. Yet still I worry about the faint possibility of making friends with someone who sees sex as a part of it. The thought of sex makes me very anxious primarily because of my sexual ineptitude. When I did have sex I was completely useless at it .
I don't like people getting too close to me in case the question of sex rears its ugly head.

74 views and no replies. Will it reach a 100?

Lately most members are in the PPR forum discussing Trump, so fewer people are here discussing things that aren't American politics.

Maybe not call it irrational?

I have problems with figuring out who is being flirty and who isn't.

Usually when people get to know each other, they drop hints into the conversation like "my wife, husband, lover, kids..." but that doesn't mean they are or are not looking to cheat. Some singles are asexual and others aren't wanting to bed their friends. But how to tell???

I'm direct and I will tell people that I am not looking so don't bother trying. Not a perfect solution because most folks aren't that direct. Still better than leaving me guessing and confused.

I suppose that makes me look autistic... but I am autistic!

at least you had the opportunity to have sex with somebody willing, that is an accomplishment a lot of us can't seem to rate.

You mean FWB (friends with benefits)?



I used to have that problem but I don't really have it anymore. I've figured out that the stuff that will remove that anxiety can and should happen before sex becomes a realistic option. I mean that if we carefully choose the people we spend time with and communicate our needs, wants, and expectations, the other person (or people) will know that we do (or don't) want sex, what we feel comfortable doing, what we are (or aren't) experienced with or skilled at, how fast (or slow) the relationship should progress, and what to do (and not do) to help us feel comfortable.

It was something I found rather awkward. I was very erratic when it came to having sex ie lots of long lay offs, difficulty reaching climax-it dying before I did on numerous occasions.

Why do you care so much about sex? It's other like food. You won't die or anything if you don't have it.

It says right in the original post why firemonkey cares so much about sex: ineptitude.

I'm not understanding... :/ nvm tho I still respect your post.

You could maybe tell people from the beginning of a friendship that you aren't interested in sex? This way anyone who is interested in you that way will be 'weeded out' and you'll be left with people who want to be platonic.

Either that or you could try to overcome ineptitude by practicing with someone. There's nothing wrong with learning. Someday I'll learn too maybe! (NOT now though, I'm too anxious just thinking about it. But maybe someday.)

I care about people wanting sex if I ever get into the unlikely position of ever making friends with someone ,rather than I care about having sex from the sense of desperately wanting it. You don't go 26 years without sex if you are gagging for it all the time.
If sex was a telepathic rather than physical act that would suit me just fine.

when one gets into middle age, the difficulties you describe become more acute and chronic. hardening of the arteries is the #1 enemy of whoopee, and subclinical levels of testosterone [seems to be a common thing among male aspies] are enemy #2.

I was 26-33 when this was happening. I am GG for rs722208 CC for rs6258 http://www.mrbill.net/dna/results/23and ... andMe.html


I have no idea about my testosterone status. What I do know is I am not hirsute and not very muscular. When masturbating there have been more than a few occasions when I have ejaculated while still fairly limp.

that tells me your testosterone is probably good enough, as ejaculation or libido is absent sans testosterone. but you may have hardening of the arteries.

I would like to contradict the belief that ejaculation is absent when testosterone is low. There may be more problems with ejaculation but it can occur. I do know I have given up on occasion because I was getting nowhere. As for libido it may be low but isn't necessarily totally absent. I have no idea what constitutes high or low libido . I masturbate infrequently ie about once every 4-5 weeks or more.

I am not sure about hardening of arteries but do know my blood pressure is in what used to be a normal level but since they changed the guidelines falls into the prehypertension category(mine is between 120-130 usually, but sometimes lower). My psych team who monitor me because I am on a depot antipsychotic never worry about my bp.
An ECG earlier this year came back normal.

A possible confounding factor is prolactin. Mine ranges from just over 600 to just over 700 when the normal range for a male goes from 45-375 mlU/l

Whether this is connected to the risperdal or already present as a result of my having a schizophrenia related PD,I don't know.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27068570