Do your special interests cause you quilt?

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MagicMeerkat
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29 Oct 2016, 3:36 pm

I don't mean something that SHOULD cause you guilt like wanting to hurt people or topics that actually are taboo, but innocent obsessions/special interests such as certain movies or species of animals? My parents gave me HELL over my obsessions/special interests (my strongest autistic trait) and they were nothing a person should have to feel ashamed about. My mother would claim she needed a break from hearing about meerkats for the umpteenth time, yet she never took into consideration I might need a break from hearing her complain certain people or how the world was so unsafe because she said so. (And my mother wonders why I was so paranoid as a kid) Anyhow, I eventually developed new
interests/obsessions she never knew about and I was very careful who I shared my obsessions/special interests with. I wasn't going to let her (or anyone) cause negative associations with them. But sometimes I notice that I feel guilty when looking (or even thinking) of some of the obsessions I never told my mother about. I know it's silly and I just ignore it. But, is it a common thing to feel guilt over special interests because people gave you a hard time for them when you were younger?


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SerinaSings
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29 Oct 2016, 3:49 pm

Yeah, my dad used to give me grief that "if only I would spend as much time [doing whatever he thought was valuable] as I did watching Star Trek/talking about Star Trek/playing Star Trek The Card Game/Star Trek etc., then I could really achieve something. I still sometimes feel guilty, like I could be doing something more valuable with my time to achieve some goal, but I am (have been) trying to get over this.

I used to dream of getting a job as a fact checker or consistency checker on Star Trek, to put all my trivial knowledge to good use getting a pay check, to make both me and my dad happy.



TheSilentOne
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29 Oct 2016, 4:50 pm

Sometimes. I will feel guilty about talking about Doctor Who so much and spending my money on Doctor Who action figures and plushies and books. I feel like I should buy more "useful" stuff, but the moment I see something at Hot Topic or on Amazon, I feel like I need it, even if I don't.


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fourcandles
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29 Oct 2016, 5:57 pm

I used to shut down my interests if they didn't have a practical application, thinking "I shouldn't be wasting time on this" or "I shouldn't be interested in this". A few years ago I started getting interested in video game engines, but ended up convincing myself that it was stupid because I don't actually play video games much. The problem, of course, is that the things I felt I "should" be interested in, didn't interest me at all, so I ended up doing nothing. I'm starting to realise now that my brain may just be different, so I've been letting myself off the hook recently, and just going with whatever I feel drawn to. But it's still a lot of time wasted on trying to do the "right" thing, especially when it turned out not to be.



C2V
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30 Oct 2016, 7:00 am

I never much cared for quilting :wink:


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Raleigh
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30 Oct 2016, 7:25 am

^ does not caring cause you a quilt complex?


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30 Oct 2016, 5:56 pm

TheSilentOne wrote:
Sometimes. I will feel guilty about talking about Doctor Who so much and spending my money on Doctor Who action figures and plushies and books. I feel like I should buy more "useful" stuff, but the moment I see something at Hot Topic or on Amazon, I feel like I need it, even if I don't.


You really could be describing me. I've got more posters than wall space. I've cut down a lot in recent years, however, and my most recent "obsession" is nail polish, on which I managed to spend around £40 in three weeks last winter - we're talking about 25 bottles here. I've bought more throughout the year.

I do feel guilty sometimes, but I have to wonder whether it's just a symptom of my depression. My special interests (remember at this point I am yet to receive a formal diagnosis) are really important to me. I never remember feeling guilty over them in the past. When I buy things, they're always important to me. I don't feel guilt over purchases. Sometimes I get some sort of feeling that I'm annoying people by talking to them about special interests, but at the same time I need to tell someone.

Guilt? Perhaps. I can't be certain. I have a lot of trouble identifying emotions. It makes counselling and doctor appointments really difficult.


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Starfoxx
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30 Oct 2016, 6:00 pm

I don't feel guilty for my interests but sometimes they get in the way. I would prefer to be able to practice socialising and get good at it because that's useful but I get distracted easily because of my interests.



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30 Oct 2016, 6:03 pm

Yeah, sometimes. Because my parents criticize my interests a lot.


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drlaugh
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30 Oct 2016, 6:09 pm

Is it guilt or quilt.

I never quilted. I'd do needle point and make dream catchers/mandalas.

Been playing ukulele before they were cool.
People seem to think I have a lot of harmonicas. (I bring around 20 different tuned harps to jams or gigs)
One never knows when a F #(sharp) will come in handy.


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Starfoxx
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30 Oct 2016, 6:18 pm

drlaugh wrote:
Is it guilt or quilt.

I never quilted. I'd do needle point and make dream catchers/mandalas.

Been playing ukulele before they were cool.
People seem to think I have a lot of harmonicas. (I bring around 20 different tuned harps to jams or gigs)
One never knows when a F #(sharp) will come in handy.


That's cool. I don't really know how to make much.



rats_and_cats
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30 Oct 2016, 6:34 pm

I used to be super guilty about being a brony. I hid my interest. My family knew I watched the show after school, but I was afraid if they knew I looked at (clean) fanart and videos and was generally actually involved in the fandom, they would disown me. I was resistant to the idea of identifying as a brony myself, until I started seeing the fandom for myself. This was during the time when bronies were all over the news and were being portrayed as reclusive perverts or pedophiles. I didn't know how much my mom knew about the fandom, which is nothing like what the media showed it as. Then I received a Rainbow Dash plush for Christmas and realized they'd figured it out and were okay with it. She was still worried about the fandom and objected to me going to conventions, but now she's okay with that too and I'm hoping to go to my first ponycon this summer.

I was the same way with Undertale until recently. Mom doesn't understand it but is at least 56% sure it's harmless, my brother likes the memes, my sister doesn't care.

I used to be really addicted to Warrior Cats so I feel kind of guilty about still enjoying it. I swore off it forever for years, but then everybody was talking about how good Dawn of the Clans was and I picked up a book out of curiosity. It's not getting in the way of schoolwork though like it was before. Not more than anything else anyway.

I think any new interest of mine starts with a guilt phase at first. I wonder if there's some Freudian reason.



The_Dark_Citadel
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31 Oct 2016, 12:52 am

Nope. And that's probably a good thing. As far as my parents and keepers see it, if it is something that is pleasurable and can help with communication, it's cool in their book. :D


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31 Oct 2016, 6:00 am

TheSilentOne wrote:
Sometimes. I will feel guilty about talking about Doctor Who so much and spending my money on Doctor Who action figures and plushies and books. I feel like I should buy more "useful" stuff, but the moment I see something at Hot Topic or on Amazon, I feel like I need it, even if I don't.

I went to hot topic to buy a squirtle bottle at my local mall, It broke before, and walked out the door, after dropping it only twice.


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CockneyRebel
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31 Oct 2016, 8:22 am

They did when I was in my teens. I was made to feel like a freak for having special interests by my family members. I'm pretty sure that my mum secretly wanted me cured because of my special interests. She tried to take them away from me in 1998 when I had a mental breakdown. The reason I had that breakdown was because I was shamed for having special interests in the first place and the fact that I have gender issues.


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CockneyRebel
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31 Oct 2016, 8:26 am

I'm not sure they cause me to quilt. They do cause me to paint, draw and craft. I have great plans to make a Sgt. Schultz doll as well. They've never really caused me to quilt, though. :wink:


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