How do you function?

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For those functional folks - how do you do it? Considering all the autistic-ness that goes on?
Not really sure what kind of answer I'm searching for here, but attempting to get an idea of what "functional" looks like for an autistic. How would you describe it? How do you manage it?
I don't function at all, never really have except for short bursts in the past that end up crashing and burning into long periods of complete nothing, just life-paralysis.
Which makes me less than optimistic about ever functioning in the future. It seems to me if I was going to, I'd have done so by now, and there is no reason to believe I will be capable of same in the future.
So, I'm curious as to how functional autistics are able to maintain the state, or have any ideas on how to do so for those who don't.

That's incredibly hard to define because autism affects everyone so differently.
I generally track my progress with a checklist.
Bare minimum:
I haven't committed suicide.
Every living thing in my care is alive.
I still have my scholarship.
I still have my job.
I still have friends.

Doing okay:
I'm keeping up with hygiene.
My room is liveable.
I'm making good food choices.
I've made something creative.

Doing excellent:
My room is presentable.
I socialize on purpose.
I can achieve flow when I'm doing something creative.

That's what functioning means to me personally. I can't say how I go from bare minimum to doing excellent, sometimes it's me kicking my own rear into gear (panic) and sometimes something happens that elevates my mood enough to accomplish more. Sometimes it's just getting past the week or making it to the next break.

I've been able to avoid or work through burnout by finding things that help me get to a better frame of mind: music, books, repetitive tasks like coloring and Minecraft, and exercise.

When I'm functioning at all at anything other than special interest I love, it's with a high level of struggle and forcing which in itself is stressful.

When my parents were still alive and I still lived with them, I pretty much wasn't functioning at all for literally years on end. I could make a long post about the details but it boils down to I "just couldn't" do anything. That's not adequate for an answer but to go into more detail would not feel comfortable to me on this board of people some of whom are cynical and unkind.

The only times in which and ways in which I've "functioned" at all in a way that looks like "normal functioning" from the outside, is by pushing myself HARD. Which feels genuinely miserable. Jobs I couldn't bear, didn't want, I just pushed every day to keep going because there was no alternative. Living situations that aren't good ones, goals I had that involved more sociality than I wanted, I just pushed and pushed myself. That's how I functioned.

But I've always "paid the price" in the form of burnouts, exhaustion, shut downs, melt downs, catatonic-like states which I don't mean the clinical definition but more the colloquial use of the word "catatonic." If I was working many hours per week at a highly social job, the price I paid was that I couldn't function at all at the weekends, things like that.

At the moment I'm not functioning well at all. There are things I could describe that I'm not comfortable putting out there on the internet forever, unable to delete. It's that bad right now.

Yes I'm still living, breathing, eating (crap diet) and taking care of animals but more than I take care of myself lately. Work situation is actually in crisis.

I don't call that good functioning.

This is why it pisses me off when somebody on here makes out like if you are of "only Asperger's/level 1" then your "impairments" "barely exist."

Come and see what it's cost me to try and just have a normal life and tell me I "barely" deal with autism. No I'm not level 2 or 3 and needing 24/7 carers, but things can fall apart for a level 1 person too, even when they have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and TRIED to be "functional."

^ Yep, I think we're alike in those ways.
The brief periods I have been functional likely led to the long periods of being nonfunctional. I tend to burn out / shutdown doing anything it seems.
And you're right, some of us have to remember that what looks traditionally functional from outside may actually be completely miserable for us. Which I can tend to remember for "obvious" things, such as I know the stereotype ideal of a house, a 9 - 5 office job, a spouse, two children, a dog and BBQs on weekends would be my definition of hell. But its harder to remember that what others consider function, what you're "supposed to do" may be equally as inappropriate.
I guess it's what is functional for us as individuals. I get frustrated with nonfunction because to me it denotes dependence. At the moment I am highly dependent again and I hate that. I want to be functional in a way I can fully support myself with a job I can work without shutdown, and complete independence from my relatives.
I'd just like to avoid screwing up for a while is all, and actually get somewhere in life that isn't just ... Nothing.
PS : I don't see how they can persist with this "levels" thing, as anyone with autism can go from apparently "normal" to unresponsive and nonverbal / shutdown / meltdown under the right circumstances. What is behind the levelling system?

I don't think anyone is ever completely independent. Even NT adults have their friends who they call for help, their significant others that they share chores with, their family who are a shoulder to cry on, therapists and counselors... We are social animals. While many of us enjoy solitude, it's not in our nature to be able to handle everything ourselves.

At least that's what I tell myself.

It's tough as nails. That's for sure. I very often pray to God that he take my life in my sleep because it just seems too hard even to just get by some days. But I don't know, it just do one thing at a time. Sometimes I have to take a nap after every single thing I do. That's how it's been for the past week. I make a phone call, I take a nap. I pay a bill, I take a nap. Sometimes that's how my days go. Sometimes I am happy if I can just accomplish one thing. But sometimes I can do lots of things but not often. And most conversations end up stressed and frustrated and sometimes lead to head bang meltdowns just because I have a hard time communicating.

I am pretty much listening to music almost 24/7 to try to minimize the sounds outside otherwise I am I will be constantly having meltdowns. Right now I average two a day, maybe three. The times that I do great are when I can get away to nature like on a hike or when I am kayaking or skiing. But that is few and far between because now my car broke down and I when it's working I have to ration gas because we are really struggling right now. So it's not easy. Don't be fooled by the NT like appearance. There is nothing NT about me.

This is an interesting thread. I'm not sure in some ways what functioning means. I wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, sometimes go for a walk, do homework, watch TV/movies/netsurf, take a shower, go to bed. I mean to me that's functioning. Some days are bad and others are good.

I'm functional to a limited extent but still have very poor short term memory & executive functioning. I can think of something that I need to do in the very near future & forget to do it within 30 seconds. Very frustrating. Fortunately my work makes some allowance for that because at least at work I'm a very good worker. I'm always on time & have a very good safety record in spite of my failings so they tolerate the bad as it's still better than most other drivers. No accident's no tickets in the last nine years.

As a kid, that is about right for what your level of functioning should be. Now imagine everything that your mom and dad have to do to keep the house you live in and provide food and clothes for you and to provide everything you have. Imagine if you had to do all that stuff by yourself and if you did not do those things that they have to do to provide you all that, you would end up losing everything and possibly even homeless or dead. Then you will have an idea of what it is like for a an HFA who is required to do all that even with the struggles we have on a daily basis. Many of us are not capable of getting help from the government even though we try to so we end up having to do all that kind of stuff with no help at all from anyone and if we fail at it, we lose everything.

So a fun exercise for you would be to ask your parents what it takes for them to keep a house and to keep food on the table and clothes on your back and a tv for you to watch. That might help you have a bit of understanding of is required to successfully function in this world. I think that would be a fantastic project for you and you might enjoy it. And it will definitely give you a much deeper appreciation, gratitude and love for you parents.

As a kid, that is about right for what your level of functioning should be. Now imagine everything that your mom and dad have to do to keep the house you live in and provide food and clothes for you and to provide everything you have. Imagine if you had to do all that stuff by yourself and if you did not do those things that they have to do to provide you all that, you would end up losing everything and possibly even homeless or dead. Then you will have an idea of what it is like for a an HFA who is required to do all that even with the struggles we have on a daily basis. Many of us are not capable of getting help from the government even though we try to so we end up having to do all that kind of stuff with no real help and if we fail at it, we lose everything.

Needless to say, I cry and pray a lot.

But a fun exercise for you would be to ask your parents what it takes for them to keep a house and to keep food on the table and clothes on your back and a tv for you to watch. That might help you have a bit of understanding of is required to successfully function in this world. I think that would be a fantastic project for you and you might enjoy it. And it will definitely give you a much deeper appreciation, gratitude and love for you parents.

im not very good at functioning.

a good day for me is:

managed to get my points out most of the day (full sentences and not screwing up too many words)
didnt forget anything i needed to do....more then once.
didnt say something stupid
managed to get everything i wanted to done


a normal day:

managed to mess up most words, probably whilst trying to make a joke or observation
forgot half of my to do list.
said only a handful of stupid things
only got a few things done.

alot of the ways to cope are to surpress most emotions till someday that i completely meltdown into a mess, only to regain composur later and then go back to normal
so yeah....not that good haha

i am able to function on a basic level, i can remind myself to use the bathroom and do that by myself, i can keep myself clean and shower regularly. i can feed myself when i am hungry. however i sometimes get overloaded with other tasks, like i rarely do laundry, and generally cleaning can take a lot of time for me. i cant really work or go to school because i become overloaded. i dont cook complicated meals for various reasons. i dont like doing things with too many steps because i get easily confused.

but overall i think i do well, i live relatively independent and im able to care for my 4 pets. i say i get by.

This question can be divided into the things i like to do, the things i have to do that i've done before, & the things i have to do that i'm not used to doing.
I do very well at the first two, not so much the third. I've organized my life as much as i can to avoid those, but they keep happening. I think as i've gotten older, i've become more proficient, but it still can unnerve me, & always takes a lot of energy. I recommend, however, taking the trouble to consciously explore new situations when you are young so that you will acquire varied coping skills early--while there's not yet much at stake if you mess up.

Because of social anxiety, on most days it is an accomplishment for me just to leave my room. Since moving into my university halls flat two months ago, I have never spent any social time with anyone, partly due to my anxiety and partly because I don't have the time (if I want to pass my course). The only recreational activity I do now if I have time is play Pro Evolution Soccer on the PS3. So I think it's fair to say that I struggle to function; I am now past the stage of caring whether I speak to the other people in my flat because I have too many other problems, and couldn't care less if they hate me because of my social anxiety. If they say something hostile about me (which they probably will) I am not going to stand for it.