JohnnyLurg wrote:
The quote "Be nice to nerds. You might end up working for one someday" which is often attributed to Bill Gates has plagued me for years. Who is more nerdy than those with AS? And yet most of the people I know with AS are either unemployed or underemployed, especially if they didn't major in computer science, engineering, or business (I was an English major), while almost all of the successful people I know are NT and were often popular and attractive in high school and college. I deleted my LinkedIn at one point because I couldn't stand seeing all the people who bullied me becoming more successful than I was. Now I am less bitter than I was before when I wrote
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=286142 and have a decent and humble retail job which I enjoy, but that quote as well as "The meek shall inherit the Earth" still haunt me because most of the people I know with AS are now less successful than I am. Are those quotes flawed? Does it give us an unjustified feeling of entitlement to believe that the popular jocks will be bagboys while we become successful? Should the quote be amended to "Be nice to nerds, unless they major in English and/or have AS, then bully the s**t out of them?" I don't get it.
I used to feel sad about this but now I see the whole thing differently. I decided a few years ago what I want my life to be all about; if you like, what my definition of success is. My definition, for me, is to maintain my home, my son and myself in a basic but gentle and honest way, to act lovingly to the people around me whenever I can and when I am well enough to work honestly at something which helps people. That's it.
I have a degree from a major UK university and higher level qualfications too but I am only able to work in a low paid job. I am a fully qualified teacher up to undergrad level but I can only work as a part-time
special needs support assistant because of my health (I have a neuropathic pain condition). By the world's standards I could feel sad that I am not able to make more of my life, but the fact is I am doing the best I can manage.
So I judge myself by the standard I chose - which is really about trying to be loving to my son, my self, my neighbours and my society. In that respect I am succeeding - I am appreciated very much at work, especially by the children, I take a full part in my church and help people there whenever I can, I help my neighbours and I love my son very very much and do all I can to help him. It is more than enough for a good life. Success in the eyes of the world - well I can do without that. Most people I read about who are really successful in a worldy sense are also terribly dis-satisfied and unhappy. If that's success - they can keep it. I choose a simple life with a lot of love in it.
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"That's no moon - it's a spacestation."
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ICD10)