Public telephone calls? No go?

Post Reply New Topic

How should they be dealt with? Usually I don't have a problem with public telephone calls being from Northern Ireland ...but having now moved to England i've started to notice that people here don't generally talk in public as a rule.

I don't know what the etiquette is for public phone calls around here..It seems to be different to what i'm used to back home; at home there is generally enough background noise for me to hold a call on say a train without worrying about people eavesdropping...Here I have to watch what I say, i'm never 100% sure if people can hear what I am saying/listening in...

Should I give up phone calls in public or is there another alternative? Do forum members have phone conversations in public? Is it seen as rude as a general rule?

Last edited by owenc on 14 Nov 2016, 9:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't know where in England you are exactly, but I can tell you that in London people talk on their phones in public all the time, and loudly as they like. There is a lot of background noise -- noisy traffic, airplanes overheard, and general chatter on crowded streets, so I suppose they just think their voice is drowned out by the rest of the noise.

People talk on the phone in my local supermarket even in an aisle where I'm the only other person, and they don't seem embarrassed that I can hear everything they're saying.

I get the feeling it's seen BOTH as rude and yet also just kind of accepted as the new normal, paradoxically.

Unrelated, but when I read your title my initial thought was that you were afraid to use a payphone. My current special interest being the Bell System and 1970s era telephony; I guess that just shows how autistic I really am.

I'm in East Anglia.. So the South of England more or less.

I'm getting the impression that people are finding it rude based upon their body language and the overall atmosphere around me when I answer my phone.. I don't actually use my phone in public except on trains.. I know that it is rude to hold a phone call on a bus etc but it imo is different on trains..

Issue being here in East Anglia: people go silent when I answer my phone and immediate dart their eyes over to me and start eavesdropping to see what I am saying I guess because of my accent.... (Today as an example, I had a woman staring at me for a good Ten minutes (I could see her through the window) while I talked to my mother today on a Crosscountry train.. I swear as soon as I open my mouth here everyone stares at me.)

For background: I use my phone on the train because it gives me comfort and helps me relax but I don't want to use it if people keep eavesdropping and staring at me every time I open my mouth.. I know that the Northern Irish accent is unique and not commonly heard here.. But I still don't have patience for people eavesdropping.. It's starting to irritate me.. my accent isn't THAT interesting....

I've never owned a mobile phone but at home, I need total quiet to use the house phone. I'm not fond of hearing other people's phone conversations. Even seeing people use them makes me, irrationally cross. Yes, I'm a phone hater!

I have this weird thing when I'm in public: I hate others to hear my conversation. I talk very quietly and can't stand it when the person I'm with, broadcasts what they're saying to everyone around us. My son is terrible for this. He has AS as well and whereas I'm quiet, he's very loud. I'm forever shushing him

In the netherlands, a public phone-call is usually acceptable.
You should not raise your voice, but speak as if the person is standing next to you (which he basically is), and there are some situations where a phone call isn't acceptable (but those are the same situations as those in which speaking isn't either (like in a theater).

in my experience as well, even though people can hear what you are saying; they usually don't care and therefore don't register the conversation as such.

Are you aware of the volume of your voice? I know some aspies have difficulty gauging that sometimes. If you are being even the slightest bit too loud, then you'll get looks from some people, particularly in enclosed spaces like train carriages (even with your lovely accent ).

While a public phone call on the street say is perfectly fine, people can be a bit funny about a phone call on public transport (buses or trains) because you're in a carriage with other people who are usually trying to keep themselves to themselves in that very British way. Your call might be disrupting relative quietness, and moreover they can't help but hear what you're saying, whether they deliberately eavesdrop or not. I think the stares and glares you get might be related to this; because you're all in a public space there are certain unspoken rules, and if you're on the phone, even though it's a private call, it does affect everyone in the carriage.

If I take or make a call on the train, I try and be as brief and discreet with it as possible. I sympathise with your need to speak to your mum, but if I'm honest I've been annoyed at 'that guy' who has a long, loudish phone call on the train, and I think (from pop culture references to the same) this is true of many people.

Oh I love an Irish accent! It's so pleasing.

Since you're in East Anglia -- about as far across the British Isles as you can get, lol -- they might be turning to look because of your accent. Although there are lots of Irish around England, I suppose in some places full of just locals, the different accent might turn heads. In a very large city less so as there are all kinds of accents.

Also what racheypie suggested about wondering if your volume may need thinking about? I know I sometimes fail to control my volume and I speak too loud sometimes (this from someone who was selectively mute when a child!! Overcompensation haha).

Volume and/or having an accent that's not local will often make people turn their head to look.