Anyone disappointed with how things are in their life?

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I hate myself because I never graduated from high school, never went to college or school, I'm bad at making friends, I have no romantic partner and I don't have a paid job outside of my family. I rather love my best friend than even try to like myself.

I'm not disappointed as such but I spent years wishing I could have lived up to others' expectations, which caused me great disappointment and which was in the end the very thing that was holding me back. I wanted to go back in time to when I was confused at school and become un-confused. What I discovered after a lot of attempts at small classes is that I was only good at subjects that matched my interests at home, and that my interests at home had developed very strongly (but slowly) without my really noticing.

I think that on the whole I was and I still am very divided between the wider world and my private world. There is a gap that I cannot bridge except with very-very small bridges that I built myself.

I went to college but the education amounted to nothing since i can't do the job all of my friends moved to other countries and married. I'll probably never be able to marry and the future scares me a lot. You're not alone and it's not your fault.

Yes.

I wish I could have become independent and lived in another country.

I actually do know that it is my fault.

The fact that I blame myself is affected by years of things going wrong. I can't help it because I actually hate myself but I have lots of love for my friends that I do have.

I am, too.

Yep. Made mistakes, let down by people.

I am happy with my life. I may have made mistakes along the way but that is how one learns. Life can be a grand adventure but you must learn to subdue your fears.

I know that technically I should be proud, since I made a lot of big changes the past year, but it never quite seems to make me happy. There are a lot of things I struggle with and don't understand still, so I feel like I don't have that much control. Even when I'm "successful" socially (i.e. coworkers will come talk to me, or people will invite me to a group), I don't understand the process that goes into getting there, or developing friendships or relationships from that point. I'm very much adrift and frustrated at it.

In a way.

Not because of what I did or did not do.

More like I'm disappointed at something that affects lives of many from where I live. People around me couldn't truly reach their potentials simply because they are all too busy barely keeping a roof above their heads. Some resort to baser things, some did things worse.

From where I live, a household could have a dual or even triple income with no child to raise or elderly to take care of, and still live in poverty.
From where I live, a person can't live alone unless they are rich and lucky.

From where I live, people mainly couldn't finish school because of money, and scholarship is more or less a competition.
If they did graduated, they are bound to be underemployed unless they are very talented or lucky to make a break, happened to get a job in demand, and leave this country.
And even if they get to leave this country, everything will be a gamble. At best, it's a full blown uplift. At worst, getting tangled in foreign affairs, severely underemployed, and end up getting abused, imprisoned, or killed while at it.



The rest? The rest are great. I'm on a good track, on my own pace too. I have a lot of fulfillments myself, and I know there will be more if I figured how to reach it.
I already figured things. Some are figured rather too soon or too early, that I'm aware that it may stunt my growth. But I'll pay the price nonetheless, and I won't regret it, mistakes or otherwise.

So no, I'm not disappointed with my life.
But I'm disappointed at the world I grew up and living with.

I myself don't have much of a problem in life. More like I end up others having problems more than I do for some reason.

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I used to be jobless, and people were always disappointed with me.

Now I have a job, and it's kind of making me miserable. All I ever seem to do is work, and all of my friends kind of drifted away from me. I have a few friends left, but I'm not sure how much longer that will last, since we're losing one more soon, and raising children is making things more difficult.

Everyone is addicted to social media now, and I miss being able to chat with online friends. Nobody talks TO each other anymore, only AT each other. There's no conversation.

Things could be better. Things could be a lot worse.

I'll try to put this in a simplistic,but comprehensive manner of saying such,I was diagnosed late in my life so a great many resources & opportunities were missed out on, which I honorably regret and feel bad about. ;however, I try to make up for said difficulties yet, some of my attempts have met with both thumbs up & thumbs down. I'll be honorable to say, I have no friends outside of those people here on WrongPlanet. Yes, I have made sincere attempts at such, though there were fraught with failure after failure. Often , I've felt it's best that other autistic people be able to make a better going at such and not only find friendship but, long lasting relationships & marriage.

One could say, I've given up with the idea that I'd ever have a long time partner or wife and relegate myself to being single/alone. I've had others tell me, keep trying it will eventually happen. Let me straightforward that when you keep pushing yourself year after year to sincerely & honorable make the facilitation of friendship- relationship(s) when it becomes emotionally difficult, you reach a point where it has become a scenario where you have spent such a great deal of emotional energy wherein, you wound up digging further & further into a grave, though not in literal terms but figuratively. These days, I simply behave sincere & honorable unto all of whom I across yet, have a question mark floating over wondering if such scenario will change by the end of my existence.

Am I happy with my life? No. It's been my fault? At times, but I tend to think I had very little choice for the most part. Am I trying to change things? Yes. Will that work? I am very confident albeit there's a high chance that things will fail miserably. Anyway, that's all that's left and I must do it.