Why do people ignore me?

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I will be chatting and asking a simple question, like what does this drink taste like compared to something else and ill get ignored. I'm not annoying yet still get ignored. Why?

Being ignored is not the worst thing that can happen. People who know you and care about you will be interested (although they can occasionally take you for granted). Strangers may take an interest if you are rich, famous, entertaining, or otherwise interesting. Civility, courtesy, and politeness are disappearing fast in our society. It may only be a matter of time when those who are ignored now may come to be targeted. Being able to be invisible could be a survival strategy.

I recently listened to a few TED talks about communicating with others and making connections and a few things.

One speaker said that people aren't interested in lots of little details, they are more interested in what they share in common with someone. A second speaker said there are three A's to connecting.

A. Acknowledge the person
B. Apologize to the person
C. Accept the person for who they are

On a few occasions, I have been known to talk about things that seem like they are, "Off-topic" to others or miss the mark. Because of that, other people tend to get annoyed with me.

Sometimes people ignore me on purpose. I know it's on purpose because they make sure that I know that they are purposefully ignoring me. They stare at me dead on and scowl as they refuse to answer my question.

I often used to wonder why people in general were so interested in boring things and so bored with interesting things. Then I realised that interest and boredom are in the eye of the beholder. So the question became about why my interests are so different to those of everybody else. I don't just mean special interests and hobbies. I mean anything they or I happen to say or do. The answer is something to do with the autistic brain's proneness to extreme specialisation and its failure to notice the things others notice.

One solution is to learn to play music reasonably well. I did that (without much suspecting what would happen), and it really helped. Most people like music, and there's a kind of charisma effect so that even when you're not playing, people are still interested in you, to a degree at least. The more they like your music, the more they listen to what you have to say. I guess that's why so many people are interested in the political opinions of popular musicians. Must be something to do with social status.

For some stories you can get their interest with a teaser related to what you want to say. A couple I've actually used:

If I had known the ambulance was trying to follow me I would've gone slower.

I think she's nervous about things like that because she had to be in hiding when she was little because so many people wanted to kill her.

It could be a social power play. It might not be, but if it's a certain person or group, they may be trying to establish a pecking order and want you at the bottom. I know my older brother used to do this with me. I suspected it through our childhood but a few years ago I ran into one of my brother's old friends and he outlined the kinds of things my brother would do to make sure I was at the bottom.

It could be because you didn't get their attention before speaking. There are 3 steps to being able to communicate to someone:

1. Get their attention (eg say hello and get a hello back, make eye contact do you know they can tell you want to speak to them, etc)
2. Provide background so they can understand the context of what you want to say/ask (eg I saw X drink on sale for half price yesterday, and I know you often drink it...)
3. Then ask your question

When they ignore you, you probably just didn't have their attention, and/or your question came out of nowhere and they didn't know why you were asking, or what the context was

Reminds me of a time when I was in a conversation with a group who were talking about a new neighbour one of them was getting, and he was worried it might be a party drug-addict like his previous neighbour. He'd met his new neighbour once when he was being shown the house, and I could tell he wanted to discuss it with us for reassurance. He said something about the new neighbour said he sees his mother a lot, who lives at the other side of the country. So I put in "well if he sees his mother a lot maybe he won't be at home much to want loud parties and all that". Although there was a gap when I'd said that, nobody seemed to hear what I said. Then after a bit more discussion, someone else said exactly what I'd said, and everyone agreed and the guy was like "that's a good point".

I hate when that happens. Maybe my voice is too weak it gets lost in the filters NTs are blessed with in their brains that filter out certain sounds.