Feel even more alone

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I thought coming here would make me feel less of an outcast but it hasn't, rather, it's exacerbated the feeling.

I've read through a lot of the posts, people telling each other that they relate to what they are saying on another level, and I understand some of it; not being able to 'hear' people when they're talking, a few social barriers but mostly I feel more alone than ever. I don't understand. I thought the reason I didn't connect with people was because I am autistic. My therapist recommended to me I interact with more people with Asperger's (or, at least, lurk on forums).

I know this is rude but I am going to suggest it because I know no-one will believe me anyway. I feel like there are a lot of pseudo-intellectuals here. In all honesty, I feel like I could not connect with them for two reasons - I find it difficult to communicate via the Internet and that people just won't understand my style of thinking. Which is not to say my style of thinking is at all smart, haha. But what I have found with pseudo-intellectuals is that they do not like people disagreeing with them. (Or rather, they DO like it, so they can rub the sweaty balls of self-approving 'corrections' or 'debates' in the other's face.) What I am saying is I feel there are predetermined ways to act and think on this forum that I can't fit in with.

For some reason I get a distinct feeling of dread that the people here will reject me. Not because I'm an 'outsider' in the traditional sense, obviously they are welcome here. I fear that people will reject me here because I do not fit the mould of what someone with Asperger's should be.

I feel so alone. I cannot connect with NTs, I already knew that, but what if I can't connect with anyone at all?

When I re-read this I can barely tell if it's coherent. As soon as the words go down they don't make sense. I am sorry for being mean, I am aware this is a problem with myself, not others.

It's not a problem just with you. Plenty of others, wether they'll admit it or not, do exactly as you say there. That bit about some not being able to handle when others see things differently, or the bit where if they see something that's "wrong" to them they MUST jump in and be a snot about it. Unfortunately, it happens fairly often on this forum (heck, I was just looking at a topic that was stuffed with that). I think quite a few of us here can think of multiple examples.

One thing to keep in mind though is that simply because you come to a place that has people with Aspergers, absolutely does not mean you'll INSTANTLY connect with them. This is still a forum, and an active one. There may be nice people here, but as with every forum, there are certainly some that arent so nice. It being an autism-centric forum doesnt exclude it from that universal rule.

It might take you some time to really find people here that you can connect with, as that's how any social stuff goes, even here. Give it a shot though. Read some of what different people are saying and find some that you think you might like to connect with, and just give it a whirl. Plenty here would be open to that, likely.

Besides, you arent the only one that doesnt act (or want to act) in the "predetermined" way. Cant do it myself either. Dont want to, for that matter.

Just be yourself, is what I say. You'll not be able to make REAL connections by trying to be someone else anyway.

Good luck to you. Hopefully you'll find people on here who you can get along with really well.

I find that most places have a predetermined way to act and think, some more stubborn and rigid than others. The Internet is a good place for arguments and sometimes very little else. I've found a few groups I like, but they're more laid-back people my age I play games with who just show up to play games and not care if people are weird as long as they can have fun.

I don't feel I fit in here either, but I don't fit the "Aspie stereotypes". Things like wanting to work in STEM, having strong special interests, and disliking social contact. I'm not good at math. I don't like animals better than people and get scared if dogs jump on me and go for my face. And I don't like being told how I, as an Aspie, must think, feel, or act by people who know nothing about me.

Where are the "pseudo-intellectuals" that you're talking about? I've been reading this forum for awhile and don't know what you're referring to.

I'm going to respond using Canary's avatar. Instead of using words.
The eevee's Question mark is exactly what is going on in my head. Just you know instead of on my head it's in my head.