Out of interest, why do you think that society ruined your life?
Personally, I took the opposite from my diagnosis.
The things that went badly in my life were (aside from a couple of individuals definitely to blame) nobody's fault.
They weren't my fault. All those times I felt like a failure, or a disaster, or just plain weird, were as a result of a disability and beyond my control.
Meanwhile, all of the times I was treated badly by others are no longer quite so easy to blame on them. I now recognise it as natural NT behaviour, and a response to me being different. It is normal for people to group together with like-minded individuals and to 'pick on the outcast' to make themselves feel more integrated and safe, and understanding that has helped somewhat. All of those times I was bullied at school and didn't understand why, and hated how the bullies made me feel, I now recognise may have happened because I did stand out (and for good reason). At the time I didn't understand how people could target an individual, break them down and seemingly find pleasure in it. Now, I understand that I was not targeted for the sake of it but because I did stand out as being different. It doesn't make it right, but it makes it more understandable.
I've been through a lot of pain in my life, but I've learned since diagnosis that so much of it is due to inherent difference caused by my autism and is as a result of natural NT behaviour. Consciously or subconsciously, people have picked up on my differences all through life.
There are only a few people I will not forgive, and the reasons for that go far deeper. I hold no grudge against society - people were just doing what they've evolved to do, and it isn't anyone's fault that I don't fit smoothly with society and can seem 'odd' and unlikeable.
21 Nov 2016, 4:14 pm
