I'm rebellious as hell and I hate it

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Well I don't really know how to start but here we go. Today I got in trouble in school for not putting my phone away after I was trying to calm down because I was obsessing over not having my glasses. Now the school is threatening to put me in a prison school over a phone I wouldn't give up. Wtf. What do I even do.

School is hell for me because I just don't care about the work deep down inside, I only care about whatever is on my mind that day and can't stop thinking about it. Work is nearly impossible because I can't focus due to me just not caring about school and I get angry when told to do any work without an immediate reward.

I guess you would call this rebellious I don't really know. I just want to live a normal life but the inner me doesn't want and wants to resist being told what to do. (Think the evil Kermit meme) When I try to go along I can't help but have the feeling that I'm living a false life. I think I'm insane. Please help I just want a normal life. So please help anything I do in school is heavily watched because of my history of being placed at special schools in the past and I somehow managed to make it back to public after doing well in summer school.



I guess you could say I'm on the wrong planet. Haha (fml)

Another problem is that all the people who try to help me can't because they just don't get it. They just tell me to focus and that I'm avoiding my work. Which I am avoiding my work because when I try I just can't focus because I don't care how hard I try.

I think there are a lot of people like me but since they didn't have good parents and or because they couldn't afford it they were never diagnosed and ended up becoming prisoners of the system. The school system is a mess. They put you into three groups, normal, very mentally disabled or criminal. I'm none of those.