Annoyance at younger Aspies/kids on spectrum?

Post Reply New Topic

Perhaps it's because it's because I work in a middle school, but does anyone else get frustrated with younger Aspies / kids on the spectrum? Many of them often have behaviors/attitudes that are disruptive to the learning process in general education classes ( where they get placed) and it gets waved away as "Well Johnny is on the spectrum and it's to be expected, so ignore it and continue on."

Often, the students tend to have very physical stims (I've had students play with themselves, their lips, rock back and forth in a desk chair [nearly knocking it over], jumping around, picking their noses and then eating it, trying to break things when frustrated, etc) or vocal (shouting, randomly blurting things out, mumbling under their breath, making slurping noises, etc). Along with this, tends to be an attitude of superiority/ that they know it all, when most of them tend to be the worst students academically. All of these behaviors in a classroom with NTs and other students who have other learning disabilities. I find myself getting frustrated on a daily basis with these students because they are a disruption and often a burden on their classmates with their behavior /they impeded the learning process for them with their behaviors.

I may sound old, but when I was a student or even 5 years ago, there was a behavior standard you had to meet in order to be in general education classes. I'm wondering if my frustration is due to my own Aspieness ( i.e. Rigid thinking on how things should be) or if there are others out there who have issues with the younger generations behavior and attitudes?

Superiority complexes and mumbling under ones breath is what middle and high school students tend to do.

Thinking younger people are spoiled and get away with way too much is what older people tend to do. When people my age talk about people your age that type of thing is often said. My parents generation said the same things about my generation.

Asp, I understand this, having experienced it myself with my grandparents talking about millenials and working with young people of middle-high school age.

However, my issue is coming from the fact that many of the young people I meet on the spectrum do not have basic social skills / all negative behaviors that will impact them later in life (being unable to hold down a job or live independently due to behaviors and attitude). As such, they often take up valuable time of instruction as the teacher has to correct them or refocus them on the task at hand.

Which in turn, effects their peers as their education gets disrupted. Or in terms of group projects (I hate them myself / think they're evil), where the group can not get anything done as a) the student on the spectrum does not do anything, forcing them to do all the work or b) gets so fixated on their idea of what it should be, that they waste all the time provided arguing with the group.

I understand that young people are a ball of hormones and poor decision making. My frustration is that many children on the spectrum are not taught (as I feel many of us were until 6ish years ago) how to behave or act in public / learn to adapt . Which in turn causes frustration for them later in life / those of us who come into contact with them on a daily basis.

I was one of those kids who were disruptive and would have behavior but I was always taken out of class and taken back to the resource room. My anxiety was so severe I was in the resource room full time when I was in middle school because I had a hard time functioning in mainstream because it was all a new situation for me and new kids and I knew none of them and I thought kids were being mean to me. My mom told me the same thing would have happened back in Washington but I still would have been familiar with the middle school because I had visited it before and there still would have been the same kids I would have known from 6th grade and before so I don't think it would have been as bad.

I say the problem is with the system because they don't have a good system on how to handle these kids and they use autism as an excuse to let them disrupt class rather than taking them out of class when they do get disruptive and taking them to the resource room. The way I was raised and treated, I think this is all unacceptable and shouldn't be tolerated to make it hard for the normal students to learn.

Of course they would not be on the spectrum if they were gifted with social skills.

I think social skills/body language classes and the related concept of respect need to be added to the basic school curriculum. Nobody is born with them, people are just born with varied abilities to learn them. Old person saying something you probably heard from your grandparents, but with all the devices younger people get a lot less opportunity to learn these skills no matter what their natural ability is. The money can come from scrapping teaching skills that are not useful anymore. Does anybody really need to learn how to write with a pen and paper anymore? Unless you are going into the STEM fields there is no practical need to learn basic math never mind algebra and calculus.

League_Girl, I am with you. However, many of the parents of the kids I work with are of the mind set that if we punish their kids or take them out to refocus / teach them the behaviors are wrong, we're in the wrong and discriminating against their children, which equals a lawsuit. My issue is for the other students who's educations are being impacted/ myself as part of my job is to aide students on the spectrum but can not when they have these behaviors arise. I would definitely agree on the social skills class. Along with one on practical life skills like changing a tire, balancing a check book, etc. and a re-haul of the college system to be geared to getting you into your profession sooner. An educator can dream though

I was also a disruptive student but I was chastised and given detentions along with consequences from my mother (who is a teacher). I can also relate about having anxiety during school. I went to five different middle schools and my behavior became more disruptive and destructive (towards myself and what I owned) the more anxious I got. Tough love and therapy helped out with a lot of those behaviors / positive stims (Crochet, crafts, pen twirling). Which many of these students could use, neurotypical and spectrum alike.

As a 16 year old aspie, I can speak for other young aspies.
I can see that the little ones can be annoying, but there are several reasons they may be that way with their disruptiveness.
Firstly, they may be anxious. They may be stimming to try and make themselves feel better.
Secondly, it may be a discipline issue. In which case, they need to be disciplined.
But if their stimming is either highly disruptive (such as shouting or breaking things) or just plain gross (like eating boogers ), you may need to make them aware of this and let them know the affects that has on other people.
As for the superiority complex, rather than tearing them down by telling them others are doing better, motivate them to do better by making them think "I'm so good! I'll do even better!!" rather than "I suck at school" because breaking their illusions could make them very depressed and therefore, not motivated to do any better.
Clearly I'm not a professional of any description, but these are just suggestions to keep in mind.

This makes me think of that bizarre standard set for kids on the spectrum: to become indistinguishable from their peers. Which peers? If you think of the low end so-called "normal" or "typical" kids, it seems the wish has come true. It's much better to help a higher-functioning person on the spectrum excel, both academically and socially, by helping them find a passion.

"Typical" and "normal" aren't the same thing. "Typical" is appallingly crude, nasty and dull. All of the behaviors described here are little short of disgusting.

Kids in general bother me, no matter if NT or ASD.

I suppose all kids do gross, anti social things at times. All of them need to be taught better.

I like playing with children. I prefer that over talking to adults of my age, unless I get to bug said adults like a curious child with odd questions-- which I'm actually allowed to do with their respective parents. So I could give them.. 'Possible future advises'.
I get to play children in the spectrum, especially on special occasions. Even nonverbal ones. 'High functioning' and verbal ones are funniest, when showing their knowledge to me. I get to be their friend more than once, and maybe teach them few things that might help them someday.

I'm rather lenient when it comes to interrupted interactions. After all, they don't know what 'timing' is, and I barely grasp it so far. If they have some sort of logic, I that varies if I'll bulge or not.
And I can't exactly interact with those who are.. 'quiet', 'high functioning' and verbal. Ages 14-17, on the worst stage, and it's rather understandable.


Though I sometimes get annoyed, most particularly with those whose co-morbid with ADHD. Most playful, but also the most annoying.



In the end, I just hope those children won't end up living in a life full of compromise that suffocates them by making them 'too weak to adapt the harsh reality' or parents and people being too hard on them -- it's a balancing act.
I don't like it whose coping mechanism is acting and avoiding (indifference is different) for the sake of.. 'whatever social wants they want', to outright deceiving their parents and those around them of their 'progress' to please them what they called 'success' and what is 'normal' if they end up growing up on a more functioning side of the spectrum.
So I end up warning some parents of what they might do wrong, and watch out for signs of anxiety and depression around puberty or at least around the time they gain enough social awareness to feel 'shame'. I don't want any of them living and coping with either *problems* for years or decades just because.
Sorry to those who are offended, but such kind of life isn't something I would want to put upon anyone else, future curebie or not.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Long reply to answer everyone

As a 16 year old aspie, I can speak for other young aspies.
I can see that the little ones can be annoying, but there are several reasons they may be that way with their disruptiveness.
Firstly, they may be anxious. They may be stimming to try and make themselves feel better.
Secondly, it may be a discipline issue. In which case, they need to be disciplined.
But if their stimming is either highly disruptive (such as shouting or breaking things) or just plain gross (like eating boogers ), you may need to make them aware of this and let them know the affects that has on other people.
As for the superiority complex, rather than tearing them down by telling them others are doing better, motivate them to do better by making them think "I'm so good! I'll do even better!!" rather than "I suck at school" because breaking their illusions could make them very depressed and therefore, not motivated to do any better.
Clearly I'm not a professional of any description, but these are just suggestions to keep in mind.