Need Help: How Did You Know You Had Aspergers

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Cliff Notes at End
I'm just looking for general information into how each of you discovered you were an Aspie and how you went about getting diagnosed. A little about me. I have pretty much been confused by humans my entire life. Although I have had many acquaintances throughout my life, I have never had any deep friendships. In fact, anytime I feel like someone is getting close to me I almost always cut them off by no longer reaching out to them or avoiding them if possible. My family owns a restaurant/bar so there are always people around so I have never had an issue with general aquaintances, just problems with someone getting close to me. There have been some major life events in the last year which began to unravel the mystery that is my life.
In September of 2015 I lost my first and only "adult" job. Which I held for 7 years. I was let go due to "performance issues" but I knew that to be pretty much a smoke screen. I was doing much better than many associates and never had an issue with customers. The only major issue was a constant disagreeance with my manager. We never saw eye to eye on many issues and I never felt I was able to communicate with her ever since she moved to our office. I felt she was too emotional in many decisions and not logical enough. The loss of the job was not a major loss since I never really liked the job and felt trapped. But I still can't let go. Ever since I have been doing part time work and in no hurry to get back to corporate America.
The second major life event was a longtime, on again, off again, girlfriend deciding she could no longer take living with me and asking me to move out. Which I am in the process of doing as we speak. Although I was taken aback, I was not completely surprised. Searching for reasons for our breakup and other clues led me to come across Asperger's as a possible reason for my life struggles. Many major clues will follow.
Relationship Struggles: My girlfriend and I have been in couples therapy for about 6 months due to our problems. She claims I do not listen to her and that she is being direct in her needs. I have no clue of these 'non-verbal' cues and I have begged her to just be vocal with me. But she has a hard time being vocal due to her upbringing. She also claims that I am not 'emotionally' available most of the time and I don't listen. These revelations led to clue number 2.
Due to our issues it was determined that I may be ADHD. I was diagnosed as a child but was discontinued from medication due to adverse side effects, I was only 8 at the time and the medicine was too potent I guess. Anyhow, no further follow up was given because I did not struggle to get good grades and was never really had any major behavioral issues as a child.
I went and had a psychological evaluation which consisted of a Tova test and an IQ test. No surprise on the Tova test, it showed ADHD but there were some surprises on the IQ test. I scored extremely high on the verbal section with some scores reaching the 99th percentile. While on the performance side I did considerably worse, reaching the 5-10th percentile in some categories. I was told how abnormal these results were but did not given much of a follow up from the tester since she no longer performed therapy sessions. Basically she recognized that there is a right hemisphere issue that is organic in nature and not psychological. She didn't believe it to be traumatic brain injury and the diagnosis was ADHD, persistent depressive disorder and general anxiety.
Anyhow during my research of these test results I came across non-verbal learning disorder which led to further reading on the topic and some discussion with our couples therapist about it. But, in the meantime my girlfriend decided to end the relationship and I have been in a tailspin since.
As I tried to grapple with the true reason for the separation I came across articles about Aspies and NT's in relationships. It was like reading the story of our troubled relationship. Everything began to make sense the more that I read. I as I read more and more about Asperger's syndrome, the more and more my entire life started to make sense.
Cliff Notes Version:
Hard time understanding people my whole life, limited deep friendships. Lots of time alone. Lost first 'adult' job due to not getting office politics. Very strained, on again, off again, long term relationship with women who believes I am not emotionally available and don't get her. Abnormal IQ test, some very high verbal scores, some very low performanc scores. Diagnosed ADHD, persistent depressive disorder and general anxiety. Read some articles on Asperger's, entire life finally began to make sense. All of this discovered in the last month and a half. I feel like I'm drowning and just looking for some answers. Any advice on how to proceed and what to expect going forward would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for how long this is. Thanks.

My spouse and I went to see a couples therapist. The woman got to talking to us and told us we both needed individual therapy before doing any couples work. She was the one who suspected aspergers but she wanted more than her opinion so she set the diagnosis ball rolling for me. I'm not sure my dx experience is common. I saw her, a few psychiatrists, a psychologist and ended up at the university of michigan (where they changed the dx from aspergers to pdd-nos). I don't really remember much about all of that. It was a stressful time in my life and mostly a haze to me now. I do recall though having that 'aha' moment that you seem to have happening... when you read all of these things and it's like someone is writing out your life experience. A lot of people here can relate to that.

I suspected for years.
I started reading articles by others creative individuals in my career path.
Then one day, I noticed books my spouse had on her library waiting list. Stuff like when yours tried to an Aspie etc. When the books arrived I skimmed some. I tend to speed read. Then I took online test while comparing my results to an unofficial sample of folks I convinced to take the online quiz.
Waited months to see a therapist.
.. after finding most professionals saw teens or younger people.
Took test ... got written results.

Now 284 a Days post that point..

i got diagnosed at 15 because i stopped talking to people at school, got in fights, turned up late, didn't do work, etc.

I meant to type either
Married to an Aspie or
Tied to an Aspie.

My wife has been very supportive pre and post diagnosis.

I can't remember if I posted that I also started connecting with parents whose teen agers were on the Spectrum aka Aspie.

I suspected 3 years ago when I read about it for some reason. I've struggled with anxiety, depression and an a history of unsuccessful relationships (and a lack of friends) for years. My psych at the time dismissed my idea about Asperger's. She was a dummy. Anyway, 6 months ago I was reading a book about it ("Neurotribes") and then started additional reading. Stuff like "So you think you have Asperger's" and Attwood's complete guide. I took the Aspie quiz. It took an additional 6 months to get formally diagnosed. But now I'm there.

I was in couples therapy too, until a couple of weeks ago. Now my girlfriend is moving out. The couples therapist is also my personal therapist. Long story short, we're not a great match and I'm now discovering a whole new world where my characteristics, behaviors, and desires (or lack thereof) are becoming clear. It's more clear why I'm anxious and depressed, and the quality of these, and there is now a better treatment plan. It's also clear that I'll soon be single again, but what the hell, I guess that's the way it had to be. At least I now have much better insight into who the hell I am.

Do some reading. Take the Aspie quiz. Read around more on here. And then decide if you want to try and get a formal diagnosis. Best of luck.

My husband has ASD.

Looking back, the issues were as clear as day.

Sensory overloads

No social skills, problems reading body language. Talking at people.

MONOLOGS! Timed him 1:45 hrs of non stop talking with me just nodding yes. I was wondering when he would finally get tired.

Black and white thinking.

I had no clue autism didn't go away as an adult. I knew about LFA people, but Aspergers? I thought all the special education stuff got them up to speed, ie normal.

When my husband was IP on the psych unit, his diagnosis was Schizoid Personality Disorder, OCD, anxiety, major depression. I called BS on the SPD. He just didn't fit the diagnosis. There were bits that were true, but no the whole thing.

I was the one who brought up ASD, and pushed to get it ruled out.

After all the testing was done, he would have been diagnosed with HFA, instead of Aspergers if he had a speech delay. The psychologist was amazed my husband kept it together as long as he did.

Had he not gotten tested, I would have left. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I tried changing everything I could about myself. Then I found out (through the testing), his behaviors had nothing to do with me.

That makes it easier because I don't personalize his behaviors anymore. I thought everything Aspie related he did was my fault. I wasn't smart enough, tidy enough, understanding enough..I felt like a monster because my husband was so woefully unhappy, and I was the jerk causing it all.

When my husband heard that he started bawling and melting down in the psychologist office. I was going to divorce him (no). I hated him (no). He couldn't understand how this diagnosis took a 10 ton weight off of my shoulders.

In short, my husband really didn't know, and I was the one who pushed for it. He was 50 when he received his diagnosis of ASD.

I don't have a formal diagnosis but, in 1997, I read a book that described a condition marked by social slowness combined with high intellectual functioning and the description fit me. The AS feature that fits me best is "intense special interests." All my life, I have had interests unusual for my age. As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to learn about something. One constant throughout my life has been animals, particularly cats. I don't think of pets as just a special interest. They were a lifeline for me and a life enhancer.

I've been diagnosed on the spectrum almost as long as I can remember, so it's always been a part of my life, but my DX was changed from classic autism to AS in 2003 because I had been showing more aptitude for certain tasks than classic autistics. I had always been very intelligent, being top of the class in most subjects, but socially I was a wreck.

I was driving home from my fortnightly jobcentre appointment in 2012 and half-listening to a BBC radio phone-in, when somethìng said by a caller caught my attention. I was wandering what the topic was, as I'd just heard a woman describing her son's problems and she may as well have been describing me! I didn't dare get out of the car when I arrived at home, for fear of missing anything.

It turned out that the topic of the phone-in was Autism in children, and although I was 42 at that time, I realised that all of the weird s**t, that had been going on throughout my entire life, suddenly started to make some kind of sense.

Later that day I Googled Autism and quickly came across the term Asperger's Syndrome, I had heard of it ( the Gary McKinnon case metioned that he had it ) but had no idea what it actually was. After reading for an hour or so, I realised that Asperger's Syndrome was the cause of my problems, for the most part.

I mulled-over whether or not to persue a diagnosis for about a year, before beginning the process in 2013. After six or seven appointments, at my local hospital's psychiatric centre, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome about eight or nine months later.

I haven't heard from the place since, even though they told me that I would be seeing them again for further appointments at some point. It's been almost exactly three years since my last appointment.

Unusually, I made the decision not to share my discovery with anybody at all, not even my parents.

I have known since childhood I was different, but I didn't know why. After nineteen years of teaching English, I became a gifted intervention specialist. I had a student who began talking about Asperger's Syndrome. I hadn't heard of it. I researched it on the internet and felt a chill come over me. I was reading a definition of what I was. I scheduled an appointment and was diagnosed with Asperger's. That was in 2008.

I've always known that I was diferent, but couldn't quite pinpoint what. When I was 11, someone mentioned the word autism in class. I didn't know what it was, so I researched it on Google briefly. At the time, it didn't seem remarkable to me except for the two symptoms, seemingly oblivious to pain and sensitive ears.

Then I asked every one of my teachers what is autism, and even some of my classmates. I started to get obssessed with it to the extent of my classmates noticing. I started to look back on my life, examine it, and realise how many aspects of it can be attributed to autism/Asperger's.

But I was 11. Who would believe me?

That was in late 2011. I would not get diagnosed until early 2015. One of my teachers sent me to the guidence counselor's office for being abnormally quiet, but they didn't make that connection. Another of my teachers has a son with Asperger's, and she talked about austism/Asperger's in class. I used that as an excuse to tell my parents about it. They thought it described me. That's how I was evaluated and diagnosed.

Also, when I was 12, I decided that if I could help it, I would wait until DSM 5 came out to get diagnosed, since it would merge Asperger's with autism.

I was diagnosed having autism.

The problem with having ADHD is that it can almost explain everything.... "Almost"...

Had problems, went to doctor, told me I was autistic, left, went back later, told me I was OCD, left, went back later, told me I had Asperger's, left, saw symptoms, agreed, today.