feeling different/not fitting in

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I was having an appointment with one of my therapists today and I was going over how I feel like I don't fit in, and feel different from everyone else, and how depressed that makes me at times. She thought that I would always feel different, but that the pain related to it would go away.

Is that true? Do most of us always feel different and like we don't fit it, but that at some point it no longer hurts? I sure get tired of feeling inferior to others.

Without knowing more about your situation,
all I can think to say is ...

"Be your best self."

There's got to be someone who appreciates you.

...

For the most part, it stopped hurting a long time ago.

I do get hurt sometimes---but it's pretty rare these days

You're a Full Professor. You don't HAVE to fit in LOL

I don't know the context of your situation but with me I started to accept myself in middle school and quit trying to be normal and fit in. Then I was much happier. Plus I didn't have things in common with my peers so why try and force myself to socialize if I didn't enjoy it. It felt exhausting. I guess that was when I got "worse" under my mother's eyes because I wasn't trying to keep on trying to conform to social norms and I wasn't being teased or harassed about it so I was allowed to be myself without having any pressure to fit in. I guarantee I would have been happier with myself even as a child in elementary school if kids had just accepted me and didn't give me any negative comments or ask me why I do certain things. But then I don't think I would have gotten better socially because of no negative feedback. I wouldn't have known how others felt about me and kids are honest and will tell you what they think of you. One of the hardest parts about being a kid. But then you become an adult and people are too polite to say anything or because they don't do confrontations. So you are free to be yourself without worrying about any teasing and harassment or getting any negative comments.

So you were never bullied or picked on? I hope that was true for you. I wish it would have been true for me.

I was picked on plenty, sir.

I didn't have it so bad objectively----but it FELT really bad at the time.

I know what it means to be scorned for being different.

After a while, though, I just said "screw it."

It was THEM who had the insecurities, not ME.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 30 Nov 2016, 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am often unsure as to what that actually is!

So how did you get the pain to stop?

Your "best self" is what you feel best doing on an hourly basis LOL

Basically, I decided to "treat people like I want to be treated."

And to ignore the schmucks who don't want to go by that credo.

This has worked the vast majority of the time.

I learned that I had to convey to all the fact that I have the right to basic respect, and that everybody has the right to expect respect from me.

All your life you never live down what you can't forget, so forget it.

When I was younger & going to school, I felt different, I didn't know I had Asperger & I felt like I don't belong.

Are you over that feeling now?

if only forgetting was that easy. I often wish there a pill or shock treatment that would erase the first 28 years of my life from memory

We lived in a small town so the schools were small so things were different.

Are you feeling pain because you feel different or because you feel inferior, or both? Also, have you ever "fit in" with other people who are different and who might not quite fit in either?