What do you think of this site

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http://heartlessaspergers.com/

It seems like there's been a LOT of hate against people with Asperger's Syndrome recently, which I find quite frankly rather irritating. These are the people that hurt and manipulate then turn around and say they are being abused. I really don't understand. Are some people just naturally evil people? Do they enjoy this? I certainly don't.

beware a woman scorned.

100% ignorance. All they know if what they perceive from the outside and assume to know. Are there bad people? Of Course they're bad people of all types. Stereotyping is narrow minded thinking.

Are you surprised? Doesn't the name of this website say the whole story?

Do you think both parties in a say, xeno-relationship, one alien, one human, would fare well together when everything separates them? This isn't Mass Effect.

NTs have their way of communicating. I agree that it often seems nonsensical and/or borderline psychopathic to us. But I imagine the reverse is also true. We must seem nonsensical and/or borderline psychopathic to them.

I have been in a relationship with an NT for about 2 years and reading through this website I recognized some complaints she'd have about me. I recognize that I'd be inflexible, see things in black and white, do rookie mistakes like offer her solutions to her problems instead of what she really wanted (emotional comfort).

She wondered why I never anticipated her needs. I wondered why she never told me what she wanted me to do and why she expected me to read her mind when every sane adult knows that's impossible to do. Her stubborn refusal to use direct language to express her needs so I could fulfill them frustrated me to no end. They say communication is everything in a couple and we almost never managed to communicate effectively. I'd like to say that's why she's my ex but the truth is she wanted an "open" relationship and I didn't so I left. Perhaps the one single instance where communication between us was loud and clear.

But there are also some horror stories on there that I think are unfairly portrayed as being wholly because of AS. Example, a testimonial about a guy beating the crap out of his wife, or another about being brutally put down each and every day. As if no NT ever laid hands on women or told them off! Are some traits typical of AS? Yes, I think so, and I think they can be hard for stomach for many NTs. But I think most of us do not go around insulting people or beating them up.

What really surprised me is how often the topic of lies and manipulation came up in the testimonials. I can't lie for crap, and one would think having no handle on the emotions of others would also make us pretty damn bad at manipulation.

Do I think AS people have no empathy? That's a complaint I've heard often about me. Even my mom has a go at me about this. My answer is that because I never really know what people are thinking, I have two solutions : 1) either I just blindly trust them at their word, which always ends badly when talking with NTs or 2) I push my needs and desires onto them (the golden rule).

I choose option 2. I do unto others as I would like them to do unto me. Sometimes it snags (when for example I would appreciate people being blunt in a situation where the NT communication style doesn't allow for that), but I feel like it has kept me from exhibiting the kind of behaviour these people complain about. There were some testimonials where even I wouldn't have accepted the behaviour they describe and I found myself puzzled as to why they stayed for years and years with these people, let alone went past the first 3 dates.

Some of the language on that website is amazingly callous for people who believe themselves to be empathetic human beings. They feel like they'd leave a child in the middle of the road if they left? They feel like they adopted special needs children? They feel like they were being abused while refusing to consider their partner might have felt the exact same way and that both points of view might have some validity? Come on. Sounds like aspietalk to me!

I don't feel like I have a lot of empathy (I have enough for the golden rule at least), but I do have a moral fibre. I try to be decent to everyone and anyone. The problem is that my definition of "decent" sometimes just doesn't add up to the NT world's. Does that make me equivalent to a "special needs child"? How condescending. Although I admit it must be nice to be able to stand on such a high pedestal that you're able to decide who is screwed in the head and who isn't. The typical NT for me is absolutely bonkers, and the society they built is nothing short of nightmarish. I can't complain, though. I am one man part of a tiny invisible minority.

I actually echo most of the conclusions of this website. "Run like hell", "never date an aspie", etc. Of course, for me it's the other way around. I don't think I'll ever date an NT again. Too complicated and chaotic for me, lots of drama that I feel I rarely instigated, I often felt manipulated. There may be exceptions, of course, so I try and keep an open mind. The lucky thing about being NT is that they have their pick since they're so many. Stumbling on one of ours is an exception for them, rather than the rule, whereas I don't have much choice and I have to navigate until I find the 1% of the 0.5% or some incredible odds like that. I'll keep an eye out, but at this point I'm better off buying a dog for the affection and servicing my sexual needs with my hand. Dogs don't BS you.

No one is entitled to love or friendship from other people. I see little point in seeking that from people who ultimately cannot understand us.

it needs to be said that at least for this aspie male, meeting another aspie as a mate, can be just as problematic, albeit for different reasons.

I honestly believe I am emphatic... But even with that knowledge I still think an NT will have difficulties being in a relationship with me....like my one sided conversations, And even if she managed to talk I won't hear anything she says....my lack of romance, but I like to cuddle and give butterfly kisses though ....but I think the worst part is my inability to "feel" love...I feel lust, admiration and infatuation but never love....

I've dated lots of aspie men, and I came to the conclusion (there are always exceptions to the rule, however) that I would prefer an NT guy. My main problem with aspies is their need for space. I mean, *I* have a need for space, but not romantically. I want to see the guy all the time if I'm going out with him. Perhaps not every day, and I definitely don't need to text someone all the time, that's exhausting. But, I just can't fathom how much space the aspie men I've dated have needed. It's beyond ridiculous, for *me*.

They make amazing friends though. They "get" my language. Open-minded NTs do too, but it's not common.

It annoys me when people act like they understand exactly how every aspie is, and especially when they imply we have no empathy. I have more empathy than most NTs. I have been kept up at night unable to sleep just from the knowledge that others are suffering and I'm powerless to stop it.

As I posted in the other thread, this is pretty clearly a bitter person on a vengeful crusade against an entire group of people she basically sees as representations of her ex. She has issues.

I vaguely recall reading about a study done on how much people lie on average during a day and I was left in a state of shock that people would use such an illogical form of communication so readily. What is gained from a web of lies is beyond me. How does one form trust with deception? Seems silly.

the person (I think it's a woman?) who authored this website is scorned, uninformed, and incorrect. It's SO ridiculous to try and connect psychopathy with ASD, referring back to Asperger's initial diagnostic terminology. It's an idiot web site. And it's a testament to how pissed the person is (I mean, WOW, they must REALLY be pissed to author a whole web site!! !) but also how off base they are. Nonsense.

Sorry. I see in black and white.

Empathy is one of the main personality traits I have, which I do feel quite impressed with (although it causes problems when I get too sensitive to other people's feelings). But because I am labelled with ASD, I am automaically assumed to lack empathy, no matter how much empathy I show.

I mean, an Aspie could volunteer at a homeless shelter, donate money to the disadvantaged, find a cure for cancer, etc, but still get called unempathetic just because of their label. But an NT can bully a disadvantaged person, misunderstand how it feels to be in a certain state of mind, and just think of oneself most their life, and still be called empathetic just because that person hasn't an ASD. (Not sure if other neurodiverse conditions get inaccurate and unfair stereotypes about empathy).

This Site is a trip as far as its little quirks are concerned.

I find most of the people here to be fine and decent.

There are, of course, trollish sorts.....and some people who get too technical about things.

Otherwise, I find WP to be the finest site of all those which are devoted to autism.

Looks to me like some woman is super pissed off over a bad relationship cause half the drivel she spouts out is waaay over dramatic. She goes on about empathy constantly. People who are like super empathetic typically are dramatic as f**k cause they can't control their special snowflake feelings. xD

I mean to even make a whole shittalking website and then pay for it and get a proper domain you must be pretty pissed off by something to go through all the effort.

Anyway a lot of her so called 'information' is wrong cause I know plenty of apies who are super empathetic and caring, it's like she's trying to put us in one group and say that group is bad when it's not cause it's actually really, really diverse.

I can't even be bothered to read through the rest of it cause it's so cringe, inaccurate and bad lol.